Sex
It’s about to get wet in here.
When it comes to shower sex, it's a slippery slope. It seems super hot in theory, but realistically, it can easily end in one or multiple sex-related injuries. Although such a disaster can make for a great story, it can also be a bad situation. Some injuries can take weeks to recover from, putting your whole sex life on hold. No one wants that.
But while shower sex comes with its own set of dangers, it's still something that some people want to try at least once — if only to cross it off a sex bucket list, which, yes, some of us totally have. For others, it could simply be because they need some spice in their life and the shower looks more intriguing than the kitchen table. (Although they're both equal in their fun factor, TBH.)
But how does one go about having safe and fun shower sex that’s actually enjoyable and won't put themselves or their partner in the hospital?
Positions. It's all about choosing the best shower sex positions and skipping the soap. You can lather up after you've successfully had sex without falling; you don't need to throw something else into the mix that's going to up the potential for injury. “Here are the main things to negotiate about shower sex,” Carol Queen, Ph.D., staff sexologist at Good Vibrations, tells Bustle: “Finding comfortable and enjoyable positions, including ones that don't get water in your eyes, and making sure you are stable (not all positions will be equally safe when it comes to slipping and falling).” Before you even think about shower sex positions, there are several safety precautions to keep in mind while you get dirty as you get clean, as they say.
Safe Shower Sex Do’s And Don’ts
Do: Practice
“Practice standing sex positions outside the shower,” notes Queen. They suggest getting very familiar and good at those “before moving into an environment that’s slippery.”
Do: Ensure Sturdy Equipment
“Check the shower you want to have sex in for stable places to lean [or] sit,” Queen advises. “Showers are really different from one another as regards these things, and always remember: Most of the elements of the shower aren't designed to be handles.”. That means realizing that no, the soap dish is not meant to hold the weight of your leg as a step for your foot, and the curtain bar and pipes are not handles. “They might come right off! Be careful,” warns Queen. “Bars intended to make the shower more accessible might be stable enough for support during shower sex, but test them before you start,” she advises, pointing out that you should also not lean on sliding glass shower doors.
As some of the best shower sex positions involve sitting or kneeling — more on that later — Queen also recommends bringing a yoga mat or gardening foam pad into the stall with you. “It will facilitate comfort and safety,” they tell Bustle. You also can simply purchase a grippy shower mat for the bottom of your tub.
Do: Clean Your Shower
Maybe shower scum and hair balls are not as off-putting for some people, but it’s safe to say that these don’t exactly help create an environment conducive to getting it on. “There’s nothing sexy about things we don’t want to see in a shower,” Dr. Martha Lee, D.H.S., relationship counselor, clinical sexologist, and founder of Eros Coaching, tells Bustle. Amen to that. “Get rid of any lingering odors, and tidy up razors, toothpaste, and shower gels to accident-proof your bathroom.”
Don’t: Mistake Water For Lube
Yes, the point of lube is to make the situation more wet. But water is not and will never be lube, as agreed upon by both Queen and Lee. “A silicon-based waterproof lube will reduce friction and facilitate anal and vaginal penetration more easily,” notes Lee, who also warns against attempting to use soap as lube, as it is not meant to enter your body.
However, if you’re using silicone toys, Queen cautions that silicon-based lube may not be your best choice, “but you could cover the toy with a condom to make it safe.”
Don’t: Stay Wet Too Long
Aside from the fact that standing there like a wet dog can get draining (pun intended), Lee says to avoid getting down in the shower for too long. “Damp nether regions are a breeding ground for bacteria and fungi,” she says. “Be sure to dry off well after shower sex.” As steamy as shower banging until you’re pruney all over sounds, your body will thank you for continuing in a dryer environment. Think of it like a bar: You don’t have to go home — aka stop having sex — but you can’t stay here (move it to the bed, people).
Now that safety measures are out of the way, here are ten shower sex positions you’ll want to give a try.
1Standing Doggy
How to do it: For standing doggy style, position your partner behind you and bend over while they penetrate you from this angle. You'll definitely want to steady yourself with the shower wall or the floor of the tub, depending on what's most comfortable for you and your flexibility range.
Why it's good for the shower: Standing positions are the immediate go-to when it comes to shower sex. However, some are more feasible than others. “This position allows for easier and deeper penetration,” Lee tells Bustle. “Since one person is steadying themselves against a surface, it prevents falling.” The standing person should be aware of how hard they are thrusting, though, “and moderate their power thrusts if it looks like they're too much for the bent-over partner,” adds Queen. “A non-slip surface is a must for this.”
2Person On Top
How to do it: “This works well for penis-vaginal penetration,” Lee says. “Have your partner sit on the toilet seat, floor of the shower, the shower bench, or the side of the tub. Straddle them in any position that allows for penetration comfortably, and hold onto them tight while you take a ride.”
