Sliding Into Someone’s DMs Can Lead To Love, But There Are Risks Involved

In the digital age, swiping left and right on dating apps has totally surpassed more traditional ways of finding "the one" – and became even more popular during the pandemic. With recent reports that artificial intelligence could have a major impact on the dating world, it's not hard to believe that some couples are now using sites originally meant for social networking to find love. But can you actually fall in love on social media?

The concept of finding love via social media is not as unlikely as it may sound. With instantaneous connections and the ability to scroll through someone's likes, dislikes, and their fave memes, it's pretty easy to find common interests with someone and to slide into their DMs to initiate a conversation. Even something as small as a like or a comment can actually lead to lasting relationships, as demonstrated by an English-American couple who met through Instagram.

Speaking to the Mail Online in 2015, London native Andrew Dearling was searching a hashtag for the video game Halo when he found — and proceeded to like — a snap of Nicole Drummond from Nashville. From there, the two began liking each other’s photos, which eventually led to the couple chatting on iMessage. This was in 2012 and just a year later Dearling proposed. The couple tied the knot in the summer of 2014, as per his Insta post at the time. And if you’re wondering, yes they’re still together and they had their first baby in April 2020. Basically, they’re the ultimate social media love story.

There are many other happy couples that have found love through social media. In fact, wedding site The Knot have even compiled a list of some examples of lasting social media love stories here.

However, there are some things to be wary of when you develop feelings for someone you met online. Speaking about the increase of couples finding love virtually, Michelle Begy, founder of Ignite Dating, encouraged people to pay close attention to the depth of their emotions. “It is possible to develop feeling with someone that you have not yet met in real life – but there is a big difference between real love and infatuation.”

To ensure that oxytocin boost isn’t skewing your perspective, Begy told Metro she advises “regular reflection with an outside party, [so] people can comprehend what they are feeling towards that potential partner…” So if in doubt, don’t be afraid to turn to someone you trust, as Begy explains that “this support helps the person to take a step back and analyse the relationship to keep proportion and balance and stop their feelings running away with them.”

Basically, if you find yourself forming a relationship through social media, you shouldn't solely base it through a screen. Seeing their face, hearing their voice, and eventually meeting them IRL will all help build a connection between you and your potential partner. You can't rely on DMs and instant messaging to form a relationship, especially when using social media can cause an increase in the "affection" hormone oxytocin, as Fast Company reports.

While the prospect of finding your future soulmate on Instagram or Twitter might sound like the plot of a rom-com, you shouldn't get in the habit of treating social media like a dating site. As the Huffington Post pointed out: "Social media is a great tool to meet interesting people and create relationships, but you must be smart about it." Finding love online comes with risks, as does dating on apps like Tinder or Bumble.

But the same could be said for dating IRL. Either way you've got to be vigilant and careful, making sure that the person you’re catching feelings for is really who they say they are.

And, of course, if you are planning to meet anyone IRL for the first time, let someone you trust know when and where you’re going, always meet in a public place, and ensure the situation is safe.