Emeraude Toubia Is Not Afraid To Risk It All

A few minutes past 5:30 p.m., I ring Emeraude Toubia, known to many for her role as Isabelle Lightwood on Freeform's Shadowhunters. Her voice is cheery through the phone, even as it goes in and out from our spotty connection. "Can you hear me?" she asks optimistically when we finally get a solid line. Crystal clear, which coincidentally also describes how focused she's been on pursuing her lifelong aspiration of performing.

"I feel so grateful to do what I do," she says. "That little girl had so many dreams, and that little girl is happy now." The path to achieving one’s goals isn’t always linear, however, and it often requires taking some risks — that’s what this conversation, in partnership with European Wax Center, is all about. As Toubia began her career, she had some tough choices to make. First on the list was leaving behind Miami, the city where she started her on-camera work. "I felt that there was more for me," she says. "I had bigger dreams, and I wanted to pursue them." That meant moving to Los Angeles without much besides determination, talent, and naturally, some hesitation.

"Our biggest enemy is fear," says Toubia. "I thought to myself, I am not going to let that stop me. The 'no' is already there. So I'm going to pack up my things, say bye to my colleagues, and decide to start all over again — with nothing in my pockets but my drive and my dreams." With limited resources both professionally and financially, Toubia faced her share of no moments. But she took them in stride and focused on flipping them into yes moments.

"I got here [to Los Angeles], and I was in acting class, and it was audition after audition," which she says ended with more nos. "People were telling me to my face that I did good but then were telling my manager that I did a horrible job. There was a time where I thought to myself, This is not for me."

As I talk to Toubia, I get the sense that she is not someone who lets the naysayers keep her down for long. She explains that she had a moment of clarity and confidence — to let go of the outcome and just focus on having fun. "Why should I let booking a job, which is obviously great, why should that validate my worth? I need to be validating my work every single day, because I know that I’m growing." Soon after this revelation, of course, she landed her first job.

Now Toubia is on television. She’s in magazines. It’s tempting to assume this is where the story ends. But success isn’t the absence of doubt, and finding comfort in one’s own skin is a constantly evolving journey. "I honestly always feel insecure, even when I'm on or off camera," she says. "Whether you want to go on a date or a job interview, you're always [asking], 'Am I good enough?' You constantly have to overcome those thoughts, because they’re never going to go away."

Confidence, as the cure for self-doubt, comes in many forms. It’s Toubia’s mantras: "Sometimes, you just have to love and hug yourself and [say], 'I am enough. I’m going to be free and let my personality come through, because that is what’s going to make me me.'" It’s gratitude. It’s self-care. "I feel like we're always trying to find secrets to having great skin or a great body," says Toubia. "There is no secret to anything. I think it's being consistent. Washing your face before bed, drinking a lot of water, and maintaining a healthy work-life balance."

It’s taking time with the things and people you love. For Toubia, that includes cooking (she’s been mastering her grandmother’s flan recipe), reading (Jorge Ramos’s The Gift of Time), and talking to her mom. "She is a powerful woman," says Toubia. "She is the one that picks me up and keeps pushing me to just be me."

Perhaps most valuably, it’s stepping outside of your comfort zone and taking risks that lead to the deepest understandings of self-confidence. When commenting to Bustle about a magazine cover she posed nude for, Toubia says:

I was filled with all these insecurities, and it wasn’t until the moment I walked onto set that I realized how important it was to say, 'This is me in all that I am and in all that I make of myself. I accept and love my body as it is.' I wanted every young woman who saw this magazine to revel in who they already are, to take control and command of what they can be. We are enough! Everything else that you think you need is a substitute for your fears and insecurities. Self-love is boundless, endless.

As we close our conversation, Toubia drops one more gem that I think we can all add to our collection of daily reminders. "We only live once," she says with the same optimism she started the call with. "Live life to the fullest." While this might read as a cliché, Toubia is proof that leaning into our fears is where life begins, and it takes us to our greatest potential (even when there are bumps in the road).

Click below to watch the video of Toubia from her Bustle photo shoot.

This post is sponsored by European Wax Center.

Photographer: Chris Ozer; Makeup Artist: Melissa Hernandez; Hair Stylist: Carly Walters; Wardrobe Stylist: Sophie Lopez; Art Director: Molly Kugelmann; Production Lead: Kelsey Dimitruk; Branded Beauty Lead: Lexi Novak