Why it's good for the shower: You don’t need much floor space to pull this one off, making it an ideal position for in the shower. “Even if you have a stand-up shower that doesn’t have a full-size tub, you can still have a fun time,” Lee says. It's just a matter of adjusting the shower head so neither one of you are in its direct path. There's no sense in drowning in the name of a great orgasm. Plus, Queen says this is one of the safest shower sex positions, as there’s nowhere to fall.
3The Chairperson
How to do it: Think reverse cowgirl. “Straddle their lap, facing away from them, positioning yourself for anal or vaginal penetration,” Lee explains. “Place your hands on their knees or against the shower wall for balance.”
Why it’s good for the shower: As a shower position, this one is done on the bottom of the tub, so it’s pretty safe as far as slippage goes. It’s also simply a great position to hit the G-spot, according to Lee.
4The Bridge
How to do it: With one person on their knees (a towel or mat under their knees will ease any discomfort) and the other on their back, have the squatting person lift the person on their back’s hips to pull themselves in.
Why it's good for the shower: “Again, being low is safest,” Queen says, “and this one is just improved and made more comfy by the addition of cushy mats, and testing out where the shower spray goes — this could be a lovely yoga-like romp, or be a little too close to waterboarding for comfort!” You might consider aiming the water stream at the wall to prevent said waterboarding.
5Standing
How to do it: While facing the shower wall, have your partner, who's standing behind you, enter you from behind.
Why it's good for the shower: Frankly, if you're going take the standup route, “this is your best bet for standing positions, providing you can count on a wall that's truly stable,” Queen tells Bustle. Since both of you are standing upright, you can use the wall for support.
6Three-Legged Dog
How to do it: Lean your back against the wall, separate your legs, and put one leg over their hip while they enter you. “You can use a footrest and suction grab handle, or the side of the tub or a shower seat for support,” Lee suggests. “If you don’t have any of those things, have your partner use one hand to hold your leg up while they thrust.”
Why it's good for the shower: “With stability, one can focus on the angle of penetration and ease of access, so you can go on for quite some time without pain or fear or slipping,” says Lee. It may require some balance, but once you get there, it's just your bodies pressed up against each other as you steam up the room — how hot is that? Just take it slow so as not to bang yourselves off balance.
7Got My Back
How to do it: Like the leg-up position, only with your back to your partner. “Stand facing the shower wall and rest your foot on the footrest, bench, or tub’s edge for support,” Lee explains. “Have your partner stand directly behind you and hold your leg up for extra support while they penetrate you.”
Why it’s good for the shower: “Support is necessary, and having your back supported means you can relax into their body weight,” Lee says. Plus, there’s just that something about having your partner right there at your back. And supporting you, no less? Yum.
8Mutual Masturbation
How to do it: Just reach on down and start to pleasure yourself, while your partner does the same.
Why it's good for the shower: How else are you supposed to get through the day if you don't start it off with a proper orgasm? That being said, mutual masturbation is great for the shower because there’s no potential for falling. “You don’t have to worry about finding a comfortable sex position, but rather focus on your pleasure while being watched and watching,” says Lee. You can each jerk yourselves off while kissing, and it's hot and far from dangerous.
9The Proposal
How to do it: With your partner down on one knee, as if they're going to pop the big question, and you on your knees, get close enough so they can penetrate you.
Why it's good for the shower: The proposal sex position is actually more stable than it looks. “A position like this is comparable to a kneeling three-legged dog, so it will be more stable and comfortable — bring your pads in to kneel on,” says Queen. It's also a fantastic option if you have a partner with a large penis, because the angle helps to prevent any discomfort that might come from deep penetration.
10Yab Yum
How to do it: One partner will sit cross-legged, while the other will sit on top with their legs wrapped all the way around their back. This one is similar to the person on top sitting position, only without the kneeling to brace. Instead, “the top partner sits entirely on the inserting partner's lap,” says Queen.
Why it’s good for the shower: Again, as a sitting position, this one is safer than standing options because you aren’t at risk of having a crash landing. Plus, as Queen adds, “This is intimate, and if you angle right, no water in the eyes.” Huge bonus there.
Ultimately, if you do it right, shower sex can be a lot of fun. But it's really important to choose your positions wisely, keep slippery things out of it until afterward, and realize the importance of steadying yourself with the wall or floor. It also helps if you know, going into it, that it's going to be a bit tricky. Then you can at least have a laugh when you both end up on the floor — if that should be the case.
Experts:
Carol Queen, Ph.D., staff sexologist at Good Vibrations
Dr. Martha Lee, D.H.S., relationship counselor, clinical sexologist, author, and owner of Eros Coaching
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