If you’re past the point of venting, having a tasteful tantrum, or going on a mindful walk to blow off steam, you might be officially entering your rage room era. ICYMI, a rage room is a place where you can wield a sledgehammer to break furniture, TVs, vases, and more. It’s all yours for the smashing, usually while loud music plays.
Rage rooms are the perfect place to unleash your fury in a controlled environment, and they might become more popular as the conversation around “feminine rage” takes over social media. Right now, the topic has over 102 million posts on TikTok, and has people thinking about anger and why it’s so important to let it all out.
According to Dr. Brooke Keels, Ph.D., LPR-MHSP, a counselor and chief clinical officer at Lighthouse Recovery, feminine rage describes the anger many women feel from dealing with years of inequality, discrimination, or being overlooked in society. “It’s not about women being ‘angry’ for no reason, but about all the built-up frustrations from not having their voices heard or their needs met,” she tells Bustle.
Why It’s Important To Let It Out
If you’ve been told that you’re “uncontrollable” or “unladylike” for expressing anger in the past, and have learned to hold it all in as a result, then take this as your cue to rage. “It’s important to let anger out in a healthy way,” says Keels, who compares it to releasing steam from a pressure cooker.
When you hold in feelings, it can lead to an “explosion” down the road, as well as pent-up frustration and eventual burnout. While it’s helpful to work through big emotions, find ways to calm yourself, and learn more about underlying causes of anger with a therapist — like sadness, frustration, and trauma — the physical release of anger is just as key. “It might not be the only way to deal with rage,” says Keels, “but it’s often one of the quickest and most effective ways to clear out that intense energy.”
According to Renée Zavislak, a licensed psychotherapist, trauma specialist, and host of Psycho Therapist: The Podcast, anger in its pure form is also there to help you. "All challenging emotions have jobs, and anger's job is to alert us to a boundary problem,” she tells Bustle. “If the anger isn't addressed, the boundary problem will persist, hence creating more anger and more internalized distress.”
Creating Your Own Rage Room
If you don’t have a rage room near you or don’t want to let your fury fly in public, creators on TikTok — and various experts — have other ways to release the rage at home. Try these tricks to let it out while learning to own your right to rage.
1. Angrily Twist A Towel
On TikTok, creator @iamdaisydraper recommends twisting a towel as hard as you can when you’re mad. Wring it as if it’s full of water, pretending to get out every last drop, and channel all of your tension into the twist. Go ahead and growl or yell with your teeth showing to let the anger out of your body.
2. Rip Up Paper
“Another great idea is to rip up newspaper — or cardboard if you're looking for something tougher,” says Keels. “The physical act of ripping something can feel surprisingly satisfying and helps [release] that built-up frustration.”
As you tear, imagine your anger shrinking or changing into something neutral. “This makes it feel like you're not just letting your anger run wild, but you’re actively clearing it out from your head,” she says.
3. Forcefully Slam A Ball
TikTok creator @meganthomaslpc suggests slamming a stress ball into the ground with as much force as possible. You’ll want to use a ball that’s bouncy enough to come back to you but not so bouncy that it flies away. That way you can smash it repeatedly without having to chase it. If you don’t have a ball, pitch ice cubes into your shower.
4. Jump & Get Sweaty
Blast your angriest playlist and do a high-intensity interval training (HIIT), workout. “You can do anything from sprinting to jumping jacks, burpees, or mountain climbers,” says Keels. “The physical exertion of HIIT helps burn off that excess energy, and the intense focus required can take your mind off whatever’s causing the anger.”
5. Kick & Punch The Air
On TikTok, creator @anjeliquej recommends kickboxing. Similar to HIIT, it’s a way to get your heart rate up, your anger out, and it allows you to funnel your fury into something physical, like punching.
6. Break Plates
Many people recommend breaking plates, which you can pick up at the dollar store. Get a set of mugs, plates, and bowls and throw each one with gusto into a dumpster — or put them in a sealed bag and smash them on the ground. To make it extra symbolic, creator @drvivid recommends writing what you want to let go of on the plate first.
7. Take It Out On A Pillow
According to Zavislak, it would also feel good to punch a pillow with all your might. Pick it up, slam it on your bed, throw it on the floor, yell into it — whatever seems right. “I like to picture red smoke coming from my fist with every blow I land on the pillow or from my mouth with every F-bomb,” she says.
Studies referenced:
Chapman, BP. (2013.) Emotion suppression and mortality risk over a 12-year follow-up. J Psychosom Res. doi: 10.1016/j.jpsychores.2013.07.014.
Sources:
Dr. Brooke Keels, Ph.D., LPR-MHSP, counselor, chief clinical officer at Lighthouse Recovery
Renée Zavislak, licensed psychotherapist, trauma specialist, host of Psycho Therapist: The Podcast
