Tinx Says Clubbing Is A "Dying Art”

In Bustle’s series Shooting Your Shot, single influencers weigh in on drinking and dating: their go-to beverages, their hot takes on dating apps, and more.

Tinx — the TikTok influencer, podcast host, and DJ behind your favorite booth — knows a thing or two about the modern dating vortex. From her candid advice about girlhood that spurred a TikTok following of over 1.5 million, to The Shift, her best-selling manifesto about how to build confidence in relationships (including the one you have with yourself) — Tinx has long been at the forefront of this conversation.

But lately, a lot of people have found the singles scene to be particularly exhausting.

“We are living through a paradigm shift in dating, one hundred percent,” Tinx says. “But that doesn’t mean we should be lamenting it. Let’s get creative — how can we make this experience better, and have fun with it?”

One way the LA native and nightlife connoisseur is “having fun with it,” is through leading by example, one party at a time.

“Clubbing is a dying art, and I’m ready to bring it back,” Tinx says. “When you’re going out, the intention should be to have a good time, period. If the music is good, the vibe is on point, and everyone is dancing, that’s when I feel my best – and I’m attracting that energy, too. Fun is my favorite word, I live for it.”

Ahead, Tinx takes us through her hot take on the apps to the one pre-sex ritual she swears by.

After all these years, are you sick of talking about dating?

I love talking about it. The part that I’m over is the negative conversation of how “bad dating is right now.” I think we’re all in agreement, we’ve hit the rock bottom of dating, but we can do things to make it better, or at least make our attitudes about it better.

How do you feel about the apps?

I’m not anti-apps. I’m pro-apps, but you have to use the app, you can’t let the app use you. This year, I started using them with more intention.

This is not a husband catalog; this is not a validation tool. This is a way for me to meet people, so how can I do that best?

I ask myself, would I let this guy buy me a drink if I met him at a bar? That’s my test — not if I like the color of his shirt.

I love that for you. Do you have a favorite dating app?

Hinge is my b*tch. I’m very into buying roses right now. I buy an $8 coffee everyday, I think I can afford a $1.99 virtual flower to send to a hot dude.

What do you think about drinks vs. dinner for a first date?

Drinks, for sure. Dinner is too much.

What would you tell the girls who’d rather skip wine, beer, and cocktails?

Get an iced tea! It doesn’t have to be an alcoholic drink — ordering a mocktail at a bar feels like way less pressure than going on a coffee walk as a date.

Agreed, mocktails are sexy! Another thing about dating that I feel isn’t discussed enough or made hot is safe sex.

Yes! I ask guys up front when they were last tested – I don’t care. I’ll say, “Let’s go get tested so we can relax a little bit.” If we’ve been out a few times and we’re at that stage, it’s important to me to feel like you can talk about sex, and have a plan. I think it’s hot. I’m working very hard to get rid of the stigma around asking your partner these things.

How do you feel about the party scene in NYC vs. LA?

NYC is better, hands down! I literally cannot find a party for love nor money in LA. The only place I go to is Market in Venice — it’s a restaurant that turns into a club. There is always a great DJ and hot people.

What’s your date night cocktail of choice?

Very, very dry vodka martini with a twist.

What’s your rule of thumb for how many drinks you can have on a first date?

I subscribe to Lindsey Metselaar (We Met At Acme’s) rule: no more than two drinks in two hours on a first date. I really believe in that mantra. But if it’s a third date, go crazy.