Since April 28, Mercury has been retrograde — which can leave your love life and relationships a little out of whack, to put it mildly. This time around, Mercury went retrograde while four other planets were already in it, making for a perfect astrological storm. Psychic Deborah Graham's clients have definitely been feeling it, she tells Bustle. Suddenly, she's getting an influx of calls from people either reconsidering their relationships or realizing their partners are. What's going on, and how can we stop it from ruining our love lives?
Graham may be best known for her role on TLC's "The Psychic Matchmaker" and her book Get Your Head Out of Your App: A Psychic's Guide to Attracting and Keeping True Love, but she's also an astrologer. So, she's been busy advising her clients on dealing with the unique challenges the currently planetary motions bring.
Mercury retrograde is challenging in every area of our lives, mainly because it affects our ability to communicate. It's a terrible time to start a new job, buy electronics, or sign any sort of contract, Graham says. That also means it's going to create certain hurdles in your relationships. But with these adjustments, you can overcome them. But first, check out the latest episode of Bustle's Sex and Relationships podcast, I Want It That Way:
1. Try Not To Start Anything New
This is a bad time to make any big changes in your love life, like getting engaged, married, or divorced, Graham says. Of course, that doesn't mean that if someone asks you for your number, you shouldn't give it out. Just expect the resulting date to go a little less smoothly than it otherwise would, and take it slow because chances are, not much will come of it until after the retrograde period ends on May 22.
2. Communicate The Old-Fashioned Way
Since Mercury retrograde leaves us prone to miscommunications, text misunderstandings will be plentiful. During this time, it's better to meet people in real life than it is to meet on a dating app. It's also preferable to pick up the phone (the horror!) and call your date or prospective date rather than text them. And if you need to confront your significant other about something, do not do it in writing. The technical difficulties could be disastrous.
3. Resist The Allure Of Your Exes
Any urge to reunite with an ex should be taken with a grain of salt during this time, since that's just part of the planet's pull. This is a good time to reevaluate your current relationship and reflect on your past ones, but don't make any impulsive moves. And do not Facebook-stalk your exes. I repeat: step away from the computer.
4. Seriously, Though, Chill Out.
Chances are, you're experiencing the urge to get your panties in a knot over a current, past, or potential future relationship. Don't. It won't get you anywhere right now. If it seems like something new might be around the corner, keep it casual. If you're suddenly having doubts about your relationship, sit on them for a while. In short, Graham says, "don't get too serious and don't overanalyze." If you're just feeling all the feels and just can't contain them, write your emotions down, but don't share them. Then, at the end of the retrograde period, flush them down the toilet to clear those negative feelings from you life.
5. Invest In Your Personal Growth
It might feel like all your fears are coming to the surface right now, but that could actually be a good thing, says Graham. Your unconscious becomes conscious during Mercury retrograde, which means you can address problems you might have pushed under the rug. Graham recommends spending time in nature, meditating, forgiving people you've been holding grudges toward, and taking care of your physical health.
"It's like we're going through a hurricane," she says. "This is cleansing. We're going to a higher frequency." You're bound to feel a bit confused during this time of reflection. But the clouds in this cosmological storm have a silver lining: "At the end of the retrograde period, the truth with come out."
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