This Unique Twist On "Sleep Divorce" Is Dividing TikTok

Bunk beds are typically associated with siblings, summer camp, and military barracks — not loving, happy marriages. It’s tough to picture a long-term couple bunking up in their bedroom instead of cuddling in a king-sized mattress until morning, but that’s exactly what TikTok creator Casey Tayler and her husband Andy have opted to do.

On Nov. 11, the creator posted a now-viral video about the queen-sized bunk bed they share in their NYC studio as an alternative to a typical “sleep divorce,” when couples choose to snooze in completely separate beds or bedrooms. The video currently has nearly 700,000 likes and over 6,000 comments, and while lots of people seem to love the idea, others are completely turned off by it.

“Every time we talk about [our bunk bed] publicly, we get thousands of comments,” Casey said in her video. Many people can’t fathom not sleeping next to their SO. “A lot of people would say they would rather wake up in a sweating pool than be without their partner in the middle of the night.”

For the pro-sleep divorce crowd, the bunk beds seem genius. “I sleep so much better when my husband’s not in my bed,” one person wrote. Others said they like the idea of sleeping near a partner while not being directly next to them, especially if they run hot at night. Others were astonished — and intrigued — that queen-size bunk beds even exist. Here’s what experts have to say about this unique take on sleep divorce.

Sleeping In A Marital Bunk Bed

While it sounds dramatic, sleep divorce comes from a loving place. It’s a level-headed option for duos who have different sleep patterns, habits, or preferences — or for those who’ve never slept well next to someone, especially if they snore, sweat, or steal the blankets, says Dr. Shelby Harris, a licensed clinical psychologist, and director of sleep health at Sleepopolis.

The concept of seep divorce is becoming more common — there are millions of posts about it on TikTok — but the queen-sized bunk bed is a fresh take. According to Jessica Alderson, a relationship expert and co-founder of the dating advice platform So Syncd, one of the main positives of a bunk bed is that it enables you to easily chat with your SO before retreating to your private sanctuary of slumber, so it gives you the intimacy of a pre-bed routine.

“It’s giving perfect romantic fort.”

“It also has the added benefit that you still feel like you have a shared space and it's not that one person is visiting the other's room,” she tells Bustle. “Not that there's anything wrong with that either, but it's just about finding something that works for you.”

On TikTok, Casey says she has the bottom bunk while her husband has the top. They’ll cuddle in his before Casey climbs into her own space where she happily sleeps with her cat.

“It’s giving perfect romantic fort,” one person said in the comments, while another wrote, “This is literally the best thing I've ever seen. Sending to my husband.” Others asked if Casey and Andy ever end up sleeping together some nights. “Nah haha it’s not our thing,” she replied. “He’s a back sleeper and I’m a side sleeper, the vibes just don’t vibe for us! We prefer our space. We do nap together sometimes though! We love that mid-day crash cuddle!”

According to Harris, the bunk bed is the perfect compromise. “It allows each partner more space to spread out, eliminate fights over the covers, and reduce disturbances from movements,” she says. “For some people, it can also bring a sense of fun or novelty, which might lighten the mood around navigating sleep differences.”

The Downside Of Sleep Divorce Bunkbeds

While the sleep bunk bed trick works perfectly for Casey and Andy, who do it to avoid getting too hot at night, Harris says it might not be the perfect fit for every couple. “While bunk beds solve some problems, they may not address others, like snoring or noise disturbances,” she says. “Climbing up and down could also be inconvenient or even risky for some.” Just imagine a partner clambering down at 2 a.m. to go to the bathroom and shaking the whole bed.

Other issues, like different sleep schedules or one person wanting to fall asleep to a show or a bright screen, could make the bunk bed sitch less than ideal. “It also doesn't solve issues with conflicts related to messiness — having separate rooms can reduce arguments about things like left-out clothes,” says Alderson, explaining why some couples may choose to have their own space.

If these are the reasons you want a sleep divorce, the queen-size bunk bed hack might not work. But judging by the thousands of positive responses to Casey’s TikTok, it looks like these beds might be a hot commodity soon.

Sources:

Dr. Shelby Harris, licensed clinical psychologist, director of sleep health at Sleepopolis

Jessica Alderson, relationship expert, co-founder of So Syncd