TikTok's "Orange Peel" Relationship Theory, Explained

In a solid relationship, it’s natural for partners to do little things to help each other throughout the day, like starting a pot of coffee in the morning or re-sending a Hulu password for the hundredth time. Favors like these are quick and easy, sure, but they show that you’re keeping each other in mind.

That’s the basis for the “orange peel theory,” aka the latest viral relationship trend with over 51 million views on TikTok. It claims that a silly little test — like asking your partner to peel an orange for you — can give you a better idea about the strength of your relationship, according to Neha Kumar, LMFT, a licensed marriage and family therapist and clinical director at Alter Behavior Health.

It sounds simple, but how your partner reacts to an easy request can speak volumes. If they happily take the orange and start peeling, it’s considered to be a sign of a good attitude, and that they’re ready and willing to do a small act of kindness. And this could be a marker of a solid relationship, says Kumar.

If they say no or make a big deal about it, well, it could point to something else entirely.

The Orange Peel Theory, Explained

To test the theory, hand your partner an orange, ask them to peel it, and see what they do. (Or wait for a similar moment to arise naturally.) According to Amber Brooks, a relationship expert and editor-in-chief of DatingAdvice.com, the answer all lies in your partner’s reaction.

Do they have lovable golden retriever energy and are instantly happy to help? Are they super chill and peel right away, without even thinking? Or do they get mad, question your motives, brush you off, or tell you to peel it yourself?

“These questions matter beyond the small task of peeling an orange, and it’s good for couples to think along these lines if they are serious about making a commitment and building a life together,” says Brooks.

The type of energy your partner brings to the relationship — and all the little favors you should be happy to do for each other as a couple — can show up in other ways, too.

“From unloading the dishwasher or folding the laundry to refilling a water bottle without being asked, these small acts of kindness undoubtedly signify care and consideration,” says Kumar.

What’s The Big Deal?

When a partner refuses small bids for attention or requests for help, you have to wonder about their commitment level, how much they care — and what might happen when bigger problems arise.

“If your partner gets defensive and argumentative over an orange, it might be a sign that something bigger is going on,” Brooks says.

Creators on TikTok are comparing the orange peel theory to the bird test. This refers to the small “bid for attention” where you get excited and point to a bird in the sky. How your partner reacts is said to reveal how connected they are to you.

Similarly, “the orange peel ask is a bid to see if a partner can be counted upon to do a small favor,” Brooks says. “This small moment creates a small crossroad where a partner chooses to turn toward or away from a stated need in the relationship. People in healthy relationships turn toward consistently and emphatically.”

That said, while it might be a tiny red flag, a partner failing a TikTok relationship test doesn’t mean you have to break up. According to Kumar, there are so many reasons why they might say no or be unwilling to help, so you shouldn’t jump to conclusions.

How To Approach A Non-Peeling Partner

According to Brooks, the orange peel theory could provide an interesting data point to help you decide if you want to be with someone long-term.

“If your partner won't peel the orange, it's worth asking why and seeing their reasoning,” she says. “You might want to also talk about your needs and expectations in your relationship.”

This is where Brooks recommends throwing out a few hypotheticals and discussing how you’d both like to handle situations — both big and small — where one person has a need and the other has to help.

“Having an honest dialogue about the ways you feel supported and loved can help create a roadmap for future success,” she says. “That way, you'll both feel better prepared next time you need to ask your partner for help.”

Sources:

Neha Kumar, LMFT, licensed marriage and family therapist, clinical director at Alter Behavioral Health.

Amber Brooks, relationship expert, Editor-in-Chief of DatingAdvice.com