Sophia Benoit

Sophia Benoit is a columnist at Bustle who writes the sex and relationship advice series It’s A Pleasure. She also has written author profiles, product reviews, and fun pop culture pieces. In her advice column, she loves telling people to leave bad situations, to give themselves a break, and to accept that there are no easy answers. No matter what she’s writing, you can guarantee at least one bizarre metaphor and a ton of italics.

In 2021, Sophia wrote a book of essays called Well, This is Exhausting, where she overshared about her parents’ divorce, her childhood crushes, and her current exercise habits. Sophia has written about sex, dating, culture, and entertainment for GQ, The Guardian, The Cut, Men’s Health, Allure, Refinery29 and more. You can find other, less-well-edited writing of hers on her Substack newsletter Here’s The Thing or on twitter, @1followernodad. Sophia moved to Los Angeles to go to USC, where she studied communication and screenwriting; much to the chagrin of her family back in St. Louis, Sophia has lived in LA ever since.

Above all else, Sophia is a romance novel reader, a champagne enthusiast, a Fleetwood Mac obsessive, and an IBS sufferer. She loves knowing everyone’s gossip, visiting family in Italy, cooking way too much food for Bachelor viewing parties, and giving unsolicited advice to her seven siblings and innumerable best friends (and then following up with, “That’s what I would do, but you do you!”) If you ever want to get a tattoo on a whim, sit on a sunny patio, or go to a ‘70s dance night, Sophia is your girl. You can keep up with all the professional stuff at 1followernodad.com.

It's A Pleasure

Should I Tell My Boyfriend The Truth About My Exes?

We made a pact, but it's getting complicated.

By Sophia Benoit

TV & Movies

There’s A Reason Why You Love Doomed Romance

The madcap enthusiasm for Nobody Wants This points to a romantic trope that’s back in full force.

By Sophia Benoit

It's A Pleasure

My Boyfriend Doesn't Care That Our Sex Life Is Incredibly Boring

My friends say I'm overreacting. Are they right?

By Sophia Benoit

It's A Pleasure

Is My Situationship Really Just A Bad Texter? Or Is He Not That Into Me?

I know he sometimes just wants “me time,” but still.

By Sophia Benoit

It's A Pleasure

My Boyfriend & I Have Different Love Languages. Help!

It's hurting our sex life and he doesn't seem to care.

By Sophia Benoit

It's A Pleasure

Our Sex Life Is Terrible But We’re About To Get Married

In our two years together, I’ve orgasmed only a handful of times.

By Sophia Benoit

It's A Pleasure

My Girlfriend Isn't In Love With Me Anymore. How Do I Win Her Back?

She’s lost interest in me. The amazing daily sex we once had is out the window.

By Sophia Benoit

It's A Pleasure

How Can I Do "Friends With Benefits" Without Getting Hurt?

I’m recently single and don’t know what I’m doing.

By Sophia Benoit

It's A Pleasure

I'm In Love With My Best Friend's Fiancé

And cheating on my boyfriend with someone else.

By Sophia Benoit

A Review

I Tried A $65 "Pleasure Serum" For Stronger Orgasms

The internet has rave reviews, but I'm skeptical about the scent.

By Sophia Benoit

It's A Pleasure

My Boyfriend Hates My Body

I always catch him staring at other women.

By Sophia Benoit

It's A Pleasure

My New Boyfriend Says It’d Be Hot If I Sent Him Feet Pics. Help!

I don't want him to feel self-conscious about this, but I'm also not sure how to feel or what to do.

By Sophia Benoit

It's A Pleasure

I Want To Have Great Sex Forever. Am I Being Unrealistic?

It seems like sex becomes less important after a few years with the same person.

By Sophia Benoit

It's A Pleasure

Help, My Boyfriend Is Too Rich!

I found out his family has hundreds of millions of dollars and it’s messing with my head.

By Sophia Benoit

It's A Pleasure

It’s Been 5 Years & I Still Can’t Stop Thinking About My Ex-Boyfriend

He pops into my head multiple times a day. How do I let him go?

By Sophia Benoit

It's A Pleasure

Is It Stupid To Get Engaged After 9 Months?

My friends haven't said anything outright, but I feel like they're judging me.

By Sophia Benoit

It's A Pleasure

I'm Not Sure I've Ever Actually Had An Orgasm. How Can I Tell?

Sex with my ex was great but not explosive.

By Sophia Benoit

It's A Pleasure

I've Never Had An Orgasm. When Should I Tell People?

Am I setting myself up for failure if I tell them, or setting them up for disappointment if I don't?

By Sophia Benoit

It's A Pleasure

Help, My Boyfriend Isn't Interested In Having Sex Regularly Anymore

I feel painfully unwanted.

By Sophia Benoit

It's A Pleasure

In Bed, Is Bigger Really Better?

I'm worried about my ability to satisfy someone.

By Sophia Benoit