Bustle

You know what's sexy? Getting older. That may sound counterintuitive — stress ratchets up several notches, wrinkles set in — but if your 20s are for exploring what you like in bed, your 30s bring the confidence to spell it out in titillating detail. Whether you're indulging in singlehood's limitless possibilities, or with a partner who's spent years honing their craft (i.e. pleasing you), you're finally feeling uninhibited. The result? A fantasy land of satisfying connection and A+ orgasms.

This isn't just our own wishful thinking. As part of Thirsty-Something, Bustle's investigation of sex in your 30s, we surveyed 274 women and nonbinary people in that age bracket. Nearly two-thirds (63%) say sex is better now than in their 20s, and 80% chalk that up to being more comfortable talking about their desires and boundaries. For many, it's more routine, but they've tuned into exactly what turns them on.

It's a decade of diverging lives: While some are finding long-deserved pleasure post-divorce, others are bringing new kinks into old relationships. Some are exploring their sexuality and others are fantasizing about a certain Bridgerton duke. It’s the era of not giving a f*ck... while giving many, if you catch our drift. Enjoy.

— Hannah Orenstein, deputy editor of lifestyle and wellness