Knitting, baking, sewing, biking, gardening, birdwatching, camping — there’s an endless list of pastimes to fall in love with, so why is it so hard to find a hobby? While a lucky few can commit to Saturday morning kickball leagues and intricate crochet projects, a lot of people are left wondering why they don’t have a post-work passion.
On TikTok, the conversation about hobbies — or lack thereof — is ongoing. On April 3, creator @kellydell posted a video about trying several different options in her downtime, including reading, painting, and coloring, but noted that nothing ever kept her attention. It has over a million likes.
In the comments section, hundreds of people chimed in to say they haven’t found a hobby either. Some cited a lack of money, time, or energy. Quite a few noted their only interest is watching Netflix or scrolling TikTok, but they’re too embarrassed to admit it. Others said they hate it when someone asks what they do for fun. “NOTHING,” one person yelled.
The general consensus, though, was this: Finding a go-to activity is important, so you better get one ASAP. It’s why the search for “how to find a hobby” has hundreds of thousands of views on the app, and many share Kelly’s frantic tone.
Some worry about being judged. Others fear they’re wasting their potential, their creativity, or their day. But what if you never found a pastime... and that was OK?
So, You Think You Need A Hobby
On the surface, lacking hobbies might be perceived as a red flag, or even a moral failing. Some say it makes you seem boring, lazy, or one-dimensional. “There’s this idea that having hobbies makes you more well-rounded, accomplished, or even more interesting,” says Lauren Auer, LCPC, a therapist and founder of Steadfast Counseling, and it’s why so many people embark on the desperate search for something to fill their spare time.
Without a dedicated activity, you risk getting caught doing nothing on the couch, and that goes against the societal call to always be moving, making, and hustling. Dr. Caroline Fenkel, LCSW, a therapist and chief clinical officer at Charlie Health, says this is why some people prefer to have a project in front of them while they watch TV. “Hobbies can feel like a way to justify leisure time, but this pursuit can be more about proving to ourselves or others that we are living full, interesting lives,” she says.
According to the unwritten rules of hustle culture, your eight-hour workday should only be the start of what you accomplish in a 24-hour period. Besides working, sleeping, and exercising, you also need to have a hobby. A creative pursuit. Something interesting to talk about on a first date.
This is why many people go to book clubs, tennis lessons, and cooking classes. It’s why they fill their weekends with picture-perfect pursuits like softball games, pottery workshops, and trips to the craft store — even when they’d rather be doing something else at home.
These hobbies are noble because they produce something, like a ceramic bowl, a knitted blanket, a new skill — or even just an event to add to your calendar. The reality, though, is they often lead to a closet full of abandoned gear, half-finished projects, and possibly even feelings of failure when your commitment fizzles out.
“When approached from a place of stress or comparison, hobbies can end up being just another source of pressure.”
In many ways, Auer says there’s also a “dark side” of hobbies. For some, the endless search could be a way to avoid being alone with their thoughts versus doing something they truly enjoy, which might explain why certain activities never stick.
While some people feel fulfilled while rewatching a favorite show, listening to a podcast, or going on a long walk, others bounce from one pastime to the next so they never have a moment to think. “It’s a form of distraction disguised as self-improvement,” she says, “but ultimately, it doesn’t serve their well-being.”
It’s OK Not To Have Hobbies
While there’s nothing wrong with having a pastime, Auer says it’s a mistake to think finding one is 100% necessary, especially if the search feels unnatural, forced, or strenuous.
“When approached from a place of stress or comparison, hobbies can end up being just another source of pressure,” she says. Cue all those exasperated TikTok comments.
“Hobbies are about personal enrichment, not about proving something to others.”
There’s also a chance you already have a hobby without realizing it, like walking your dog, listening to music while you do your nails, or trying new restaurants with friends. “People have different ways of engaging with the world, and some may find fulfillment in less traditional ways,” says Fenkel.
If you’re tired or burnt out, opt out of the hobby race until something genuinely piques your interest. If that day never comes, don’t panic. As Auer says, “Rest is essential for our well-being, and sometimes the best thing we can do for ourselves is nothing at all.”
Sources:
Lauren Auer, LCPC, therapist, founder of Steadfast Counseling
Dr. Caroline Fenkel, LCSW, therapist, chief clinical officer at Charlie Health
