VMAs Moments That'd Be Perfect AIM Away Messages

Not to get too nostalgic this fine Monday afternoon, but remember when Kim Kardashian photobombed Miley Cyrus's selfie? Wow. It seems like only yesterday. Where does the time go? *Checks calendar* Oh. I see. It was only yesterday. Well, I'll be! Sunday night, the 2015 MTV Video Music Awards did the MTV Video Music Awards thing. There were performances. There were candid moments. There were moonmen statuettes. And there were moments that would make for perfect AOL Instant Messenger away messages. Yes, away messages. Remember when I said we weren’t going to get too nostalgic? That was a fib. Late ‘90s / early ‘00s, here we come!

The purpose of the AIM away message was simple enough: let buddy list buddies know that the user was away from their computer. Sure, you could go with the default "I am away from my computer right now" message, but if you took your AIMing seriously, you created your own. Some used the away message to let buddies know exactly what it was that pulled them away from the keyboard (using the commode, finishing an essay for seventh-grade English class, eating dinner with the family, etcetera). However, many AIM users (myself included) viewed the away message as an opportunity to share a poignant quote from a movie, a Something Corporate lyric, a hyper-specific pop culture reference, a thinly-veiled dig at someone on their buddy list (aka the original subtweet), an inside joke, etcetera. Man, I miss the days of crafting *~HiLaRiOuS~*, sticky cap'd away messages.

I don't know how or why, but when I saw Miley Cyrus's plastic, presumably un-ironable VMAs dress last night, I was struck by a thought that I hadn't had in years: That'd make a good away message. The idea was too weird and too random to ignore, so I went ahead and ran with it. If I still used AIM today, you bet your buddy icon that the following moments from last night’s VMAs would be added to my away message arsenal.

BRB, I'm A Frankenstein Untangling Some Headphones.

VMA moment: Andy Samberg and Ike Barinholtz help Miley Cyrus brainstorm Instagram ideas.Why it'd make for a good away message: It paints a vivid, strange, and memorable picture.

BRB, [Insert Album Title Here] Was The First Album My Brother And I Bought On iTunes When I Was 12 Years Old.

VMA moment: Taylor Swift presents Kanye West’s Video Vanguard Award.Why it’d make for a good away message: The first time you use this away message, name the first album you bought on iTunes. But then, change the album title every time you use the away message. Get weirder with your picks. Try to catch your buddy list off guard. It'll become a thrilling game for you and your AIM buddies. Which album will she say was her first iTunes purchase next?!

BRB, I'm Going To Curl Up On Kim K’s Shoulder And Pretend To Fall Asleep.

VMA moment: Kanye West pretends to fall asleep during the show.Why it’d make for a good away message: It's a way to say that your AIM buddies are boring you without actually saying it.

BRB, I'm Climbing Through A Trapdoor And Performing With Demi Lovato Right Now.

VMA moment: In the middle of Demi Lovato's performance of "Cool for the Summer," surprise guest Iggy Azalea emerges through a trapdoor in the stage.Why it'd make for a good away message: It's totally relatable. We've all been there, right?

BRB, Can't Stop Bobbing My Head Back And Forth.

VMA moment: Mark Ronson bobs his head throughout the entire Best Male Video acceptance speech.Why it'd make for a good away message: It's totally relatable. We've all been there, right?

BRB, I Tried To Iron My See-Through Plastic Candy Button Dress, But The Dress Melted All Over The Ironing Board.

VMA moment: Miley Cyrus's clear plastic polka dot dress.Why it'd make for a good away message: It's totally relatable. We've all been there, right?

Image: insidemycar/tumblr