Relationships
"Hey, let's swap secrets."
If you've been using dating apps for a while now, chances are you've received more cringe-worthy opening lines than you can count. From the other angle you've also, perhaps, sent a few awkward ones yourself. It’s so hard to land on the perfect opening line for Hinge — or any other dating app, for that matter.
While you don't want to come on weirdly strong, you also don't want to swing too far the other way and blend in with the crowd. “Online dating has provided people with an abundance of choice,” Jonathan Bennett, a certified counselor and relationship expert at Double Trust Dating, tells Bustle. “You need a way to show that you’re unique and have a distinct personality. That’s where the first message becomes important.”
According to a spokesperson for Hinge, you'll also want to say something that can lead into a conversation. “Hey” may feel like a safe bet, but let’s be real: it won't make you stand out, and it’s a super generic message that’s easy to ignore. Instead, consider asking fun, open-ended questions that can help you get to know each other.
For some inspiration, take a peek below at some casual and cool opening lines that will lead to a good back and forth — and hopefully an even better first date.
1
“I see you're from Tuscaloosa. What was it like growing up there?”
Asking someone where they're from opens the door to sharing more detail about your personal lives. Use this as your opening line, and soon you'll be yapping about state fairs or what it was like to ride to school on the subway.
2
“Tell me more about the last time you cried happy tears!”
Hinge does help get the conversation started by offering profile questions, like “the last time I cried happy tears was…” So you can always pull from one of them, and ask for more info.
Plus, this line will give you some insight into their personal life, which can spark even more conversations.
3
“What was the best part of your week?”
Not only is this a thoughtful question, but it also gives you some insight into your potential date’s day-to-day, and their overall attitude and view of life.
Their response won't give you all the answers you're looking for, but asking about someone's week and what they've enjoyed so far is kind, specific, and shows you are interested in what they've been up to.
4
“Your job seems cool! How’d you get into it?”
There are so many different occupations out there, and the person you want to hit up might have a lot to say about the work they do, like why — or if — they are really interested in it, and how long they've been involved.
Not to mention, they might share a whole story as to how they got where they are today, which can reveal a lot about their likes and dislikes, and their character. Plus, it’s another one of those questions that could lead to you sharing about your life and work as well.
5
“Does your dog have an IG? My terrier Lola wants to follow her.”
When you’re trying to connect with someone new, poke around their profile and try to start a conversation around something they might want to talk about. “What dog-loving parent doesn’t want to wax poetic about their cute pooch?” dating coach and matchmaker, Emyli Lovz tells Bustle. “Once you tell them about your furry child you’re just a message away from a doggy play date.”
6
“I love your artwork!”
Or their interior design style, garden — whatever catches your eye.
If there is a picture where a person has displayed some of their creative work, and you like it, don't be bashful about letting them know. It's a good way to open a deeper conversation, as well as extend some flattery.
Flattery never hurts, especially when it doesn't seem shallow or simply connected to the way someone looks. Move past all that, my friends. It will be sure to win over some hearts.
7
“I've been to the Kunsthistorisches Musem in Vienna, too! How'd you like the trip?”
People often post pictures of themselves on vacation somewhere cool, or doing something they like to do. Whether it's lying on the beach, white-water rafting, horseback riding through the desert, or enjoying a nice audio-tour of a famous art museum, asking about someone's trips is a fun way to talk about their interests and memories.
Not to mention, it's the perfect way to share a few stories of your own for an instant bonding sesh, too.
8
“You seem like a big outdoors person! Where's a good hiking spot around here?”
If this person has multiple pictures on mountaintops, or hanging from ravines, use that to start a conversation about their love of Mother Nature.
Perhaps the two of you can enjoy a stroll through a local park, or relax on a bench by a lake. It's kind of a "hello" and a date idea all rolled into one.
9
“What was your first AIM screen name?”
Depending on your generation, consider asking the other person about an old screen name or their first Insta handle to get a sense of who they were when they were younger.
The answer is probably going to be pretty funny, and it’s an automatic green flag if they’re able to have a sense of humor about it. Bonus points if they are still using the same name as their handle or email address today.
10
“Quick, what's your phone background?”
Just quickly take a screenshot and send it and ask them to do the same, Krysta Monet, a relationship expert, tells Bustle. Is it a pic of a family member? An album cover? An abstract painting? A meme of some kind? There's a lot to learn from the image someone sees every single time they open their phone.
