The time has come for the women of The Bachelor to come together and "tell all," and I am arguably more excited about this episode than the finale episode when Chris professes his love to Whitney or Becca. On past Bachelor: Women Tell All episodes, Chris Harrison has asked the women questions about moments of the season that fans seemed to react to the most, allowing the women to either explain, defend, or talk themselves into a corner (love that!). Because this season felt almost like a parody season of The Bachelor (you've got competition, Burning Love), I don't think Chris Harrison will have any issue coming up with questions to ask the women, but in case he does, I've compiled a list for him to reference.
At this point in the show, I don't really care who Chris picks, and I don't think Chris does either. I'm more interested in knowing what the deal is with the rejected/scorned/better-off-because-they're-not-living-in-Iowa women that will be present for the Women Tell All. This is the episode for the women to get that final 15-minutes of screen time before they slowly fade into the background and try and become Instagram famous, or get put on some "celebrity" based VH1 show. So let's give them that limelight while they still deserve it, and ask them these hard hitting questions.
Did Anyone Really Want To Live In Iowa?
I'm looking at you, Britt, but the question stands for the entire group of gals. Now that they're safe from the cornfields, let's call a spade a spade and stop pretending that Arlington, Iowa is the mecca of all things fabulous. It's not. There's more people in my Sims game from fifth-grade than there are in Arlington.
Was Ashley S. Trying To Get Clips For Her Acting Reel?
For those that wondered if Ashley S. was crazy (or on drugs), the producers of The Bachelor don't just pick women who are lingering on Hollywood Blvd. trying to fit their hands into Shirley Temple's handprints at the TCL Chinese Theater. These women have to go through a screening process, and if the producers were actually concerned about Ashley S.'s mental state, she probably wouldn't have made it on the show. With that said, I'm wondering what community theater production she's going to be starring in now that the show is over.
Does Britt Want To Talk About The Showering?
I don't think Britt needs to address this, because girlfriend's hair looked better than anyone else's this entire season and if that means not showering for two weeks, then so be it. But, they made such a big deal out of it on the show that I'm sure it is going to be some type of "Let's take a look" montage that Chris Harrison uses to fill up time, so maybe Britt will be forced to talk about her showering habits.
How Will Kelsey Address Her "Amazing" Story?
Also read as: How many times will Kelsey blame the editing of the show for making her seem so awful?
Will Lashley Cry? Does She Ever Not Cry? Is She Constantly Crying?
I love Lashley (Ashley I. + amazing lashes = Lashley). She had no shame in her game, and she deserved to make it as far as she did. She also deserved to be left in the middle of nowhere South Dakota in a crop top and a furious Kelsey to deal with. It's just how the circle of life works. Basically a question regarding Ashley I.'s crying will probably come up, but honestly, Chris Harrison, CAN THIS WOMAN LIVE? She's got emotions. We can't all be faces of stone like Mr. Warmth, er, Chris Soules.
How Will Chris Harrison Bring Up "The Virgins" Without Seeming Like A Total Creep?
It's not enough that the show totally exploited these two women's personal decisions throughout the entire season, but there's no way the producers won't make Chris Harrison bring it up on the reunion show.
Does Anyone Feel Like They Were Right For Chris?
No, really. Is anyone still really bummed that they didn't win Chris' heart? I'm always hopeful for the girl who was the first eliminated to say she "and Chris had something really special," and how she still thinks about him all the time.
Who Will Be The Leader?
At these Tell Alls, there's always one girl who takes the lead and somehow manages to get her voice heard in response to every question. My money is on Lashley, just because she loves to talk (no hate, I love to talk too, girl). I'd also like the first girl eliminated (see above) to be extra-vocal, too, as if she has any credibility to speak on the show.
Will We Be Forced To Relive Carly & Chris' Sex Guru Date?
Please, God, NOOOOO.
Who Will Be The Next Bachelorette?
But the real question of the night will be... Who will be the next Bachelorette? Spoiler: we probably won't find out until the After The Final Rose episode.
Images: Craig Sjodin/ABC; Giphy (10)
