Here’s How Long You Should Be Hugging Your Partner For Peak Intimacy

Keeping intimacy alive in your relationship doesn’t have to be hard. With simple tactics like kissing your partner for six seconds and synchronizing your breathing, there are plenty of ways to improve intimacy that don’t involve breaking out the Kama Sutra (although that never hurts, either). Hugging acts as a great intimacy builder, too, especially if you hold the embrace for an extended amount of time. If you want to feel even closer to your other half, here’s how long you should be hugging your partner for peak intimacy.

Get ready to start timing your embraces, because according to Psychology Today, hugging your significant other for 20 seconds can be extremely beneficial for your relationship. Not only do these long hugs help create a bond between a couple, but 20-second hugs can also stimulate the production of oxytocin, a hormone known as the “love hormone” that’s associated with sexual arousal and relationship building, per Cleveland Clinic. This practice doesn’t just benefit people in relationships, though, because studies have found that 20-second hugs can also decrease cortisol levels (the hormone connected to stress) and release serotonin and dopamine (two neurotransmitters that have ties to pleasure and happiness) as well.

To feel the full effects of the intimacy hack, don’t be afraid to give the other person an extra squeeze. According to hypnosis expert Emilie Leyes (@emilieleyes.hypnosis on TikTok), the pressure of the squeeze can be felt by the autonomic nervous system, a part of the peripheral nervous system that controls heart rate, blood pressure, and more, per the National Library of Medicine. As a result, your body will not only feel more relaxed but also help you feel “comfortable and safe” with the person you’re hugging — which is a big plus when building intimacy.

If you want to feel the benefits of a 20-second hug but don’t have anyone to embrace, there’s no need to fret, because hugging a pillow for the same amount of time can have the same positive effects, too. Leyes claims you can even hug yourself to achieve the same results, which means you can use the simple hack to boost your serotonin and lower your cortisol levels pretty much whenever you need.

“Wrap your arms around yourself, squeeze really tightly, and take some deep breaths as you do it,” recommends the creator. To take it a step further, you can also caress your shoulders or your arms to enhance the effects of this “self-soothing” and “anxiety-reducing” technique, Leyes says.