At this point in your life, it is probably very unlikely that you haven't heard of Fifty Shades of Grey . It is also probably very unlikely that you aren't semi-aware of what the book-turned-feature film is about, right? With Fifty Shades of Grey about to be released in theaters, there has been a resurgence of fandom surrounding the film and book series, causing some expected movie-goers to reread the book, or perhaps pick up the book for the first time. But, if you're someone who's all "Ain't nobody got time for that," about reading, this can be a problem — especially before the movie comes out on Feb. 13. So, to make things easier for you and ensure you remain culturally relevant...I've also written the entire Fifty Shades of Grey plot in emojis.
I wish I could say this were a difficult task, but it wasn't — and I am not sure if I have E.L. James or Emoji Keyboard to thank for that. I went page-by-page through the book and jotted down/typed out emojis that seemed to fit the surrounding events. Not every moment from the book has been captured via emoji — they don't have a tampon emoji, so you're just going to go on without knowing about that specific part of the book — but the big moments, the plot developers, are all there.
While I encourage people to read the book, just to get an idea of everything that happens before the movie comes out, the emoji plot is pretty concise. Starting from the first scene of Ana going to interview Christian for the student newspaper, to the last heart-breaking page — and everything in between — this is Fifty Shades of Grey plot with only emojis. (Can someone start playing Beyoncé's "Crazy in Love" or The Weeknd's "Earned It" for me?)
Even though I think the 69-part (total coincidence, I swear) emoji plot can sum up the novel, let's break down some of the more stand-out scenes and emojis. SPOILERS.
Ana Interviews Christian for the School Newspaper
There are sparks.
Christian flies Ana to Seattle, Reveals His Intentions
Obviously the knife is attached to the Red Room of Pain. Both parties are shocked by the other's confessions (Christian is a dominant, Ana is a virgin), and both confessions are quickly cleared up.
The Wine Sex Scene
After she get's a computer and sends a cheeky email, Christian swings by for a unique take on a glass of Pinot Grigio.
Christian Gifts Ana a Car for Graduation
And girlfriend is not happy about it.
Christian and Ana "Play" in His Playroom
After the pigtails and "punishing," there is some dancing, obviously.
Ana Goes to Georgia
Georgia peach, you know? Here Christian takes her soaring... not sore-ing. HA.
Back to the "Red Room of Pain" They Go
This time, Ana is blindfolded, silenced, and can't hear anything.
The End
The end, you can interpret this one yourself. Le sigh.
Images: Universal Pictures; Allison Piwowarski (9)
