There’s something so real about seeing a kid have a tantrum in public. They’ll throw themselves to the ground in the grocery store, shriek so loudly the whole city can hear, and turn red just because they didn’t get their way. While this reaction is fair game for children, wouldn’t it be nice to throw a similar tantrum as an adult?
On Oct. 9, TikTok creator @ani_d_music, who is a somatic and vocal release practitioner per her bio, posted a list of ways to release your rage, and one tip was “throw a tantrum.” When a kid is angry, they tend to stomp their feet, jump up and down, and yell at the top of their lungs — and you can do the same to release frustration, anxiety, and pent-up energy as a grownup.
“The most important parts of getting this energy out of your system is to use your body and use your voice,” she said in the viral video, which has over 46,000 likes. Once kids let it all out, they’re more relaxed, ready for a snack, and in need of a nap. And honestly? Adults could use a little more of that energy.
Other creators have suggested similar exercises, often called somatic release techniques, like @amandabucciofficial, who posted a somatic shaking practice that regulates your nervous system. In her video, which has over 11,000 likes, she jumps up and down while shaking out her arms, shoulders, legs, and hips. Here’s what to know about these “adult tantrums,” and how to give them a try.
The Benefits Of Throwing A Tantrum
If you’re on the verge of a fatigue-induced meltdown, feeling anxious after a meeting, or completely frustrated following a long and stressful week, you might need to channel your inner child. According to Kristie Tse, a psychotherapist and founder of Uncover Counseling, the grownup version of a two-year-old’s tantrum would be a safe, controlled release of emotions.
“It can be as simple as having a private space where you scream into a pillow or punch a soft mattress,” she tells Bustle. “This physical release can also include stomping around the room or listening to loud music while vocalizing your frustrations.”
When you stomp, yell, and wring your hands, you’re effectively expelling tension and regulating your emotions similar to how kids express themselves, says Tse, who recommends the practice for anyone experiencing anxiety, stress, sadness, or overwhelming feelings. And it can also help reset your nervous system.
“These actions help expel built-up tension.”
Somatic release is based on the idea that your body stores energy and emotions, and the only way to let it out is through these shaky, jumpy movements. “The physicality involved allows emotions that are trapped within the body to find an outlet, offering relief and a grounding effect,” says Tse.
Of course, the crying and shrieking is also key. “When you scream into a pillow or yell while driving, it’s an intentional pause and outburst in a setting where you feel safe,” she says. If venting to a friend or overthinking hasn’t helped, it might be time to tantrum.
How To Tastefully Throw A Tantrum
While a tantrum might come to you quite naturally, especially if you’ve officially had it, experts have a few tips for getting going, including ways to freak out that won’t feel too chaotic or loud.
Dance With Abandon
Besides stomping your feet, kicking a pillow, or punching the air while envisioning whatever’s making you mad, Tse also recommends dancing and gyrating to send energy out of your body while releasing endorphins. “Dancing freely to music lets the body move without constraints, unblocking tension and facilitating a somatic release,” she says.
Scribble
Painting, coloring, or scribbling can also transform agonizing thoughts into a physical release, she says. Don’t worry about creating art, but instead focus on pressing down hard with your colored pens as a way to let out your anger.
Throw A Ball
If you have a tennis ball and an open wall, try giving it a toss. “Slamming a rubber ball against the wall provides a rhythmic outlet that helps regulate strong emotions,” Tse adds.
Scream Into A Pillow
Nothing beats singing loudly in your car or unleashing an uninhibited, primal scream into a field, but if you don’t want to hurt your throat — or scare your neighbors — @ani_d_music recommends bellowing into a pillow. “Just as effective, and it’s free,” she says.
When To Have A Meltdown
Just like a kid who will have a meltdown whenever it feels right, you can throw a tantrum anytime you want to release pent-up energy — as long as you excuse yourself from your Zoom meeting first. It can also become a part of your wellness routine, especially if you’re going through a tough time, like a breakup.
“Treating this as a regular practice, like a mental ‘reset,’ can actually prevent emotions from building up,” says Dr. Caroline Fenkel, LCSW, a therapist and chief clinical officer at Charlie Health. “Even a mini tantrum a few times a week can help you feel less weighed down.”
Try it when you finish up work or during your Sunday reset to chase away jitters before the week starts, and don’t be afraid to let it all out. “Honestly, the more you let go — within a safe and private space — the more effective the release tends to be,” says Fenkel.
Sources:
Kristie Tse, psychotherapist, founder of Uncover Counseling
Dr. Caroline Fenkel, LCSW, therapist, chief clinical officer at Charlie Health
