While Scorpios have a reputation for being sultry and intense, they actually aren’t the smoothest when it comes to dating. This water sign gets big-time nervous when they’re waiting at the bar for their Hinge match, they tend to keep their cards close to their chest, and they’ve also been known to get tunnel vision once they meet someone they really like.
This combination means Scorpios often have a tough time navigating the dating field, which is why anyone with Scorpio placements could benefit from a few pointers. This sensitive, Pluto-ruled water sign is often afraid to open up and even more afraid of getting hurt in a relationship, especially if a connection feels like the real deal.
“Many Scorpios have been burned in the past, so they might prefer to remain in the shadows until they've really got their date figured out,” says Bethany Nicole, relationship expert and astrologer. This tendency is something to keep in mind as you meet up for dinner or drinks. The faster you can make yourself comfortable, the better.
According to Nicole Goicuria, M.A., a therapist and astrologer, scorpions value consistency, loyalty, and commitment — aka three things that are tough to come by, but not totally impossible to find in the dating world. As long as you keep your watery personality traits and feelings in mind as you date, you should be able to relax, have a good time, and maybe even meet The One.
1. Embrace (And Show Off) Your Depth
It’s tempting to keep things surface-level on a first date, especially when you’re nervous or unsure of a match. Many people don’t want to talk about big topics right out of the gate, like five-year plans or what they’re looking for in a relationship, but experts encourage Scorpios to open up and go there.
In fact, if you try too hard to play it cool while sipping your espresso martini, you might accidentally come off as cold, bored, or disinterested — and that can push people away. As a water sign ruled by action-oriented Mars and transformational Pluto, you’ll quickly realize that you connect best with others when you show a deeper side of yourself.
You don’t care about a potential partner’s favorite color or what they do for work, but you will want to know if they’ve ever experienced existential dread, if they carry crystals around in their bag, or how many times they’ve reinvented themselves. “Don't worry about scaring people away,” says astrologer Talisa Zampieri. “If they can't handle your intensity, then they're not for you!”
You’ll know someone’s a good match when you’re able to let your guard down, open up, and talk freely without judgment. “It can feel threatening to a Scorpio to be vulnerable,” she says, “but this is the only way to foster the intimacy they crave.”
2. Don’t Put All Your Eggs In One Basket
If anyone’s going to fall in love on a first date, it’s Scorpio. Often all it takes is one great conversation or a single moment of intense eye contact, and just like that, you’ll start imagining your nuptials.
As a fixed sign that values trust and loyalty, many Scorpios can’t wait to cozy up inside a safe, secure relationship. The trouble is, that desire often makes you move too fast while dating, says Goicuria. Until you’re officially committed, she recommends continuing to swipe on Hinge and talking to more than one person at a time to slow down and keep your options open.
Having a couple of dates lined up will also save you from feeling too hurt if you end up ghosted by your first choice, says Nicole. Scorpios are also often targeted by love bombers who can tell they’re eager to fall in love, so be on the lookout for things that feel too good to be true.
Dating more than one person will make it easier for you to spot the people making empty promises or doing too much, and it’ll also allow you to quickly move on should a connection go awry.
3. Listen To Your Gut
If you go on a date with someone who seems perfect on paper, and yet you get the sense something isn’t quite right, don’t brush it off — and don’t let your friends convince you to “try again” by going on a second or third date. According to Zampieri, Scorpios have laser-sharp intuition, so remember to tune in and trust your gut.
Your powerful intuition stems from your ruling planets, which allow you to peek behind the proverbial curtain, almost like you’re reading minds. As long as you aren’t blinded by a love bomber, you should be able to tell when a date’s energy is off — and the more you practice, the easier it’ll become.
If it feels like someone’s wasting your time, they probably are. And if it feels like they might still be obsessed with their ex, chances are you’re spot-on. Don’t doubt these inklings and, once you cut ties, don’t waste another ounce of energy on them — even when you feel a twinge of empathy if they seem sad or apologetic.
That means no scrolling through their Instagram for signs or clues, no replying to texts when they inevitably reach out again in three months, and no getting back together with an ex who did you dirty just because you’re bored. As a sensitive water sign, your well-being should be a top priority when dating, so always put yourself first.
Sources:
Talisa Zampieri, astrologer
Nicole Goicuria, M.A. therapist, astrologer
Bethany Nicole, relationship expert, astrologer
