7 Ways To Avoid Meeting The Next Tinder Swindler

If you just started messaging a week ago and they’re already acting like you are the love of their life — showering you with compliments, hinting at the “L” word, and moving super fast — these are all signs of love bombing. Trombetti says this is always a red flag. “If there is any talk of a future, and especially when you haven't even met in person, please know this person is not for real.”

If you’re talking to someone who says they’re local, they should be able to name specific places in the area. For instance, Omar Ruiz, licensed marriage and family therapist, tells Bustle, they should be able to answer what spots in town they haven’t visited yet but would like to check out or what their favorite restaurant is. If someone responds with short and concise statements, you could be dealing with a liar. “It's as though they are purposely trying to avoid being caught that they are not local or a real person,” Ruiz says.

It may be seen as a bold move to ask someone for their number right after matching on a dating app, and some people may do that as a way to filter out certain people who might not be serious about dating. But, it be can be a red flag.

According to Ruiz, most people who are dating with good intentions tend to feel more comfortable exchanging contact information after some back and forth messaging within the dating app you met on. This way, it allows you to get to know each other before deciding to see where it goes.

But scammers may try to push you to start messaging offline so they can have a better chance of getting what they want from you. Plus, many dating apps have features that allow you to block or report people who are acting shady, so getting you on another platform helps them stay active on the apps, too.

Canceling a date once or twice is forgivable — things happen that may be out of their control. But if you’re dealing with someone who says they’re super excited about meeting up, yet always has a wild excuse for why they can’t do it, you’re likely talking to someone who doesn’t have your best interest at heart.

“Scammers have a way of canceling dates at the last minute with outrageous excuses,” Trombetti says. “Don't fall for this.” Even if they aren’t trying to scam you, people who do this just aren’t worth your time.

No matter how many people try to deny it, it’s pretty common to Google someone you’re interested in especially if you met them online. If it seems like what they’re saying doesn’t add up to what you’ve seen online, it isn’t something to brush off.

“Not being able to verify any of the info they give you is a grand red flag,” Trombetti says. This is especially true if you’re talking to someone who claims to be very wealthy. Trombetti also says that last names may be worth noting in these cases. Scammers will sometimes use common names like “Smith,” “Mitchell,” or “Green” so it’ll be hard to narrow down their name on Google or LinkedIn.

If you’re talking to someone who claims they live in the same place as you, but they only message you at 2 a.m., you may be talking to someone who isn’t being truthful. “Scammers may reply at odd hours of the day, as they are clearly living in a different time zone and/or country,” Rori Sassoon, relationship expert and co-owner of matchmaking agency Platinum Poire, tells Bustle. In this case, “trust your intuition,” she says. If you try to talk to them about it but they never give you a clear answer, it may be best to just cut ties.

When you’re talking to someone online and they’re attentive, ask thoughtful follow-up questions, and respond in a way that makes you feel seen and heard, it’s easy to start falling for them. It can feel like you’ve finally found someone who gets you. But be cautious about what you reveal to someone right away.

Scammers only want to take things from you, says Sassoon. It may start off with them asking for additional photos and before you know it, they’ll be asking for more personal information.

According to Sassoon, scammers will look for any signs of vulnerability and exploit that in order to get whatever they can out of you. “Keep yourself safe online by keeping protective layers between you and your match,” she says. That means, don’t reveal anything too personal before you’ve had a chance to meet in person. If someone pushes you to open up before you’re ready, they may not be the right one for you.