Life
What Women *Really* Fantasize About
If you've ever wondered what the most common female masturbation fantasies are, you're definitely not alone — being curious about what turns other people on is just part of human nature. In honor of National Masturbation Month, global sex toy retailer Lovehoney conducted a survey of 4,500 people about their masturbation habits and fantasies, and the results prove that self-pleasure is just as popular with women as it is with men.
According to the study, 51 percent of women masturbate regularly (even while they're in a relationship), which is only a bit less compared to their male counterparts — 59 percent of men said they masturbate regularly. Plus, a whopping 69 percent of the women surveyed by Lovehoney said that masturbation is a mood-booster for them, and 34 percent feel that masturbation improves their overall sex lives.
No matter why you like to do it, one of the best things about masturbation is that there's no right or wrong way to go about it; you just need to do whatever feels best for you. According to Emily Morse, Doctor of Human Sexuality and host of the Sex With Emily podcast, the key to having great solo sex (especially for women) is to get your brain on board first.
"Remember that arousal starts in your head and works its way down," Morse tells Bustle. "If your mind is good and turned on, it won’t be long until the rest of your body follows suit. To get that big sexy brain on board, start exploring your fantasies and finding new mental triggers that can fuel your self-love sessions."
Masturbation is a great way to get to know your own body and learn your sexual likes and dislikes, so don't be afraid to explore some of your wilder fantasies during "me time." If you're curious about what other women are aroused by, here are the top five female masturbation fantasies according to the Lovehoney survey.
1A Sexual Situation Involving Current Partner
According to the Lovehoney survey, by far the most common masturbation fodder for both men and women was thinking about a sexual situation with their current partner. Sixty percent of the women surveyed by Lovehoney said they imagine a ~sexy~ moment they've had with their current S.O. while masturbating — which is actually pretty adorable.
2A Sexual Situation With A Previous Partner
On the flip side, sometimes your mind can wander to unexpected territory when turned on. Thinking about an ex while you masturbate can feel like 'cheating' on your current S.O. and leave you wracked with guilt — but it's actually super common. Lovehoney found that 48 percent of women think about a sexual encounter with a previous partner while masturbating, which is nothing to be ashamed of. As long as it's strictly fantasy, there's no reason to feel like you're betraying your current partner.
3Erotica Seen Online Or Via Mobile Device
When you run out of real-life material to fantasize about, there's no shame in turning to the internet for inspiration. Lovehoney found that 43 percent of women pleasure themselves while thinking about some kind of erotica they found online, whether that's a particularly hot porn scene or a tantalizing passage from some erotic literature.
4A Sexual Situation Involving BDSM
Speaking of erotic literature, it seems that women are still under the spell of Fifty Shades after all this time: Lovehoney's survey revealed that 34 percent of women masturbate while thinking about a BDSM-inspired scenario. While the Fifty Shades series got some things wrong about BDSM, it's still worth celebrating that it's helped kink become less taboo and more openly discussed.
5A Sexual Situation Involving Role Play
Another common female fantasy? Becoming someone else entirely! Lovehoney found that 25 percent of women imagine a role-play scenario whenever they masturbate. Although it might take a little getting used to, getting into character and role-playing with your partner can open a whole new world of sexual possibilities. And if you're not totally sold yet, exploring that fantasy through masturbation can help you get more comfortable.
Ultimately, it doesn't matter what other women masturbate to — all that matters is that you enjoy yourself. Masturbation is the best way to explore your sexuality, become more confident in bed, and improve partnered sex, too. So what are you waiting for? All throughout May, use National Masturbation Month as an excuse to literally love yourself, and hopefully indulge some fun new fantasies in the process!