View this unique little detail as a sneak peek into this person's psychology. You might be surprised as to what impressions this simple request might make when the two of you exchange these pics.
11
“Make a story out of emojis”
Perhaps you are more of a visual communicator, and maybe your Hinge match is, too. So what if you tried to ask someone on a date using only emojis?
Think the ice cream emoji plus one of two people holding hands equals the cat with hearts in the eyes, or two people plus the sunset equals a heart.
12
“Congrats on having the worst date fail I’ve seen on Hinge.”
Another profile question on Hinge asks about one’s biggest date fail, so if your match chooses to tell their story on their profile, feel free to ask about it.
13
“Did you have a family nickname growing up?”
Buzz. Jimbo. Peaches. Junebug. A nickname is cute, or embarrassing, or funny, and of course, is a great avenue into a longer explanation.
In fact, it might make a person feel a little vulnerable (in a good way) and may even lay the groundwork for other childhood stories.
14
“What was the last song you listened to?”
You don’t need to have the same taste in music to get along, but preferred genres and artists can say a lot about a person.
15
“What's your most played song on Spotify?”
Music is the key to a person's soul, in one way or another. Or, at the very least, it gives you insight on what they like to dance to.
If you’re going to use this as your opening line, though, remember not to be judgmental. Just ask what about the songs they like, what genres they listen to, and if they have any special memories attached to the tune. Who knows, maybe you’ll end up trading playlists.
16
“Pop quiz! Is mint chocolate chip ice cream over or underrated?”
On the surface, this is a fun way to start talking about food — and to potentially set yourselves up for a first date. But deep down, it's a test. If you can’t see eye-to-eye, it might help give you some clarity on whether or not it’s meant to be. That, or they’ll help open up your mind.
17
“Would you rather...”
Come up with a fun "would you rather" scenario and throw it their way. This type of question is fun and light-hearted, but it’s also a great way to start learning fun facts about each other, right off the bat.
18
“You said you make the perfect breakfast burrito? I need details...”
If they've listed some impressive skills — like the ability to make a perfect breakfast burrito — that's your in. Ask for their recipe, or what their secret is. Bonus points if you can somehow spin it into a first date.
19
“Quick! What movie should I watch tonight?”
This is a cute way to make them feel connected to you right out of the gate, because movie recommendations are serious business.
20
“I'm also a drummer! How long have you been playing?”
Pinpointing a hobby that you have in common is a great place to start, so do yourself a favor and scroll through their profile thoroughly before reaching out. The more specific you can make your opening line, the better.
21
“What does your ideal Sunday look like? If it involves soccer and mini golf I’m in.”
Naturally, open-ended questions are more likely to get you a response than statements. “This question is perfect because their response will tell you quite a bit about their personality,” Lovz says. It also gives you a chance to reveal a little bit about yours, too.
22
“Hey, let’s swap secrets.”
If you want to make a bold, flirty first move, this is a great one to start with. As Lovz says, “If there’s one thing Hinge users lack, it’s originality. Show them you’re one of a kind with this opener.” It’s the type of opener that shows you’re confident. If there’s a mutual attraction, this could lead to an interesting back and forth exchange that eventually leads to a first date.
23
“Before we get to know each other, I just need to put it out there that I will kill all the spiders for you.”
This is another playful opener from Lovz. For the most part, no one wants to be caught alone in a room with a spider. “Knowing you would be their knight in shining armor is a great and playful way to open,” she says. “Just don’t use this line if they have a pet tarantula.”
On the flip side, if you’re looking for someone to smash spiders for you, feel free to include that in your opening line as well. It’s going to come up eventually — you might as well get it out of the way.
24
“What’s a restaurant you always recommend to friends?”
If you’re courting a foodie, chances are they’ll have some pretty good restaurant recs to share. And if they’re good at picking up signals, they’ll take your question as a hint to make a reservation for two ASAP.
25
“I need your opinion on something…”
Sharing your spiciest hot takes right off the bat can be a great way to bond. Not only are you giving the other person some insight into how your mind works, but if they can play along and back you up, take that as a sign that they’re down for just about anything.
26
“That beach looks really nice! Where were you?”
