Books

The Stephen King Book Guaranteed To Scare Your Zodiac Sign

by K.W. Colyard

Looking for your next horror novel? I know which Stephen King book you should read next, based on your zodiac sign, and I've listed them all for you below. With dozens of novels and short-story collections under his belt, Stephen King has written at least one thing — and, let's face it, probably many things — that will terrify each and every zodiac sign. Even if you aren't into reading your horoscopes and using your tarot cards, you're going to love the Stephen King book I've got picked out for you below.

With a career spanning more than 40 years, Stephen King has become a household name around the world. The author of numerous bestsellers, from Carrie to The Institute, King has turned scary stories into a veritable cash cow. Of course, King's Constant Readers — like Yours Truly — know all of this already.

Whether you're a huge fan of King's work, or you just want to read something by the Master of Horror before the Halloween season is over, there's a book for you on the list below.

If you're an Aries: Cell

As an Aries, you're one of the natural-born leaders of the Western Zodiac, but that's both a strength and a critical weakness for you, my ram friend. With great power comes great responsibility, and you aren't one to shirk it. Unfortunately, you can get a little too caught up in making all the "right" decisions, and punish yourself a little too harshly for a misstep.

That's why you've got to read Stephen King's Cell this year. Cell centers on Clay Riddell, a Maine artist who has traveled to Boston to make the deal of a lifetime. Fresh out of the negotiations, Clay is preparing to return home when tragedy strikes. A mysterious phenomenon, which will become known as "the Pulse," strikes the global cellular network, causing anyone using a phone at the time to revert back to an animalistic, zombie-like state. With time running out, Clay and the few survivors of the Pulse make their way north, toward Maine, where the artist hopes his young son has not used his cell phone recently.

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If you're a Taurus: The Regulators

Tauruses value the safety of home, with minimal chaos. Even if you live in a big, busy city, you enjoy the security that your comfortable commute and friendly neighborhood businesses provide. Taurus doesn't like being outside of their comfort zone, and they appreciate when things stay unchanged and orderly.

Stephen King's The Regulators will haunt you, Taurus, because it's about all the things you hate. In this novel — originally published under King's pen name, Richard Bachman, and published alongside its "twin," the King novel, Desperation — a sleepy, suburban neighborhood is upended by the arrival of several unmarked vans, carrying gunmen who kill the local paperboy and other residents, unprovoked. As the little hamlet descends into chaos it cannot escape, the survivors begin to realize that their attackers bear an eerie resemblance to the characters on a popular TV show.

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If you're a Gemini: Duma Key

Oh Gemini, you always have to have something to amuse yourself, don't you? You're always off to the next adventure, sometimes before you've even finished the last one. A Gemini is always down for a new experience, but sometimes that longing to get away from the mundanity of your everyday life can get you into trouble.

In Stephen King's Duma Key, a man finds out just how wrong an adventure can go. After sustaining head trauma in an accident, Edgar Freemantle undergoes a dramatic shift in mood and personality, becoming unpredictable and violent. When his wife leaves him, Edgar takes his doctor's advice and goes to live in a coastal Florida vacation home, where he plans to devote time to his artistic endeavors. As he becomes increasingly obsessed with working on his paintings, Edgar is able to ignore the strange phenomena that occur on the island, but a mysterious figure that appears in every work he produces may provide a clue into the dangers that Duma Key has in store for him.

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If you're a Cancer: The Stand

Like many of the signs, Cancer values the comforts of home. Unlike everyone else, Cancer would be perfectly happy to never leave home again. That devotion to one's own space might keep you content, but it also makes it quite easy for discomfort and inconvenience to get under your skin.

Stephen King's 1978 novel, The Stand, takes place in a post-apocalyptic version of the U.S., in which more than 99 percent of the population has been wiped out by a bioweapon unleashed from a government facility. With the country left broken and desolate, the survivors of the "superflu" begin to experience visions of two separate entities — an elderly woman named Mother Abigail, and a relatively young man called Randall Flagg. As forces rally around Abigail and Flagg, the stage is set for an epic battle of good vs. evil to decide the fate of the world.

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If you're a Leo: The Dark Half

No one ever said you didn't have a flair for the dramatic, Leo, but you've probably earned every moment you spend in the spotlight. The last thing you want is to fall out of favor with your crowd, or to lose the recognition you've worked so hard to achieve.

So what would you do if someone took all of that away from you? Stephen King's The Dark Half showcases one possible — and deadly — response. Thad Beaumont is tired of publishing his grittiest and most gruesome work under a pseudonym, so he takes the most logical course of action by holding a mock funeral for his pen name, George Stark, in a People magazine profile. Shortly thereafter, people begin to turn up dead, all of them murdered in a grisly fashion, with every crime scene bearing Thad's fingerprints.

