‘grown-ish’ Nailed Why Ditching Your Friends For A Partner Is NEVER A Good Idea

Dating in no college is no easy feat. But if you’re like Zoey on Freeform’s grown-ish (executive producer: Julie Bean), once you get the hang of it everything is breezy. Until it's not. Ever since their tutoring session, Zoey and her star basketball bae Cash Mooney have been inseparable. Unfortunately, their bliss came to a screeching halt in the aptly titled "Cashin' Out," episode of grown-ish. Through their implosion, the show sheds light on the struggle of young women balancing love and friendship.

In college, there aren't any parents around to monitor how much time you spend with your significant other — or how much you talk about them. For Zoey the last few weeks (and episodes) have revolved around nothing but her love life with Cash (Abraham D. Juste). And, like viewers, Zoey's friends were initially happy for her finding love — especially after that whole Aaron-Luca FaceTime incident. But much to their dismay, Cash soon became all Zoey could talk about. And the only one enjoying the "all Cash, all the time" talk was Vivek.

In Episode 5, the group tries to break the news gently to Zoey that she's spiraling out of control and becoming too wrapped up in Cash's world. But that intervention falls on deaf ears, with Zoey getting pretty defensive about her relationship. Even a surprise visit and subsequent lecture from her mom can't convince Zoey that maybe things were moving too fast between she and Cash.

Therefore, it's not too surprising when a fed up Nomi finally lets Zoey know how selfish she's been over the last few weeks. And while it may be heartbreaking to watch Zoey and one of the members of her girl squad go at each other, many of us can relate to their conversation and to Nomi's feelings of being forgotten.

At some point everyone has experienced this moment: when you're dying to see your friend or update them about what's happening in your own life, only to be brushed off or downright ignored because they're so wrapped up in their new partner. A 2015 survey of 1,000 people by Not4Dating, found that people were more likely to lose friends when entering into a relationship than during a breakup.

But not only can this disappearing act be incredibly annoying for the BFF left behind, it can also be detrimental to the health of the woman in love. In fact, a study conducted by the UCLA School of Medicine found that when we're with our girlfriends, our bodies emit the "feel good" hormone oxytocin, key for reducing stress. While it might be easy to cancel on girls' nights and instead spend quality time with bae, prioritizing female friendships and spending time with them allows women to take advantage of this natural stress reliever.

Just think about how stressed out and unfocused Zoey's been since she's gotten to college and rearranged her life around guys. (Remember that whole Addy spiral and botched Ruth Bader Gainsburg paper?) Some actual girl time might've helped her get her life together. As the research suggests, women need to build and maintain these bonds with other women to protect their well-being, and therefore shouldn't ditch their friends for "pinga," as Ana so eloquently put it.

Luckily, the tiff between Zoey and Nomi doesn't last too long. After Zoey and Cash officially break up, Nomi stumbles into Zoey's room looking to borrow Ana's jacket, but instead finds her friend in tears. Zoey apologizes for being so selfish, and Nomi forgives her while also telling Zoey that everything will be alright in no time — and research actually agrees. In a study, Harvard Medical School researchers found that women who had close friends were more likely to avoid experiencing any physical repercussions from losing their spouses or other traumatic life events.

So while it certainly won't be easy for Zoey to get over Cash — especially after she was willing to give up her entire life to be with him — having friends by her side will hopefully make the pain easier to cope with. Let's just hope Zoey returns this kindness and helps Nomi through her heartache as well. Science confirms that it makes a difference.

Editor's note: After publication, we discovered this article did not meet our editorial standards: There were portions that did not correctly attribute another source. It has been updated to meet our standards.