TikTok's "Meet Them Twice" Relationship Theory, Explained

Think of all the times you’ve locked eyes with a stranger at a bar, lost touch with someone after a first date, or had a passing yet fabulous conversation with a Paul Mescal lookalike at a party. Now imagine it’s years later and you end up dating them. Pretty movie-worthy, right?

It’s why the “meet them twice” theory is going viral on TikTok where thousands of people are sharing stories about the perfect partner who almost got away. The “meet them twice” theory is the idea that you’ll have an initial encounter with someone that leads nowhere and, if you’re destined to be together, you’ll come back into each other’s lives a second time — and that’s when you fall in love.

It leans into the concept that certain people are meant to be. The theory suggests the universe will give you a second chance at some point, like @rachsolomon_ and her partner who went on a date, lost touch, but then reconnected a year later and are now happier than ever.

There are plenty of stories like hers, as well as ones that are even more fated, like @ashleelynnetok who took a day trip with mutual friends and ended up in the same car as her future partner. In her viral TikTok, she notes that she didn’t remember meeting him because she was going through a breakup at the time, but the two officially met years later and are now getting married.

It’s similar to the red string theory that tells the tale of future partners who weave in and out of each other’s lives for years before finally meeting, but this one’s more about second chances. Here’s what to know about the trend, as well as some advice from a dating expert.

The “Meet Them Twice” Theory

According to Jessica Alderson, a relationship expert and co-founder of the dating advice platform So Syncd, the “meet them twice” theory isn’t the norm IRL — and that could explain why it feels so special when it happens. “Many couples get together after meeting for the first time and stay together long-term,” she tells Bustle. “Equally, some people may be friends or work together for years before starting a romantic relationship.”

The idea that you may have already met your future partner without realizing it seems so magical in comparison, especially in a world where you could be losing hope as you endlessly scroll through dating apps. Who knows? Maybe you’re destined to be with the person you saw at the coffee shop two years ago or a Hinge match you chatted to and forgot about.

The theory suggests you might end up with that person from your past, but it also keeps the hope alive that an ex might change and come back into your life. It can be a comforting thought if you feel like they were the right person for you but you met at the wrong moment, possibly because you were both going through a tough time.

“People can and do change, and sometimes it's only after going through their own individual journeys that two people are truly ready to be together,” says Alderson. That said, this theory can also give you false hope — and it’s important not to fall into that trap.

Can You Make It Work The Second Time?

In some cases the meet them twice theory is completely innocent, like when it suggests you’ll casually cross paths with a future partner like @livvkirbyy, who spotted her now-boyfriend at a bar in 2018 before they officially met years later and started dating. In a June TikTok, she said it was like the universe said “right person, please hold.”

In these instances, there’s no reason not to go for it and see if the connection is real. But if you’re thinking about rekindling things with an ex — like someone you dated in college or a Hinge match you met twice for coffee — Alderson recommends running through a mental checklist before you give them a second chance.

“One of the things to be mindful of when meeting someone the second time around is finding a balance between acknowledging that people can change while also not completely forgetting who they were before,” she says. If you noticed red flags the first time you met or dated, keep an eye out for them again.

It’s also very grounding to remember that not everything is fate, even if you want it to be. It makes sense that you’d run into someone a second time if you live in the same neighborhood or if you have mutual friends. While you’ll want to be careful not to get swept up in a romantic story, sometimes the “meet them twice” theory does work out.

Source:

Jessica Alderson, relationship expert, co-founder of So Syncd