Have A Holly, Jolly Hookup, Like These 7 Women

Whenever November rolls around, there’s a predictable cascade of events: Sound systems will blast Mariah Carey, decorative wreaths will line the entrance to Trader Joe’s, and a general glee will hang in the pine-scented air. It’s not just the start of the holiday season — it’s the start of the horniest season. In these frigid months, hormones rage, mulled wine flows like water, and the holiday hookups abound.

Baby, haven’t you heard it’s cold outside? That nip in the air is license to suck on some chestnuts, stuff some stockings, and lick every last drop of eggnog from your lips, slowly and with lots of eye contact. It’s now acceptable — nay, encouraged — to stand suggestively beneath a mistletoe, let your flame burn for eight whole nights, and drop that thang like it’s the ball at midnight.

The holidays are for gathering — and whether it’s with strangers, lost loves, or current partners, from November through January, it always feels like a raunchy little romp is just one stiff mug of rum punch away. According to a recent survey by wellness company Everlywell, nearly 70% of singles have gotten particularly cozy while home for the holidays.

Take it from the following revelers, who know how to heat things up even as the temperature drops — and follow along below if you have a holiday hookup on this year’s wishlist.

Emmy, 28

For New Year’s, my friends and I went to a bar with a packed dance floor. I remember immediately spotting this woman from across the room and thinking she was the most beautiful person I’d ever seen. I had a couple drinks and eventually walked up to her. We stared at each other for a few seconds without saying anything. She was surrounded by this group of dudes, but I didn’t notice them. I leaned in and kissed her, and she kissed me back.

Then all of a sudden I felt this third person, some random guy, start kissing us both. I was honestly so confused and a part of me was pissed that this guy thought he could just insert himself into our makeout. But — and I hate to admit this! — it was also kind of hot.

Eventually we pulled apart, and the other woman told us to meet her outside so we could all go back to her place. I grabbed my things and told my friends I was leaving and rushed outside, but neither of them were out there. I went back in, a little dejected, and felt a tap on my shoulder. It was the guy. He said he couldn’t find the other woman but invited me to come back to his place anyway. I went with him and we hooked up, but I’ll always wonder what could have happened with that mystery girl.

Frankie, 28

I have a love of hooking up in public, especially in bathrooms. It was New Year’s Eve, and I went to this bar where a lot of my friends work. I told my boyfriend ahead of time that I wanted to have sex in the bathroom. He was worried that it was going to be obvious, but I was like, “We gotta do this first, before anything else.” We went downstairs into the bathroom and he ate me out. After we finished, we went back upstairs and just kept going on as normal, partying until midnight, and no one even knew it happened.

Alessandra, 29

I went out to a bar on New Year’s Eve with a few of my friends and went home with this very random guy. He was, like, very obsessed with my armpit hair. I think he literally licked my armpits. In the morning, as I was sneaking out to put on my shoes, I saw one of my friends who I’d gone out with the previous night creeping out from this guy’s roommate’s bedroom.

Chrissy, 29

I was coming home from college and hitting up all my sneaky links. I snuck into this one guy’s house (he lived in his family’s basement) who said I had to be quiet because his entire family was upstairs for Hanukkah. We started making out when he heard footsteps, and he told me to get under his bed. I Navy SEAL rolled off his bed and crawled underneath it. I overheard his conversation with his dad about coming upstairs to be with family. When the door shut, I crawled out and was like, “I gotta go.”

I snuck out the back through the gate and saw a bunch of shadows in the window, then heard someone say, “I think someone’s outside!” It was 20 degrees, and I didn’t have a jacket. I thought I was going to freeze to death in this man’s shrubbery. Eventually, I made a run for my car.

The next day, I went to another man’s family home. We were going at it in his living room, and he was trying to rip my clothes off. He pushed me a little with excitement, and I knocked the Christmas tree over. He lunged to catch it, but half the ornaments shattered on the floor. I accidentally forgot my T-shirt. The next morning, he told me his mom asked what happened to the Christmas tree, and he’d blamed it on Ringo, their cat. I never got my T-shirt back.

Malia, 30

Right before I left for college, I had been hooking up with an old friend from middle school who told me that, even though we were going to schools far apart, he wanted a relationship. We made plans for him to come visit at Thanksgiving, but within days of arriving at college, however, I told this boy that I didn’t want to be in a relationship.

Despite our awkward situation, he still flew to spend the holiday with me like we’d planned. I remember going to bed together in the family friend’s basement, stuffed with turkey and mashed potatoes, and having the weirdest, most lethargic sex, and knowing that we needed to go our separate ways for good.

Jemima, 31

During my senior year of college, my high school boyfriend’s best friend started DM’ing me and asked to hang out when I came home for the holidays. I always thought of him as an annoying, little-brother type, but I said sure. My best friend and I made plans to go to this Korean dessert spot, and we invited the guy and one of his friends to join. I offered to pick them up. When we got to his house, I heard a tap at the window and I rolled it down to reveal an incredibly handsome, mature-looking man — nothing like what I’d remembered. I instantly blushed. Afterward, I dropped him off at his place and drove home, thinking the whole way that I wished I’d made a move. When I got home, I texted him to say that. He said he felt the same. The next night, he went down on me for 20 minutes before we had sex. It was insanely hot.

Katrina*, 30

I had an incredibly traumatic first relationship in high school. During our first Christmas break in college, his best friend texted and asked me to hang out. He’d always been nice to me so I agreed. I went to his house that night, and we went in his hot tub in our underwear and then hooked up in his parents’ back house. Now my ex’s best friend will always have to remember me as one of his best hookups.

*Name has been changed