Wellness

Do You Talk To Yourself? Good.

TikTok users and therapists approve.

by Carolyn Steber

Everyone has a few comforting quirks that they only indulge in behind closed doors. For some, it’s lying on the floor to relax. For others, it’s talking to themselves out loud. These unhinged habits might seem embarrassing, especially if you get caught in the act, but then you go on social media and realize there are dozens — and sometimes even hundreds of thousands — of other people just like you.

For anyone who yaps to themselves out loud, it’ll come as a relief to know there are nearly 300,000 posts about “talking to yourself” on TikTok. These videos show creators opening up about how much they love to chat with themselves, whether they’re muttering ideas out loud at home or having full-blown, interview-style conversations in their car.

This habit is way more common than you might think. “I’ve had clients come into sessions and admit they talk to themselves and worry it’s abnormal, but it’s really not,” says Lauren Auer, LCPC, a therapist and founder of Steadfast Counseling. “In fact, you might be surprised by how many people have internal — or external! — dialogues running throughout the day.”

Believe it or not, it’s also good for you. According to Auer, talking to yourself is an excellent way to process your thoughts, work through tough emotions, and find comfort when you’re stressed, but there are even more benefits to be had. Read on below for everything you need to know about this quirky little custom.

TikTokers Are Talking To Themselves

On TikTok, creator @good_mess_des joked that she likes to talk to herself because she knows she’ll always answer — and that’s honestly so real. In her comments, one person said, “I’m the funniest person I know. Of course I’m going to talk to myself” while another wrote, “I am my own consultant.”

Creator @y0rubangel also loves a one-sided yap sesh, so much so that she’ll put in headphones and talk to herself while walking. “Sometimes a girl just needs to talk,” she noted in her caption before over 4,000 commenters chimed in to validate her. One person said, “I do this all the time when I need to vent and get advice from a real one. (Myself.)” Another admitted they’ll even start laughing during their conversations.

While many chats are lighthearted and fun, others can feel like a true necessity, especially when you’re stressed. Creator @samherling said he talks to himself as a way to prevent overthinking. For him, it’s a positive coping mechanism. “I get relief by verbalizing what’s on my mind [...] even though no one’s listening,” he said in a now-viral TikTok. He went on to compare the habit to journaling or speaking to a therapist.

According to Auer, these are all completely legitimate reasons to talk to yourself. “It’s one way your brain can make sense of things — it’s like thinking out loud,” she says. Instead of keeping it all inside, you’re giving your thoughts and feelings a place to go.

Talking to yourself can be cathartic, which is why so many people do it while they drive home from work. When you’ve had an annoying day it feels good to vent and complain — without having to explain the details to a listener on the other end of the phone.

As one final perk, Auer says talking to yourself can also help you feel less lonely. This is why you might catch yourself having a one-sided conversation if you live alone, work from home, or while on a long car ride. That said, even people who live with roommates or a partner might slip away to indulge in a quick chat.

Here’s Why You Talk To Yourself Out Loud

According to Auer, this habit is especially common among verbal processors, aka people who need to say their thoughts out loud in order to fully understand them. “Hearing your thoughts spoken can clarify things in a way that just thinking can’t,” she says. “Sometimes hearing a problem spoken aloud also shifts your perspective and helps you figure out what to do next.”

It’s also a common habit amongst chronic over-thinkers and those with anxiety who might need to unleash pent-up thoughts and worries. On TikTok, many people speculate it’s a go-to for creative or introspective types, too. It’s not limited to one type of person, but some folks definitely do it more often than others.

Is It OK To Talk To Yourself Out Loud?

If you’re still wondering whether or not it’s OK to talk to yourself, Auer gives this habit the therapist's seal of approval. “Talking to yourself out loud can be a very healthy coping mechanism,” she says. “It can also serve as a great alternative to venting to others, especially if you’re trying not to offload your stress onto friends or loved ones.”

If you’ve never tried it, allow yourself to talk to yourself out loud the next time you’re cooking dinner, taking a shower, or going for a walk. It’ll feel good to verbalize your emotions, validate your feelings, and keep yourself company.

Source:

Lauren Auer, LCPC, therapist, founder of Steadfast Counseling