21 Questions To Ask Yourself After A First Date

If you’re at a place in your life where you want to get married, how you approach dating matters. Instead of mindlessly swiping through Bumble while watching a movie at home, you may take more time to actually read through profiles before deciding to swipe left or right. Or maybe you’re more open to going out with people you might not have considered before. As your priorities evolve, the way you evaluate first dates might also evolve, which is why we put together a First Date Evaluation Form to help you evaluate what really matters.

Unlike casual dating, looking for a serious relationship requires playing the long game, says Erika Kaplan, dating expert and senior matchmaker with Three Day Rule Matchmaking. “This might mean going on another date with someone even if sparks weren’t immediately flying in order to see if that connection can build based on stuff that’s going to matter in the long run like values, goals, life stages, trust, and mutual respect,” she says.

It may take more than one or two dates to really get an idea of who someone is and whether they’re right for you. It’s important to stay open to the possibilities.

How To Think About A First Date

Some people go into a first date having an all-or-nothing mindset. For instance, if they don’t feel an immediate “spark” or an intense physical attraction, it’s not worth pursuing. However, some things just take time. Maybe you didn’t feel strongly about someone the first time around, but once you get to know them more, you may change your mind.

As Deborah J. Cohan, Ph.D., professor of sociology at the University of South Carolina-Beaufort, tells Bustle, first dates are an opportunity for you to feel someone out. “It really centers around curiosity,” Cohan says. “It’s about the curiosity to get to know another person and the curiosity about what your own life might feel like with this other person around.” If you notice that you have a lot of things in common or you just feel comfortable being around them, it may be worth it to give them a shot.

What Questions To Ask Yourself

Evaluating a date or what matchmakers call “post-date feedback” is extremely valuable when you’re dating for long-term commitment. According to Kaplan, it gives you the opportunity to take a step back and see the full picture with context, rather than making snap judgments based on feelings you have in the moment. It’s important for singles to “get out of their own way and seek out the slow burn,” she says. Again, it’s all about your willingness to play the long game.

We put together a list of questions you can ask yourself after a date to help you gain a clearer picture of how it really went. Check that out below.

Click here to download a printable version of this date evaluation form.

Experts:

Erika Kaplan, dating expert and senior matchmaker with Three Day Rule Matchmaking

Deborah J. Cohan, Ph.D., professor of sociology at the University of South Carolina-Beaufort