If you’ve never had a one-night stand, then you don’t know just how precarious they can be. But is a one-night stand a bad idea ultimately? Well, that all depends on you. While some studies have found that one-night stands are great for men, but awful for women, other research has found that women love casual sex, whether it’s with someone who’s strictly a booty call, a f*ck buddy, or a one-night stand. For these women, this is the best way to get some when they’re just too busy for the drama that often comes with a relationship.
But while there are some of us who, at certain point in our lives (or even all our lives), can easily have a one-night stand like it’s NBD, there are still those out there who just can’t. It’s not a bad thing, of course. When you think about one-night stands, they’re not exactly easy if your head isn’t in the right place for them. They’re cold, lack emotion, and if you’re someone who gets attached even after just a make-out session that lasts more than 10 minutes, then they’re probably not the best candidate for a one-night stand. Of course, you could give it a try, and then decide, but that might be jumping into some icy waters that might not be all that fun.
So, instead of doing that, read this. Here are seven signs you’re not OK with having a one-night stand.
1. You’re Looking For Love
For some reason, women raise their standards when it comes to one-night stands, at least according to research. Whether this is because they’re hoping to make a few hours into a few years, or the think is if you’re going to get laid, it might as well be with someone super hot, I still feel like this needs to be said: If you’re looking for love, a long-term relationship, or a marriage proposal, do not go searching for it in a one-night stand. The term “one-night” should be a dead giveaway, but sometimes people just think they can somehow create something out of nothing.
2. You Get Emotionally Attached Too Easily
I have one friend in particular where all it takes is half a date and she’s smitten. I don’t know why, the guy could be a total douchebag, but if they have more than two things in common, she starts planning their wedding in her head. But thankfully, because she knows this about herself, she’s smart enough not to have one-night stands. Because, here’s the thing, if you fall in love at the drop of the hat, then you’ll definitely fall in love at the drop of your pants and you don’t want that. That makes for one hell of a mess.
Also, although this isn't the case for all women, a 2011 study found that sex can make women fall in love. So... yeah; definitely need to heed that warning right there, you emotional ladies of the world.
3. You’re Not Mentally In The Best Place
According to a 2008 study out of Durham University in England, while 80 percent of men felt awesome after a one-night stand, only 54 percent of women could say the same. Women who didn’t feel so great the next morning reported feelings of regret, disgust in themselves, and like they were used. In other words, if you’re already down in the dumps about stuff going on in your life, a one-night stand is likely to make you feel even worse.
4. You Know You’d Feel Rude Leaving Right Afterward
Here’s the deal: To have a proper one-night stand, you need to be kind of a dickhead. If you have it at your place, you need to have the gumption to tell them to leave right afterward. (You’re not a B&B and you won’t be serving breakfast.) If you happen to go their place, you need to be able to jump out of bed right afterwards and bolt for the door. If you know you just can’t do those things, then there’s another sign that a one-night stand just isn’t for you.
5. You’re Scared Of Being Judged
Unfortunately, we live in a world full of double standards. They are gross, they are sexist, misogynist, archaic, and solely exist to ruin a woman’s good time.
But, because these double standards do exist in our society, it’s sometimes hard not to sort of cave to them, and then before you know it you’re standing in the mirror judging yourself or scared that others are judging you. Although there is no shame in a one-night stand, because they're clearly the Walk of Awesome, if you know you can’t do it without feeling a pang of judgment for yourself, then skip it. Don’t put yourself through that when you probably have half a dozen vibrators at home.
6. You’re Pretty Certain You’ll Feel Unsafe
It can be fairly daunting heading off to someone’s apartment, someone you don’t know at all, or even having them at your place ― this is most especially the case for those of us who watch too much Law & Order: SVU. If you are one of those people, then you’re definitely not OK with having a one-night stand. The point of a one-night stand is to relax and have fun. You can’t relax and have fun, if you’re legitimately concerned that you’re going to be hacked into a million little pieces.
7. You Know You Have To Be In A Relationship To Truly Enjoy Sex
Female sexuality is so complicated! Unlike men who can easily, like very easily orgasm, it’s not quite the piece of cake for us that it is for them. Because of this, many women find sex more enjoyable when they’re in a relationship or are having sex with someone they know and trust. If you’re one of those women, and you know you’re not even going to enjoy sex with a stranger, why bother? You have plenty of other things you could be doing with your time ― like eating pizza and watching Broad City for the fifteenth time.
Want more of Bustle's Sex and Relationships coverage? Check out our video where Bustle staffers try to guess what these five sex toys are:
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