The "4B Movement" Explains Why Some Women Are Completely Swearing Off Men

If you’ve taken a break from dating, climbed out of the marriage pool, or daydreamed about what it would be like to decenter men from your life, then it’s possible you’ve seen TikToks about the 4B movement on your FYP. The hashtag has thousands of videos, and even more are popping up in light of the Nov. 5 election results.

ICYMI, 4B started as a feminist movement in South Korea around 2018, and it’s been gaining traction ever since on social media platforms around the world. Its name represents the “four nos” that its proponents uphold: they say no to dating men, getting married, having kids, and having sex.

In Korean, these words all start with the prefix “bi,” which translates to “no” in English: biyeonae (no dating men), bihon (no marrying men), bichulsan (no having children with men), and bisekseu (no having sex with men).

In the United States, gender has been a particularly contentious topic lately as Vice President Kamala Harris campaigned to be the first woman to hold this country’s highest office. This week’s election saw 54% of men vote for President-elect Donald Trump, who has used misogynistic language to describe Harris (among others), been accused of sexual misconduct by at least 26 women, and elected three Supreme Court justices who voted to overturn Roe v. Wade. On Oct. 30, he said that “whether the women like it or not, I'm going to protect them.”

Similar to the 2017 #MeToo movement, 4B aims to highlight the experiences of women, start a conversation about what’s wrong with the patriarchy, and shed light on this type of rhetoric and the equalities within heterosexual relationships. According to the movement’s proponents, heterosexual dating often unfairly benefits men, and it’s why some women are happily choosing to be alone instead.

The 4B Movement On TikTok

While the movement has been around for years, it’s currently going viral following Trump’s re-election. On Nov. 6, creator @rabbitsandtea shared she was joining the 4B movement as a way to stand up for her rights, while @annashlap said her sadness about the election was quickly morphing into rage — and her video already has over 550,000 likes. “Is the 4B movement next?” she asked.

In a similar TikTok, which already has over 65,000 likes, @carlabezanson said that she likes her coffee like she likes her men — while dumping it down the drain. In her comments, one person said, “Men and coffee both flare my IBS” while another wrote, “I feel this more than ever today.” Another commenter said, “As a man I respect this and your honesty.”

Understanding The 4B Movement

While this might sound extreme to some, for others, 4B makes sense considering what women’s lives with men — as their sexual partners, romantic partners, and co-parents — often look like, said Nicole Dular, an assistant professor of philosophy at Notre Dame of Maryland University, in a September blog post about the movement. “Fortunately, there are a plethora of studies on these exact interactions; unfortunately, they spell out quite a dismal picture.”

Dular points to studies that have found that women perform more emotional labor than men in their relationships and that up to 80% of women fake orgasms, with 92% of women doing so to protect their partner’s ego. Proponents of 4B note that women perform unpaid physical labor at home almost twice as often as men do, and are often forced to cope with their partner’s weaponized incompetence. Studies have also shown that single women are way happier than women who are married to men — for all these reasons and more.

No gender is a monolith, but many women have decided enough is enough. They plan to take their power back by joining this movement, posting about it on TikTok, and spreading the word that you don’t actually have to engage with men if you don’t want to. For some, it’s time to opt out.