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If you're a Virgo: Dreamcatcher

Virgo is the perfectionist of the Western Zodiac, and they expect others to be just as on point as they are, 24/7. Even though you're ready, willing, and able to help your friends be the best that they can be, Virgo, your ceaseless pursuit of absolute brilliance can be tiresome — both for you and for those around you.

Why not take a break from being the best and read a horror book instead? Stephen King's Dreamcatcher tells the story of four, supernaturally gifted friends who find themselves at the epicenter of a deadly battle between invading alien forces and the unhinged head of the local U.S. Army station while on a hunting trip at a remote lodge. As people around them begin to die, the men realize that wrong move could cost them everything. With time running out, they travel home to collect Duddits, a fifth friend, who may be the key to saving the world.

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If you're a Libra: Pet Sematary

If you're a Libra, you know the value of balance. In your world, everything has a season, a reason, and a place. Although you understand why all things must eventually pass away, that doesn't make it any easier for you to say goodbye. In fact, you hate the idea of losing your loved ones, because the void someone leaves behind could knock your world off-kilter.

That's why you've got to read Pet Sematary, Libra. In this Stephen King novel, a small family — mom, dad, two kids, and a cat — move to a house near a busy highway in Maine. Their new neighbor shows them the nearby "Pet Sematary," a place where local children have buried their beloved, furry friends for decades. But after the family cat is struck and killed in the road, the patriarch learns that there's another, more secret burial ground nearby, where things don't stay dead. The cat comes back relatively fine, and when the family's youngest child is killed on the same highway, burying him in the Pet Sematary seems like a fine idea...

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If you're a Scorpio: Needful Things

Scorpios put up a lot of defenses to prevent others from getting too close. After all, if no one knows who you really are, then they can't betray you, can they?

That's why Stephen King's Needful Things will scare the pants off of you, Scorpio. Set in the fictional — but familiar, to Constant Readers — town of Castle Rock, Maine, Needful Things centers on the titular curiosity shop, which always seems to have just what you desire most... for a price. As more and more of Castle Rock's residents take advantage of what Needful Things has to offer, they become increasingly suspicious of their neighbors, and begin to scoop up the store's newest — and deadliest — wares.

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If you're a Sagittarius: Under the Dome

No Sagittarius wants to be confined, in any way, shape, or form. You revel in your freedom to go anywhere and do anything you want, and you won't let anyone stand in your way.

Because of your globetrotting, free-spirited nature, you'll get all sorts of chills reading Stephen King's Under the Dome. Although it isn't one of King's scariest novels, this book reads like it was designed to frighten you in particular, Sagittarius. The story here centers on the small town of Chester's Mill, Maine: suddenly and catastrophically sealed off from the rest of the world when a giant, invisible dome drops over it out of the sky. As the ramifications of their petty squabbles and criminal dealings become magnified by the containing presence of the dome, the people of Chester's Mill come to realize that their neighbors might be just as dangerous as the force that trapped them there.

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If you're a Capricorn: The Shining

The workaholics of the Western Zodiac, Capricorns will do whatever it takes to get to the top of their game and stay there. The idea of failing to reach their potential, no matter the reason why, fills them with a sense of absolute dread.

In Stephen King's The Shining, Jack Torrance, an author whose career has failed to launch takes a temporary posting as the off-season caretaker of a large hotel in Colorado. Thinking that being snowed-in and alone with his family in the massive resort will be a boon to his writing, Jack sets about writing his masterpiece. Focusing on his dual career as caretaker and writer means neglecting his family and his own safety, however. The Overlook Hotel has plans for Jack Torrance, and it never wants him to leave.

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If you're an Aquarius: The Tommyknockers

Aquarians were born to stand out, and you wouldn't have it any other way. As an Aquarius, you know just how important it is to be your authentic, creative self, no matter what others think. The last thing you want to be is just a nameless, featureless face in the crowd.

Stephen King's alien horror novel, The Tommyknockers, will play to your deep seated fear of being just like everyone else. When Bobbi Anderson finds a piece of strange metal in the ground on her estate, she doesn't think much of it — except that she needs to dig it up. What begins as mere curiosity soon turns into an all-out obsession, as Bobbi excavates her property to reveal a massive spacecraft. As the process of digging up the ship becomes more involved, people around Bobbi begin to change — subtly, at first, and then in more horrifying ways.

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If you're a Pisces: Misery

As a Pisces, you'll never let go of your creativity. In the same way that Sagittarius hates the idea of losing their freedom of movement, you would never give up on your artistic pursuits in a million years.

That's exactly why you need to read Stephen King's Misery. In this horrifying novel, romance novelist Paul Sheldon crashes his car on a remote road, only to find himself swiftly rescued by Annie Wilkes — Paul's biggest fan. Injured and recuperating in Annie's house, Paul soon realizes that the woman most enamored with his work may never allow him to leave. Once Annie reads Paul's newest book, in which he kills off her favorite character — the eponymous Misery Chastain — things get a lot worse, and quickly, for the author.

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