40 Ways To Initiate An Actually Good Conversation On A Dating App

How a person answers this will tell you a lot about them. Will they make a joke or do they take themselves very seriously? Also, a little glimmer into their music taste is always helpful.

Not only does this question let you get to know them, but the contrast between how they describe themselves and what their friends would say can be very interesting.

It's important to get down to the hard-hitting political issues, right from the start. Better to see if your ideals are aligned now rather than later.

Most anyone with experience online dating has had some humdingers, so this will likely give you a chance to trade some dating app stories.

If you're someone who loves to travel, then getting an idea of where they like to go is a great way to start the conversation and gauge compatibility.

Sometimes you have to give to get. Sharing an awkward event from your life can help the other person feel more comfortable opening up to you about a funny or embarrassing experience.

The answer to this question may define the rest of your life — best to get it out early. You can also tell a lot about a person based on their taste in food.

As long as the answer isn’t any of the characters from Succession, you’re probably in the clear.

If you want to cut right to the chase about what the other person might be interested in and get the ball rolling, ask them why they said yes.

This question divides friendship groups, lovers, and countries (probably). Learn if they're going to dig out all of the cookie dough or save some of it for you. Find out now, before it's too late.

Get some insight into whether or not you're going to fight over the remote — and maybe you'll even get some good recommendations out of it.

If you're an avid reader (or just want to look like one), start out the conversation on a literary note.

If you're a Game of Thrones fan (or a House Of The Dragon fan), this will be a great way to learn more about their personality.

Being an early bird or a night owl can make a big difference in a relationship — just ask anyone who's shared a bed with someone of a different sleep chronotype. Seeing how they tackle their mornings can also be a fun way to learn more about them.

There are a lot of different dating apps out there, so finding out why they went with this particular choice can help you understand what they're looking for and see if you're on the same page.

A good way to set the scene for things to come. Plus, getting a sense of their dating style can be really useful.

Getting to see what celebrities someone is at least mildly interested in can be very telling about what kind of pop culture they’re consuming and their interests.

This one's a great choice when you're interested but want them to take the lead. If you’re used to sending out opening lines, sometimes it’s fun to sit back and let others take the first leap.

Depending on your work schedule, Sunday is often the day of no ties and no obligations, where you can totally design the day how you want. Getting an idea of what they like to do can be really telling.

Whether they're a recent Twitter or TikTok meme, or a classic "This is fine." meme, you'll get a sense of how they view themselves, as well as their type of humor.

Get some insight into their personality. Nicknames are normally there for a reason, and they tend to stem from a great story.

This is another conversation opener where it can help to give a little first. Simply share an embarrassing story and see what comes back.

They might go full-out while trying to save the world, or they might hide out and eat pizza and pleasure themselves for three days. Either way, it can kick off a fun convo.

This was an actual message someone was sent, and we can all only hope that they lived happily ever after.

If they can only name one or two, follow up by asking what they like to cook. And just like that, you'll have a first date idea.

A classic premise taken from a party icebreaker game, this line gives them the chance to tell you what they think of you just based on your pictures and bio, which can be very illuminating and, hopefully, amusing.

This is basically a creative way to ask what someone’s favorite movie is without sounding like a drag. And maybe it can even lead to a movie night date.

Knowing someone’s favorite karaoke song is incredibly revealing. If they don’t have one at all? Red flag. Not to mention, this line sets you up perfectly to suggest a karaoke meetup.

Their answer to this will reveal A. what kind of shows they’re into, B. what their general interests are, and C. if they’re competitive or not.

Everyone loves a little two-way guessing game. And if you’re not into alcohol, just sub in the words “coffee order,” “bagel order,” or whatever feels right to you.

Use a standout detail from their profile for an easy conversation starter. Dating coach Alison Marie tells Bustle, “Starting off a message like this not only is flattering to the person receiving it, but also shows an attractive level of confidence.” You know what you like, and you aren’t afraid to go after it.

“If someone's idea of an adventure is a camping trip while another person’s is traveling to different countries and staying in five star hotels, there might be little compatibility,” Marie says. “But if you bond over experiences and have similar interests, this can help spark a connection and deepen conversation.”

According to Marie, “Getting an idea of someone's first date is a fun way to open the conversation and see what they like to do.” Bonus points if you have similar answers — you’ll have an easy plan for your first outing together.

This demonstrates both confidence and a mutual interest to connect with, Marie explains. We all know how invested pet parents can get, so if you both have dogs, go for it!

Marie recommends this message to get a sense of your matches personal values, and see if they align with yours. On dating apps, it’s easy to bond over a mutual love of Rick and Morty, but that doesn’t exactly set you up for long-term success. Asking deep, meaningful questions like this right off the bat will help weed out matches who aren’t a good fit.

Emojis keep things light — but also interesting. Whatever three they choose opens up a ton of room for conversation as you’ll get a sense for their interests and personality.

Similar to above, this question is a low-lift, fun way to get a sense of their interests, and it leads to a ton of follow up questions.

If you want to skip the small talk and head into a silly debate, see how they feel about this (very important) topic that leaves a ton of room for banter.

Here’s a quick way to lighten the mood and bond over sharing potentially embarrassing things about yourselves.