The Best Positions For 6 Common Sexual Issues

According to sexual experts, cowgirl is the best position for combatting pain during sex. “It’s best for the woman to go on top as she will have control over how deep the penetration will go,” says registered sexologist and relationship therapist Becky Crepsley-Fox, who adds that it’s key for the vulva and vagina to be warmed up ahead of penetration to prevent further discomfort. “Adding extra bottled lubrication will help with this,” she says.

Spooning was also voted to be one of the most helpful positions for this — namely, because the butt provides a “buffer” to make sure the penetration isn’t too deep or intense for the receiver, says couples and sex therapist Heather Huckett. One of the many perks of being bootylicious.

Spooning can be a great way to help the penetrating partner have more control over their movement, and therefore how quickly they climax. “It gives you a great deal of control, optimal skin-to-skin contact, a good amount of blood flow to the penis, and because of the angle and shallow thrust, it slows down the ability to go too quickly,” says certified sex therapist Chamin Ajjan.

Missionary is also great for this issue. “When men begin to notice that they are getting close, they can slow down, control the rate of thrust, and ask their partner to ‘just be with me’ while they focus on breathing and reducing the intensity of nearing ejaculation,” says Joseph Winn,certified sex therapist and supervisor of sex therapy.

According to the survey, people with vulvas need clitoral stimulation during sex. In this case, try cowgirl. “It allows the woman to move in a way that offers natural rubbing of the clitoris against her partner’s body, as well as the possibility of using fingers or toys to offer additional stimulation,” says clinical sexologist Alexandria Saunders.

Using a toy — like a vibrator — is great when you’re in this position, but certified sex therapist Amanda Pasciucco also recommends taking time to “warm-up” with that toy or oral sex before you get right to it so that your crown jewel is ready to play. Also helpful? Doggy style can offer easier access to the clitoral tissue.

Experts from the survey believe that doggy style is the best sex position for a stronger erection. Psychotherapist and sex therapist Kate Klein says that getting a view of the penis thrusting in and out can definitely turn them on — and get them hard. “Doggy style also allows the insertive partner to stay relaxed, and the position is less likely to obstruct blood flow to penis than the previous positions,” adds licensed clinical psychologist and certified sex therapist Alex Tatum.

Reverse cowgirl can also be useful since the position allows more blood flow to the penis.

Another common sexual issue: achieving deeper penetration. Doggy style has obvious benefits for the inserting partner, and the angle and leverage given by their positioning gives them way more access and control to thrust deeper. Butterfly, however, is a hidden secret for the job. In this position, certified sex therapist Jessica Rubenstein says that the closeness of the hips and legs will help penetration feel much deeper.

If missionary is more your vibe, try using a wedge pillow (like the Liberator Wedge) to change the angle of insertion and go even deeper. This is also a great option for people who experience pain or discomfort in their joints, or on their back, or for accessibility in disabled partners.

If more intimacy is what you’re looking for, try the lotus position. “The man sits while the woman straddles his hips while they are facing one another,” explains sex therapist Sarah Sepolio. “The man cannot thrust too quickly — it forces him to slow down, thrusting in sync with his partner all while staring into each other’s eyes.” There’s a major plus for the receiving partner, too, because both deeper penetration and clitoral or other types of stimulation — like neck kissing or breast play — are made easy in the lotus.

Missionary also has the benefit of close contact, which can be a great way to slow down and connect with your partner.