What noises do you make during sex? Some people are all about the moans and the dirty talk, while others are the silent type. There's a huge range in the type of noises that people make and, it turns out, in the type of noises people find sexy in bed.
Saucydates.com, a casual dating site, surveyed 5,024 of their users about what sounds they found hot in the bedroom and the results were really interesting. Some noises turned almost everyone on, but others didn't fare so well. But before we drive into them, it's important to remember that you should never force yourself to make (or not make) any noises in the bedroom. Just because moaning might be considered "sexy" to some people doesn't mean you should start imitating a porn star. You need to do what feels right for you in the moment.
Really, the most important noise in the bedroom is good communication — no matter what form that comes in. It might be dirty talk, moaning, or just a straight-up conversation, but communicating is one of the best things you can do for your sex life.
"Knowing what you want and being able to express that will ignite things in the bedroom," Sarah Watson, sex therapist and counselor, tells Bustle. "Talk with your partner about what turns you on and what doesn't. Decide how to explore wants and desires together. The more intimacy in the relationship generally leads to a healthy sexual relationship." If you're communicating to your partner what you like or don't like, what you want, and what you need, then you're doing it right.
If you're curious about what people find sexy during sex, here are the noises that turn people on, according to the survey.
1Moans
Moaning seems to be an almost universal truth in the bedroom — incredibly popular with both men and women. In fact, a whopping 90 percent of men liked to hear their partner moan — which is a staggering figure. It wasn't quite as popular among women. A not as large (but still sizable) 77.6 percent of women said that they like to hear their partner moan.
It's easy to see why moaning is so popular. For people who are a little scared of dirty talk or making too much noise, moaning is an easy way to show your appreciation — or to encourage more of what you like.
2Dirty Talk
First comes moans, then comes dirty talk. That old chestnut was also popular with pretty much everyone — most people seem to like a bit of dirty talk, at least in moderation. In fact, 76.8 percent of men said that they enjoyed it and 73.5 percent of women agreed.
Some people find dirty talk a little unnatural, but there are lots of different ways to go about it. Although it can be awkward to get into at first, there are plenty of ways to do dirty talk without feeling uncomfortable, if you want to give it a try. If you don't like it, don't worry.
3Heavy Breathing
"Heavy breathing" sounds a little like what a murderer waiting outside your door would be doing, but I'm sure they mean it in the sexier sense. Interestingly, this was one of the noises that men and women seemed to diverge on a bit. More than half of men — 60.1 percent — said that they were into it, which is obviously a hefty appreciation. But less than half of women — 45.9 percent — said the same. Maybe it's the phrasing of it, because "heavy breathing" doesn't really sell it very well, but it seems to be pretty divisive, as far as bedroom noises go.
4Screaming
Screaming is another area where people have a range of feelings. Apparently for men, screaming in bed (the joyful kind) was a 50/50 split — some people are all about it, while others aren't so into it. For women, they were pretty staggeringly against screaming in the bedroom. In fact, only 36.2 percent said it was their thing.
In a way, this isn't surprising. Screaming is the kind of thing that can happen naturally in a really sexy way — or it's something that can be a little over the top and forced, especially if the sex is actually a little lackluster. It's better to stay authentic, especially in the bedroom.
5Swearing
If you thought swearing was a party of dirty talk, then think again. Apparently swearing and dirty talk aren't the same thing at all — and you can tell because swearing was way less popular than talking dirty.
While around three-quarters of people liked dirty talk, only 38.6 percent of men and 31.2 percent of women said that swearing did it for them. So if you're easing your way into dirty talk, you may want to stay away from swearing, at least at the beginning. You can always work up to it, but it's not going to be everybody's thing.
6Squeaking
I didn't know that squeaking during sex was a real thing, but everybody's different — and, let's be honest, sometimes unexpected things can happen in the bedroom and then you just ride that wave. Squeaking isn't the most common noise in the world, but it's also not the most popular. Only 17.9 percent of men and 14.8 percent of women said that it's a turn-on.
Maybe it's because when you hear the word "squeaking" you automatically start to think of mice and chipmunks — or at least I do — but I'm sure some people manage to do it in a sexy way.
7Silence
Now, silence gets a bad rap, but 12.8 percent of women said they liked it being totally quiet during sex. And 8.3 percent of men agreed. So just because it may not be everyone's thing, doesn't mean it can't be yours. Strong and silent is totally fine.
When it comes to noises during sex, whatever feels natural for you is always going to be your best bet. As long as you're communicating about your sexual needs, in any way, shape, or form, you're doing something right.
This article was first published on February 23, 2018. It was updated on August 12, 2019.
