With the holiday season rapidly tumbling toward us, as it does every year, it’s time to start thinking gifts. Because what good is a holiday season without the act of giving and getting? One full of lots of quality family time, I suppose, but who needs that? (I kid!) But, in all honesty, the holidays do contain quite a bit of gifting and sometimes among all that gifting, we forget about the one person to whom we should really be showing a huge amount of gratitude and appreciation: ourselves. Yes, it's time to start thinking about what sexy gift to give yourself this holiday season.
Face it: You've made it through another whole calendar year of life! You’ve had your ups and downs. You’ve had your joys, your disappointments, and days in which you truly hoped the Earth would just be hit by an asteroid already. You’ve loved, you’ve lost, you’ve made new friends, you’ve called in sick to work more than you probably should have, and you’ve started saving for your trip to Australia just so you can hold a baby koala. You’ve had a remarkable year, so shouldn’t you, too, be rewarded for that with something special? Yes; and nothing is a greater display of how much you adore yourself quite like an orgasm.
Since that’s the case, here are 11 sexy presents to give yourself this holiday season that will make you oh-so happy you’ve made your own acquaintance.
1. For When You’re Feeling Literary
When it comes to masturbation and erotica, Vibease is all you need. After you download the Vibease app, you flip through their store of erotica and choose a story that’s bound to get you off. Next, you sync your vibrator to your phone, via Bluetooth, put in your headphones, and let the magic begin. Vibease vibrates along with the story, so when things get fast and hard, the vibrator falls suit, and vice versa. It’s magical.
2. For When You’re In A Long-Distance Relationship
We-Vibe 4 Plus , $102, Amazon
Thanks to We-Vibe, long distance relationships have never been so fun. With the We-Vibe 4 Plus, you and your partner can play no matter how far apart you are — even across the globe. Once you both download the app, you put the control in your partner’s hand as they get to decide what settings and vibrations they want you to feel… or if they want to turn it off and tease you.
3. For When You Want Introduce Yourself To Anal Play
Bootie Plug and Sliquid Booty Lube Combo, $40, Babeland
If you’ve been flirting with the idea of anal play and are finally ready to get on that, then the Bootie Plug and Sliquid Booty Lube Combo is all you need. For starters, you NEED lube for any type of anal play and this particular butt plug is small enough to not freak out a newbie. It also has the perfect shape to hit all the right spots.
4. For When You Want To Focus On Your Clitoris
Orgasm in a Box, $25, Babeland
As someone who has the Orgasm in a Box, I completely recommend it. This box of goodies has everything you could possibly need to tickle your clitoris until the sun comes up. It even comes with lube and batteries, so it really is everything you need in one box.
5. For When You’re Feeling Fancy
Crave Vesper , $149, Amazon
Unless you’ve actually held the Crave Vesper in your hand, you would have no idea what it is. So what is it? It’s a necklace — but also a vibrator. The pendant is three inches of 24K gold that, when used in all the right spots, will become your favorite piece of jewelry of all time. It’s also so sleek and slick that no one, and I mean no one, will even know that you’re wearing a vibrator around your neck... unless you’re at a bar where I am and I come up to you and to confirm what I think it is, which I actually did on one occasion.
6. For When You Need A Break
Jimmyjane Contour Massage Stones , $25, Amazon
After a long day, who doesn’t want to take a load off and get a hot stone massage? Jimmyjane Contour Massage Stones is the perfect gift for yourself when you want to unwind and relieve tension in your muscles. Combine this with some masturbation either before or after (or both!), and it’s like you’ve hit the proverbial jackpot.
7. For When You Finally Want To Find Your G-Spot
For a lot of women, the G-spot remains an elusive part of their body. Because of this, many women have never experienced a vaginal orgasm. But if you've had it with your G-spot being shrouded in mystery and are determined AF to find it, then the G-Spotter is for you. The angle of this dildo and the shape of the bulbous end will make finding your G-spot so much easier and will give it all the attention it deserves. So maybe, just maybe, the vaginal orgasm won't be too far off in your future.
8. For When You Want To Educate Yourself
No matter how skilled you are in the art of sex, there’s always more to learn and room to grow. For example, there may actually be things out there, sex-related things, that can make your sex life even better, but you don’t even know they exist yet! Since that could definitely be the case for any of us, Moregasm: Babeland’s Guide to Mind-Blowing Sex is the only book you need to make sure you’re getting as much out of sex as you possibly can.
9. For When You’re In The Mood For Some Oral Sex
The Womanizer , $189, Amazon
As someone who has The Womanizer among my collection of sex toys, I can attest to the fact that if you’re in the mood for receiving oral sex and no one is around to give it, The Womanizer is the next best thing. What makes The Womanizer so special is the fact that your clitoris is being stimulated by compressed air, therefore giving a feeling of suction with a dash of vibration. It’s definitely a feeling that other vibrators just can’t deliver, and feels as close to something licking your clitoris as you’re going to get without the real thing.
10. For When You’re Feeling Extra Sexy
Black Pearl Teddy, $55, Babeland
I firmly believe that lingerie is something you wear for yourself. While you can wear it for somebody else, it shouldn’t be something that you only wear for someone else; it should be something that you like to wear because of how it makes you feel. If go by this rationale, then splurging on sexy lingerie is definitely something you want to do for yourself. Whether you wear it under your clothes at work, around the house while you’re vacuuming, or when you’re indulging in some hot alone time, lingerie is always a good idea.
11. For When You Want To Splurge
Jimmyjane Eternity, $2,750, Babeland
Although a $20 vibrator can usually get the job done, sometimes you want to go all out when it comes to sex toys. While very few people are able — or even willing — to drop $15K on a sex toy, what’s more realistic is a couple thousand on a toy that you know you and your vagina totally deserve. It’s these people who turn to the Jimmyjane Eternity, a vibrator of gold, diamonds, and overall decadence that will definitely make you feel like royalty every time you use it. Because sometimes you just want to feel like a princess while you're getting off.
Whatever sexy gift you decide to get yourself this holiday, remember, you deserve it.