Asking for more details regarding their profile is a simple yet effective way to stand out. And if it doesn’t work out between you two, at last you got a travel recommendation out of it.
27
“I need to know: what made you swipe right?”
Don’t be afraid to be bold on Hinge. If they really like you, they’ll take this opportunity to shower you with compliments – just like you deserve.
28
“What should I make for dinner tonight?”
If you want to make a lasting impression, asking a question that has nothing to do with their profile is a surefire way to do so. And with a query like this, you’re basically setting the other person up to ask you out to dinner.
29
“I hope you don’t have any rules about waiting to introduce your cat to your dates, because I *need* to meet him/her.”
Pets are a great excuse to schedule a meet up with a fellow animal lover. Your fur baby needs socialization, after all.
30
“I think the lie is…”
Hinge also has a “two truths and a lie” prompt that allows users to share some fun facts about themselves while also making a game out of it. If the person you swiped right on has this prompt listed on their profile, use it as a reason to slide into their DMs.
31
“Quick! What’s the last movie that made you cry?”
Being on Hinge is deeply vulnerable on its own, so why not lean into the sensitivity with a question about crying?
32
“What’s something you’re looking forward to this week?”
It’s always good to start things off on a positive note, and a question like this can also help speed things up and get a date on the books within seven days.
33
“Love your music taste! Do you have any playlist recommendations?”
Swapping playlists is the modern-day version of making a mixtape for your crush – and it still works like a charm.
34
“It looks like you’re a big sports fan. Which teams do you follow?”
If this person is (potentially) going to be in your life, you’re gonna need to know what fanbases they’re a part of ahead of time, otherwise you may find yourself rooting for dueling teams.
35
“Your dog is so cute! What breed is he/she?”
If you can’t have a meet-cute at a dog park, at least you can bond over your love of canines on Hinge.
36
“I’ve been dying to go to (insert restaurant/museum/destination)! How was it?”
A neutral question like this can help ease you both into the conversation, and allows you to bond over a shared interest of art, culture, or food.
37
“I can’t believe you went skydiving. What was it like?”
Let’s be real: They wouldn’t have included an unflattering photo of them free-falling from 10,000 feet in the air if they didn’t want someone to ask about it.
38
“What are some of your guilty pleasures?”
Hey, everyone has them, so you might as well own them.
39
“It seems like you travel a lot. What’s next on your bucket list?”
There’s no faster way to an adventurer’s heart than asking them about their dream destinations.
40
“Got any plans this week? I’d love to meet up sometime.”
When in doubt, a straightforward message that cuts right to the chase is all it takes to win over a Hinge match. It ensures that the talking stage won’t drag on, and if the other person has multiple interested parties, it can help to make you stand out among the rest.
41
"Tell me, what's your go-to karaoke song?"
This question offers a more creative way of asking about their musical taste, as it gives them room to share an oldie or a silly song they love to sing. Plus, if they seem to be fans of karaoke, it’s the perfect opportunity to suggest a date idea.
42
"What's the best book you've read recently?”
Not only does this give you a sense of their interests, but it’s a possible recommendation to add to your list, too.
43
“I need to know: What’s your go-to pizza topping?”
A lighthearted question that can spark a debate or shared love for pepperoni. Plus, if you’ve got a favorite pizza spot, it’s a natural way to show them the best slice in town.
44
“Do you have any hidden talents?”
An easy question that leaves tons of room for follow-ups, including a challenge for them prove it IRL.
45
“What are your most recently used emoji?”
An easy icebreaker that gives you a better sense of their personality, and leaves tons of room for conversation.
46
“What’s a motto you live by?”
Hearing someone’s motto tells you a lot about their mindset and leaves you room to ask more about how it came to be and the times it’s come in handy for them.
47
“How do you relax after a long day?”
If their profile isn’t giving you much to work with, this question gives you room to find common interests, whether it’s TV shows or workouts.
48
“What’s the best dish you make?”
A fun question that can easily lead to “I’ll make it for you sometime.”
It's tough to know how to get a convo going with a stranger, but "if you can say something funny or personal (e.g. based on a bio), it will increase your chances of getting a response," Bennett says. Try out one or two of these opening lines, and chances are you'll have a packed social calendar in no time.
Experts:
Jonathan Bennett, certified counselor and relationship expert
Krysta Monet, relationship expert
Emyli Lovz, dating coach and matchmaker
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