30 Clever Ways To Slide Into Your Crush's DMs

Want to connect with someone who posts scenic landscapes without saying "I, too, am a nature person”? Leave a question like: "Where's your favorite place to hike?" or "What's your favorite national park?" It’ll start a conversation about all your outdoor passions, but in a low-key way.

If your crush has started a book club, or they generally post about the books they're reading, asking about it can be a great conversation starter. Trade book recommendations, talk about your favorite local Black-owned bookstores, and — if things go well — start a book club of your own.

If they've been posting a ton about a new hobby or activity, go ahead and ask about it. If it’s an interest of yours, as well, it’ll offer the perfect opportunity for them to “teach” you, borrow their blades, etc.

If you want to break the ice you truly don’t know — especially when can’t decide on a clever opening line — simply let them know that you've been thinking of reaching out and decided there was no time like the present.

If a picture is worth a thousand words, a song is worth a million. Offering to exchange playlists is a great way to learn more about each other's tastes in music and favorite bands. It’s also something you can come back to time and time again, as you continue getting to know each other better.

People love talking about their pets, which is why commenting on a story about their fish, ferret, frog, or dog is always going to be a casual way to begin a conversation.

If you both have an eye for design, compliment something you like and ask them a question about where they got it. They’ll love that you noticed. And from there, you can bond while talking about your favorite thrift stores.

No one wants a DM from Eeyore, but pointing out something your crush is good at that you are not good at can be a cute/charmingly self-deprecating way to reach out. Here’s hoping they’ll take the hint and invite you over for a cooking class.

Is their entire feed TBTs and vacation photos? Then ask them about the places they've been and the places they want to go next. They might even have a trip planned for later this year that they’ll be excited to about.

If you and your crush have a history of working together, reach out and ask how they’ve been faring over the last year. Has their job changed at all? Have they been working from home? Use it as common ground for conversation, as well as a way to reintroduce yourself to their life.

If family is important to you, you may be drawn to people that clearly like to spend time with theirs. Making a connection about shared interests, values, and funny stories, is a good way to break the ice.

Whether your crush is into brewing iced coffee, or frothing lattes to perfection every single morning, reach out and express interest. Everyone who drinks coffee has a story to tell, whether it’s about their routine, their equipment, or where they get their beans.

If you’re clearly both foodies who share a favorite local eatery, try asking them how often they go, what they like to order, or — if you’re feeling brazen — if they’d like to join you for a bite one Saturday afternoon. As the saying goes, the fastest way to someone’s heart is through their stomach.

This one works well if you and your crush have chatted before and you have a good idea what they’re into, humor-wise. Send them something political or a clip from a show you know they watch. It could be in response to a story they shared or completely out of the blue, as a way to say “I’m thinking of you!”

Whether they posted about a trail that you walk your dog on or your favorite Thai restaurant, commenting on a recent post is a super low-risk way of reaching out. People comment on stories all the time, so hey! Why can’t it be you?

Just spotted their third post of the week featuring a delicious smoothie? (Or avocado toast? Or blueberry waffle stack?) Go ahead and ask about it. Even though it’s super casual, this DM will put you on their radar and help build rapport.

Sharing a cute/embarrassing story is another sweet way connect with your crush. Maybe you saw them in CVS, maybe you didn’t. At least it’ll get a conversation going. And when it comes to casually sliding into DMs, that’s the main goal.

If your crush posted a cute selfie or really cool video of the hip taco joint they’re dining at on their story, sending a “reaction” emoji is a great way to shoot your shot. It’s simple but direct, and all it takes is a quick click!

Music is a universal language. If you both have a fave band in common, letting them know you’re also a fan is a great way to start up a solid conversation. Plus, mentioning some upcoming concerts you both might be interested in can lead to a potential date!

For most people with kids in their lives, this is an instant way to connect and have a meaningful chat. We all know a super proud aunt or uncle, and 9 times out of 10 they will have plenty of pics and stories to share about their little pals.

At this point, being a dog parent is considered a certified personality trait — there’s no pride like the pride some of us take in our pups. Casually mentioning the possibility of a doggy date is low risk, high reward.

Most people can appreciate some healthy competition, especially when it’s accompanied by a little bit of flirty negging. If you challenge your crush to a duel in something they enjoy doing — like a video or bar game — they might be hard pressed to turn you down.

Flattery and food: the best ways to anyone’s heart. Aside from sending your compliments to the chef, asking your crush for the recipe to their delicious-looking homemade meal shows that you’re a real fan of their culinary prowess. They might even offer to teach you IRL.

If you share a favorite travel destination, chances are you’ll both have a lot to talk about in terms of local hangs and eateries, or the best hiking trails around the area. Your crush will probably be happy to recap their trip with you and bond over your shared go-to spots or local beers.

If you know your crush stans a mega rival sports team, playfully gloating over a victory might call for an immediate response. Let the flirty sports banter ensue.

If you and your crush run in the same social circles, this DM may be the way to go. “This message is perfect if you have a few mutual friends because it will get your crush to do a little investigating to see who your mutuals are,” says Ouimet. “You are acknowledging that there's a chance you may or may not have met, but even if you know you haven't, this message is perfect because it opens the door for communication.”

Rather than being *that* person who hits on someone at the gym, sending a DM acknowledging their hard work might be a better approach. You just may become their swolemate.

Still working up the courage to shoot your shot IRL? Let a little keyboard courage take the lead. The worst they can say is no, and you can at least move on with your day knowing you tried.

Ouimet suggests relating to your crush by mentioning some of your shared interests. “This message is a great opener because it lets them know that you share something in common,” she tells Bustle. “It also comes off chill and not desperate while still opening the door for an opportunity to connect.”

A low-pressure date offer is a safe way to introduce the idea of hanging out together, especially when it’s attached to an exciting time for them. Plus, anyone can appreciate a congratulatory message on something they worked hard for.