Life
14 People Reveal The Best Way To Get Over An Ex
There are very few things that are worse than trying to figure out how to get over a breakup for the first time. Whether you're the one who got dumped or did the dumping, you're going to be experiencing tons of conflicting emotions — sadness, anger, fear, relief — that are hard to untangle and navigate your way through. And sadly, no matter how many breakups you've been through, they don't really get any easier — so you just have to learn how to deal with them in the way that works best for you.
In a recent AskReddit thread, users revealed their tried-and-true tricks for getting over a breakup — from hitting the gym to the classic "get under someone else" method. There's no right or wrong way to move on from a relationship: every relationship is different, so naturally every breakup will be painful in its own way. All you can do is give it time and allow yourself to grieve.
"Grieve the loss, cry, and get angry," psychotherapist Barbara Neitlich, LCSW, tells Bustle. "Yell and stomp around, eat too much ice cream, and call your best girlfriends over for support. Be in the moment and feel the pain." If you're currently going through a breakup (or still getting over an old one), here are 14 pieces of advice for the newly single, courtesy of the wise people of Reddit.
2Let Go Of The Past
Instead of wallowing, just continue on with your life as normal. Be kind to yourself, and eventually, letting go of the past (and your ex) will come naturally.
3Don't Force Yourself To Forget Your Ex Right Away
When you've just broken up, of course you're going to still have lingering feelings for your ex. Don't try to bury those feelings or convince yourself you actually feel differently: just accept the situation and let yourself feel.
4Give It Time
It might not be what you want to hear, but sometimes there's no magic trick to getting over a breakup — you just have to give yourself time to recover.
5Remember Why You Broke Up
It won't do you any good to look back on your relationship through rose-colored glasses. Instead, cherish the good memories while still keeping the negative stuff in mind, too.
6Surround Yourself With Friends
You never have to go through the tough parts of life alone: that's what friends are for! In your low moments, call up some friends who can either listen to you vent or take you out and distract you with some fun.
7Reach Out For Help
It can be tempting to bottle up your feelings after a breakup, but you shouldn't hesitate to reach out to friends, family, or even a therapist to talk through your emotions. You'll feel much better when it's all out in the open.
8Accept Your Feelings
It's normal to be confused by your own thoughts right after a breakup. If you find yourself surprised by how you're feeling — maybe you're more relieved than you thought you'd be — don't feel guilty: just accept how you're feeling and ask yourself why.
9Practice Self-Care
Don't forget to take care of yourself after a breakup. Do the things you love to do, eat your favorite foods, or make a playlist of songs that make you happy.
10Have A Random Hookup
To be totally honest, this is not a strategy that works for everyone, so beware. But if you think you can separate your emotions from your physical desires, then a one-night-stand might be just the thing you need.
11Go No-Contact
Going no-contact after a breakup isn't the right choice for everyone, but if you find yourself pining over your ex and are constantly tempted to call or text them, it might be smart to block them so it's easier for you to move on.
12Make Yourself Laugh
Laughter is the best medicine, even for a broken heart. If you're having a down-in-the-dumps sort of day, queue up some stand-up by your favorite comedian and let yourself laugh.
13Bake Something Yummy
Even if you just slap some premade cookie dough onto a baking sheet, literally treating yourself post-breakup might bring your spirits up. And if you attempt something more complex (like a pie from scratch), you'll have hours worth of delicious, therapeutic distraction.
14Enjoy Being Single
Instead of immediately jumping into a new relationship, take some time to be alone and enjoy the single life.
Going through a breakup is always going to be a rough time, but if you allow yourself time to grieve and aren't afraid to let yourself feel all the emotions you're experiencing, in time, you'll be ready to find love again.
