Good sex may be hard to come by initially, but it can definitely be in the cards if you're willing to open yourself up and be honest with your partner about your wants and needs. Although good sex doesn't always result in an orgasm, as it's the journey that really matters. But what does that journey look like?
To find out what the hell good sex looks like in 2018, Match's eighth annual Singles in America report surveyed over 5,000 single Americans, ages 18-70+, of all ethnicities and sexual orientations to get their input on dating, relationships, love, and, of course, sex.
According to Match's Scientific Advisor, Dr. Justin Garcia, good sex is about communication, enthusiasm, and consent. And, because practice makes perfect, the more you have sex with someone, the better it gets.
"As the relationship evolves, you both become more in tune with each other, making it is easier to be more intuitive about each other’s needs," Behavioral Scientist, Clarissa Silva, tells Bustle. "The beauty is that you won’t have to negotiate what you might need, your partner will just act on it."
Good sex may be hard to come by initially, but it can definitely be in the cards if you're willing to open yourself up and be honest with your partner about your wants and needs.
Here's what good sex looks like to singles in 2018, according to Match's survey.
1The Majority Want A Caring And Enthusiastic Partner
What makes for good sex? A partner who cares and wants to be there — which, of course, makes sense. According to the study, 83 percent of those surveyed put caring and enthusiasm above all else when it comes to having good sex.
2Communication Is Still Paramount
Although it didn't find itself in the top spot, for 78 percent of those polled, good communication plays a major roll in good sex. If you can't talk about what you want in bed or don't want to talk about what you want, things are surely going to fall flat.
3You Can't Have Good Sex Without A Good Kiss
Oh, good kissing! While what makes for a great kiss varies from person to person, depending on their preferences, when you meet someone who kisses like you, it's one of the most magical things on the planet. And, because sex involves kissing, 76 percent of those surveyed said good sex must include good kissing.
For 62 percent of people, bad kissing equals bad sex.
4An Orgasm Would Be Nice For Most
Yes, sex is about the journey, but an orgasm would be nice, wouldn't it? For 75 percent, good sex involves having an orgasm, but if you can't achieve an orgasm during intercourse, that's extremely common and more than OK. You just might need extra attention to certain parts of your body, and communicating can definitely help in this area.
5Keep The Talking To A Minimum
For 82 percent of those surveyed, a lot of talking is what can make any chance of good sex be bad. Although the survey didn't specify if talking dirty to your partner counted as "too much talking," it might be safe to assume that it doesn't. But as for communication, you can do a whole boatload of communicating without words, although using your words is never a bad thing — and never let anyone convince you otherwise.
6Passion Is A Must
When you go to bed with someone, you want to feel the heat of the moment — and intense passion that you're being desired just as much as you're desiring your partner. Because this is just a staple to good sex, for 74 percent of singles, if there's no passion, sex is put in the "bad" category.
7Singles Want Movement
While no one is expecting anyone to pull out a gymnastics routine in bed, 63 percent of those surveyed said bad sex is when there's "little movement." Wanna get moving? Don't be afraid to try different sex positions, different places, and different roles, too.
8Sex Gets Better With Age
Although most of us have heard it before, that sex gets better with age, Match's survey confirms it once again. According to their findings, women 66 years of age and men 64 years of age are having the best sex. It's nice to know that age offers something to which we can look forward.
9Most People Want To Give A Threesome A Try
When it comes to threesomes, 62 percent of those surveyed are open to the idea, with men, at 81 percent, being more open than women, at 47 percent. As for who they'd like to have this threesome with — MMF versus FFM — 39 percent of straight singles are interested in a threesome with someone of their own gender. Looks like some people will be crossing this off their sexual bucket list in 2018.
10Women Have Higher Expectations When It Comes To Sex
While both men and women agreed that great sex isn't always a guarantee the first time around, 14 percent of singles said bad sex the first time is a dealbreaker — where's your hope for future romps, people?
However, because sometimes bad sex the first time is inevitable — I mean, you're just getting to know the person after all — singles "expect partners to develop 'good sex'" after a few rounds. But women are 70 percent less tolerant of bad sex than men.
11Robot Sex Is Appealing To Some
Since robot sex appears to be eminent, Match just had to inquire about who'd be down to have sex with a robot and who wouldn't. What they found was that one in four singles would have sex with a robot and almost half of singles would consider it cheating if their partner had sex with a robot.
There's no doubt that sex is changing, evolving (robots, people!), and openness is definitely on the rise. These are all important things. So get your communication skills amped, your kissing skills in order, grab a third buddy, and prepare for a year of great sex.
