TikTok Users Are Debating If Close Friends Stories Are Considered Flirting

When drama starts online, very rarely does the discourse transcend the platform it originated on and become a viral moment across the internet. But it happened in November when TikTok user @kelly_kim, whose real name is Kelly, shared why she had to cut off an ex-friend “cold turkey.” Of course, this prompted the ex-bestie in question, @joannayeonlee (aka Jo), to respond with her side of the story, and viewers have some thoughts on the situation.

TikTok Close Friends Drama, Explained

There’s a lot to dissect about this story, so here’s a brief rundown of the drama in case you missed anything. While filming a GRWM on Nov. 7, Kelly spilled the tea about all the “ridiculous things that this girl who claimed to be a ‘girl’s girl’” did to her, starting with the fact that Jo added Kelly’s future beau to her Instagram Close Friends Story not long after meeting him. They weren’t dating at the time, but Kelly says “everyone knew [they] were into each other.” To some, this alone sounded like a breach of girl code.

Kelly also alleges that Jo swiftly began posting “attention traps” on Close Friends after adding him, and seemed to imply that the “random TMIs” she shared may have been an attempt to catch his eye. That said, Kelly did clarify that Jo wasn’t posting traditional thirst traps.

According to Kelly, the next offense Jo committed took place after she borrowed a hoodie from her BF one night. Per the creator, Jo wore the sweatshirt for the next two weeks and posted “all about it on social media.” Hmmm...

Along with other red flags like “spending hours getting ready to see him” and disclosing to their mutual friend that he’s cute and could see herself “getting along with him,” there was also an incident in which Kelly alleges that Jo got him a sandwich she knew he liked. More on this later.

Though Kelly never mentioned Jo by name, the TikTok has garnered over 4.7 million views as of Nov. 28, so it was only a matter of time before her ex-bestie saw the viral video. That’s how the FYP cookie crumbles.

Feeling emboldened to tell her side, Jo posted a response on Nov. 16 to clear up the “misconceptions.” First, she shares that she didn’t just add Kelly’s BF to her Close Friends the night they met — she added everyone they hung out with.

“We all kind of became comfortable with each other, and obviously if I’m comfortable with you I’m just gonna add you to my Close Friends,” says Jo. “It’s really not a big deal.” The creator also says that Close Friends doesn’t “mean a lot” to her, which sure, is a Close Friends take that not everyone is going to agree with, but comfort is definitely key when letting people into your digital inner circle.

What’s An “Attention Trap” On Instagram?

Next, she addresses the alleged attention traps, saying, “I don’t know what she was referring to, because if [they were] attention traps, why would she also be on the Close Friends? If I just wanted that to be an attention trap, I would only add guys I’m trying to get at.” Fair point.

As for the sweatshirt, Jo simply says she’s “notorious for not giving back hoodies,” though she did admit that she held onto this one longer than usual because “it was really cute.” No one can resist the power of a cute hoodie.

Lastly, Jo clarified the events of SandwichGate, claiming that she got the food for Kelly’s boyfriend as an “expression of [her] gratitude” for helping mount a TV in her bedroom. Kelly and Jo were roommates at the time and the three of them mounted the TV together.

“I handed her the sandwich,” Jo recalls. “If I really cared about me getting him the sandwich because it was for him, I would have wanted to hand it to him. But I didn’t care, it was just a form of expression. I would have done this for anyone else.” Some say the fastest way to someone’s heart is through their stomach, but this does seem pretty harmless, TBH.

Should Your Bestie & Partner Be BFFs?

Understandably, the story of this friendship breakup has caused a lot of discourse online. The drama inspired many viewers to pick a side, with some sympathizing with Kelly and others standing with Jo.

“Everything you mentioned was subtle but WEIRD you were right for cutting her off,” TikTok user @valeria.elizabeth commented on Kelly’s video. “Honestly I feel like this [was] just misinterpreted and instead of communicating how she felt, she decided to cut you off,” @_level19_ wrote underneath Jo’s post.

The conversation didn’t just play out in the TikTok comments, though. The drama made it all the way over to X (formerly Twitter), and it looks like users seem to think pals and partners shouldn’t be friends at all.

“A friend’s boyfriend is not my friend... that is a coworker at best,” says X user @chismosavirus. “Hate to keep dragging the discourse but i have no desire to be cool with my friend’s boyfriend, you’re not my friend you’re on my watchlist,” posted @diamoore_. “My friend trusts me to be around her boyfriend because i’m basically her scary father he’s forced to bond with to earn my respect,” says @ghoulhag. Honestly, they’re not wrong.

Of course, not everyone shares this point of view. “I guess I’m alone in the fact that I love for my best friends to befriend my boyfriend,” wrote @eatraelove. “This is how you build your village. If you befriend or date people with boundary issues, there’s a bigger problem on your hands.” Another great point.

Is Close Friends That Deep?

Despite the fact that the saga unfolded on the FYP, the drama all started on Instagram when Jo added Kelly’s boyfriend to her Close Friends. According to a survey previously taken by over 130 Bustle readers, 26.5% agree that Close Friends is only for IRL besties and “people who pass the vibe check.” It’s worth noting that 54.5% don’t use Close Friends at all, so that number is actually a sizable percentage.

Meanwhile, the 9.1% who claim to have pretty lenient Close Friends standards would probably be team Jo in all of this. But, FWIW, one respondent said Close Friends Stories are for “IRL close friends and crushes” so there could be an argument made for either side of this viral debate. No matter which ex-bestie you’re siding with, there’s one thing we might all be able to agree on: Never borrow a hoodie unless you plan to give it back ASAP. Unless it’s cute, I guess.