We’re always hearing that we could be having better sex, a better orgasm, or a better relationship. But how often do we hear the nitty-gritty of how we can actually better understand our deepest desires and most embarrassing questions? Bustle has enlisted Vanessa Marin, a sex therapist, to help us out with the details. No gender, sexual orientation, or question is off-limits, and all questions remain anonymous. Now, onto today’s topic: the best sex positions for guys who are on the smaller side.
Q: My partner isn’t the most well-endowed guy. I’m looking for sex positions that would work for someone with a smaller penis. Sometimes he’ll slip out, and other times I just can’t feel much.
I would also love some tips for how to suggest these positions without saying they’re specifically for small guys! I know he’s aware of the fact that he’s on the small side, but I don’t want to hurt his feelings.
A: Thanks for the question! There are an infinite number of sex positions, so you can definitely find some that are better suited to the combination of you and your partner’s bodies. In general, what works best for men who are on the smaller side are positions that allow him to penetrate as deeply as possible. If you’re not feeling much on your end, you also want to try out positions where you can keep your legs close together. This will help create a tighter fit and more sensation.
When it comes to making these suggestions, I think it’s best to bring them up in the context of trying new things in the bedroom, rather than trying to address the issue of him being small. Size is an extremely sensitive subject for most men, so it’s best to be as delicate as you can. If you show him this article, he’ll know you’re specifically recommending the position because he’s small. Instead, I’d recommend looking at the graphics and descriptions of the positions below, then trying to find pictures of similar positions using Google image search. Tell him that you saw this position in a movie, or a girlfriend recommended it.
Now let’s get to the positions!
Butterfly
How to do it: Lie down on your bed or a table, and have him approach you while standing. His crotch should be a little higher than yours (you’ll have to find a piece of furniture that’s the right height for this one). Have him crouch down and penetrate you. Slowly lift your legs up, one at a time, and rest your ankles on his shoulders. Your hips should move up a few inches into the air. He can help support you by cupping your butt or hips. For an even tighter fit, he can grab both of your ankles in his hand. You can use pillows under your hips to help get at a better angle for your bodies.
Why it works: This position creates really deep stimulation that will feel great for both of you. It’s an acrobatic, adventurous position, and won’t make either of you feel like anything’s lacking!
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X Marks The Spot
How to do it: This is a variation of Butterfly that’s worth it’s own description! Lay back on a table or bed, but this time, you want your pelvises to be at about the same height. Have him penetrate you, then raise your legs up in the air. Cross your legs at the ankles and rest your feet against his chest. He can get some leverage by holding onto your shins.
Why it works: Crossing your legs makes for an incredibly tight fit. Having your pelvises at the same height maximizes the depth. This one is a real winner!
Tighter Doggy Style
How to do it: You’re probably familiar with this old standby! Get on your hands and knees, and have him enter you from behind while he kneels. In traditional doggy style, the man’s legs are usually in between the woman’s. The best variation for guys who are a little smaller is to have the woman hold her legs together and have the man spread his legs further apart, resting outside of hers. This creates an even tighter fit.
Why it works: Doggy style is a great position, regardless of penis size. Your bodies are angled nicely for him to hit your G-spot. This area is much closer to the vaginal opening than most people think, so shallow penetration can actually feel just as good as deep penetration.
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The Splitter
How to do it: Lie on your back. Have your partner kneel in front of you, straddling one of your outstretched legs. Take the other leg and lift it up into the air, resting it on his chest or shoulder.
Why it works: This position allows him to get in nice and deep. Being on his knees give him good control, so he can make the most out of each thrust.
Legs Up
How to do it: Lie on your back, and have your partner kneel in front of you. Have him enter you, then hold on to your hips as you lift your legs up to rest on his shoulders. From there, he can lean over and rest his weight on his hands, bending your legs backwards towards your head.
You’ll want to communicate about how much flexibility you have! If your legs can’t bend back that far or you’re feeling too much pressure on your lower back, have him stay on his knees. For a different angle of penetration, try bending your legs and resting your feet on his chest.
Why it works: Your bodies are lined up nicely for deep penetration. The added pressure of his weight bearing down into you can make you feel that more filled-up, engulfed feeling that you’re looking for.
The Sofa Brace
How to do it: Both of you get on your knees, with him behind you (having some pillows under your knees helps if you don’t have carpet). Drape your body over the edge of a sofa, so you’re bent at the hips. He can keep his torso upright, or bend over a bit with you. This can be a fun position to try in other areas of your house, like on a staircase or against a bed.
Why it works: Rear entry is always great for maximizing penetration, and this more upright position doesn’t disappoint. In this position, your bodies will be pressed up against each other’s, and he can easily reach down to stroke your clitoris. Always a plus.
Have fun!
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