To say that I've tried my fair share of vibrators would be an understatement. Since a good friend and their boyfriend chaperoned me on my first trip to Babeland in New York city to show me the wonderful world of vibes, I've been sold. I've owned them, I've bought them as gifts, and I've lost more of them in my parents' apartment than I like to think about. And the truth is, I love the variety of vibrators that you can find. Classic rabbits, portable bullet vibrators, different speeds and rhythms — it's great that there so many affordable, interesting toys out there. But that being said, there's definitely been one that was a game-changer for me. And the best vibrator for me didn't actually take the top spot for the reasons you might think.
For me, that vibrator was the MysteryVibe Crescendo. Now, there are a lot of great things about this vibrator. The most obvious advantage that it has is that it's bendable — you can play around with it to find just the kind of stimulation and angle that you're looking for. The other benefit is that it's designed for a couple, as well as for solo use. Its shape isn't intimidating to a partner (of whatever gender) and it's easy to add into your sex life, meaning that it's an enhancing experience rather than a cumbersome one. And that's important, because when both parties are open-minded, vibrators can really up the sensations for both of them.
"For years, vibrators were positioned as solitary devices, essentially as something women used when a man wasn't available/if they didn't have a partner," Stephanie Alys, co-founder and Chief Pleasure Officer of MysteryVibe, tells Bustle. "I suspect much of that thinking came from the fact that men not only dominated the media, they dominated the production of pleasure products. For that generation the idea that the man alone can not get a woman to orgasm was ego-threatening. That's starting to change."
And the Crescendo is one of the vibrators leading that change. "[MysteryVibe's] Crescendo has, from the beginning, been designed as a device for couples," Alys says. "Certainly, it works tremendously well without a partner, but we wanted to build a product that would increase communication and pleasure. Something that would be seen as a must-have for better sex. No chef has their ego threatened by a KitchenAid mixer or sous vide cooker — why are we so hesitant about bringing tech to the bedroom?" Exactly. And the Crescendo provides that enhancement.
So it's adjustable, it's great with a partner, it gives a serious vibe — but the truth is, that's not why it was a game-changer for me. Ironically, the reason this vibrator helped my sex life had nothing (or almost nothing) to do with its sexual prowess. It had to do with just how damn fancy it was.
That's not to say that I found the luxury of it gave me a better orgasm — though maybe it didn't hurt. But I tend to be utilitarian when it comes to masturbation. I masturbate a lot and I've had sex a lot, and — despite writing on the internet about how people should slow down and take the time to really enjoy these experiences — I tend to rush them. Especially masturbation. I'll fit in a quick session when I have a break, half-dressed, on top of the bed. No candles, no music, no real thought put into any of it. It's definitely not glamorous and, without even realizing it, I was in a real rut.
But when I got my Crescendo, it snapped me out of it. It sounds silly, but it was something about the oomph and presentation of it. It came wrapped in two different boxes, with a special pouch, a slick resting charger, even a little notecard. It was pretty much the fanciest thing I've ever touched. And something about that — mixed with the fact that it's bendable in a way that encourages experimentation — just made me slow down finally.
And when I did that, it sort of reset my attitude during masturbation and during sex in a really subtle way. It jolted me out of my complacency and utilitarianism. Yes, it's really powerful and has great G-spot and clit stimulation. Yes, it's great for couples. But for me, it was more that it was something so different, something that felt luxurious and like I should take my time with, that really made the difference. It was a vibe that demanded me to stop and smell the roses.
So when you're looking for a sex toy, it may be most helpful to think about the overall experience. Of course you want something that's going to get the job done and feel amazing, but you also want something that's going to enhance the entire event — whether it's for solo use or for sex. For me, that meant slowing down. For you, it might mean spicing things up. But a real game-changer may even be about more than just the vibes.
