When you look forward to 2017 and what you want to accomplish in your relationships, it may be time to get less creative about sex. In fact, certified sexuality counselor Ian Kerner explained to CNN that your New Year's Resolution should be to schedule your sex life. I know that it doesn't sound like the exciting, spontaneous sex life that a lot of us dream about, but for some people, it really works. If sex is something you let slip away from you, then sticking to a schedule is a great way to keep your sex life going.
"Set a reminder," sex and relationship counselor Julie Jeske tells Bustle. "It sounds silly and not very 'sexy,' but the truth is, people are so busy that sex and pleasure can often fall off the radar... People really want sex and desire to be spontaneous, and often worry that scheduling something will take the passion or mystery out of it. However, we schedule anything else that is important to us — doctors visits, exercise, time with friends."
And just because you're scheduling it, doesn't mean it has to feel like a boring task. In fact, there are plenty of way to spice things up while checking it off your to-do list.
So here are five ways to make scheduling sexy, because being organized is anything but boring:
1Have A Code Word
Come up with a fun way to refer to your scheduled sex, then you can write it in your calendar and refer to it all the time — even in front of people— without them knowing. It can be a fun dirty secret, hiding in plain sight.
2Take Turns Initiating
If you know that sex is on the menu, you can take turns with who initiates it. Maybe you plan it on Sundays and your partner does it on Thursday, but taking turns is way more fun than one person always reminding the other it's sex time.
3Keep The Time The Same... But Mix Up Everything Else
Just because you plan to have sex every Friday, doesn't mean it has to be the same. You can try new positions, new places, new toys, new dynamics. Hell, you can even include that as part of your scheduling. But make sure to keep things spicy while you're sticking to the routine.
4Maximize The Build Up
Foreplay can happen throughout the day, with simple sexts or even a comment in the morning about how much you're looking forward to that night. When you know sex is on the cards, it's even more fun to build slowly up to it — you'll both be feeling more than ready by the time you get home.
5Don't Limit Yourself To A Schedule
Sure, those are the times that you're definitely going to have sex — and you should stick to it. But you don't need to only stick to it. Adding in some extra sessions will keep your schedule from being anything but boring. And those will feel extra spontaneous because they weren't on the calendar.
Even though scheduling sex may seem anything but sexy, it's actually a great tool for enhancing your sex life. By doing so, you're making your sex life a priority — and what's hotter than that?
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