Does Sending A Rose On Hinge Make You Look Thirsty?

Beth, 25, has been on Hinge since 2022 but has only ever sent one or two roses, the app’s super-like function. “One time I sat there for 20 minutes, determined to send one, and I just couldn’t,” Beth says. “It feels like you’re being desperate, even though you’re not.”

Hinge users receive one free rose per week. But of course, they can buy more, if they so desire — a bundle of three costs $3.33 per rose, while a pack of 50 clocks out at $1.49 apiece. When the feature launched in 2020, Tim MacGougan, then Hinge’s chief product officer, told The Verge that the higher price point is meant to encourage deep intention. To quote Carly Rae Jepsen, they must really, really, really, really, really like you.

Heterosexual dating in particular is predicated on the cultural pillar of Man Pursuing Woman: waiting at the bottom of a staircase, running after the helpless heroine in the rain, great confessions of love that win over her heart. That’s why, for many women, sending roses can feel cringey. It’s a strong show of interest that upends gender norms.

While people can send roses to anyone they come across, they’re the only way to match with someone in the Standouts tab, a curated section of profiles geared toward a user’s particular type. In other words, for a woman to have a chance with the men she’s most interested in, she has to blatantly shoot her shot.

“Looking that eager on the internet, I could not,” one person said on TikTok. “Could be Harry Styles. No roses.”

Another TikTok user commented, “i accidentally sent a rose once and the embarrassment keeps me up at night.”

“I think the whole system makes it feels like you’re shooting your shot at someone out of your league.”

A spokesperson for Hinge claims that roses are twice as likely to lead to a date, but many users are still skeptical about the feature. Melissa, 33, has received a few roses on Hinge, and sends them out even less. “I don't know how guys feel when they receive roses,” she says. “People know you only get one however often, and you're using it on them.”

Last month, a Hinge survey found that 95% of its users worry about rejection and fear coming off as cringey. Are roses as significant as they seem? To get to the bottom of this, Bustle asked single men and women alike how they really feel about sending and receiving roses and how they navigate those feelings of awkwardness and vulnerability.

How Men Feel About Receiving Roses

Men tend to receive roses less frequently than women do. “It feels more special coming from a girl,” says Ted, 26. He tends to perceive that woman as cooler than he might otherwise. “Men are kind of like, well, I like a lot of people. I’m gonna send roses every week. Girls tend to be a little more selective. As a man, getting a comment from a girl, it’s extremely satisfying.”

Sam, 25, says he’s never been sent a rose, but thinks he would receive it as a compliment. “It does feel flattering and conveys confidence that someone would be so forward to express that degree of attraction,” he says. “I don't think of it as desperate. The rose feature is there for a reason, and it's to send a priority like to someone you find attractive.”

“If someone who's not as hot as me sends me a rose, I'm like, OK, this doesn't change the fact that I don't like you, but good effort.”

That said, roses can lead to mixed reactions. Juan, 28, says that receiving a rose makes him feel nice, but it’s not usually from a person he finds himself interested in.

The feature can stoke skepticism, leading a recipient to second-guess the sender. As one TikTok user says, “When I get a rose and they're really cute, I'm like, something's wrong. There's something off, because there's no way — if you're actually hot — you're sending me a rose. There's no way because you don't even need to be sending roses."

For some, it all comes down to looks. Josh, 27, says his reaction is wholly based on how attractive he finds the rose-bearer. “I'm trying to date someone who's as hot or hotter than me,” he says. “If someone who's not as hot as me sends me a rose, I'm like, OK, this doesn't change the fact that I don't like you, but good effort.”

How Women Feel About Sending Roses

Many women Bustle spoke to hesitate to send roses. “In straight dating, I think it’s like, girls are scared to get rejected, while boys are used to being rejected,” Beth says. Indeed, there’s a stigma around women being scorned as spinsters or “leftover women.”

As such, Beth and others would prefer not to make the first move. “I don’t mind sending the first message, but I like to be liked first. It’s a fear of rejection situation,” she says. Melissa agrees. “If it’s somebody that I'm interested in, ideally, I would want them to reach out.”

Dawn, 25, worries that sending a rose comes off as a bit too much and can set you up for embarrassment. “I think the whole system makes it feels like you’re shooting your shot at someone out of your league,” she says.

Her match rate is about the same as (or slightly lower than) when she sends a regular like.

Not every woman shies away from trying, though. Emily, 26, doesn’t pay for additional roses, but isn’t afraid to shower someone with free flowers. “I really don't consider it any different than a like,” she says. “If it does boost that guy's ego like whatever. If I do meet him, great, if I don't, it’s water under the bridge.”

For Emily, the super-like function isn’t that serious. “Even if I send a rose, I'm not gonna really really remember who I sent that rose to,” she says. “Eff it. If I like you, I'll just shoot my shot.” Her match rate is about the same as (or slightly lower than) when she sends a regular like.

Although making your affections clear can be intimidating, perhaps women should give it a shot. As Jack, 28, says, “If a woman gives me a flower in the real world, I might propose on the spot.”