There are a lot of different ways that you can show someone how much you care. Some people are all about saying how they feel, while some people show their sentiments more through their actions. This idea — that we all show love differently — is central to the concept of the five love languages.
Dr. Gary Chapman created this idea and outlines them in his book The 5 Love Languages. The idea being that there are five different ways people feel love and show love in their relationships. The five love languages are: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. But what's the most popular way to express yourself in a romantic relationship?
According to new data from dating app Hinge — where members answer questions to a few prompts that then show up on their profiles — the most common love language is Quality Time, which was over twice as popular for its users as the next option, Words of Affirmation.
Neither of these sound like you? Don't worry, everyone is different and there's no reason you have to have the same love language as your partner in order to have a health relationship.
“I believe the relationship theory of love languages are very relevant to finding your perfect match, but not in the way that most people assume,” senior matchmaker and dating coach Lori Salkin tells Bustle. “People do not need to speak the same love language to succeed as a couple, rather they need to understand the love language their significant other speaks. That is not easy; it not only requires understanding the person and how they are different you, but that what is important to them is different from what is important to you and being able to separate your wants and needs from theirs to give them what they want and trust in return that they will give you what you want while neither of you is acting for yourself, but only for the other. If it happens to be you speak the same love language, that is significantly easier!”
So even if you an and a partner or someone you're interested in don't speak the same love language, understanding how each other expresses and received affection can be so helpful. Here's what else Hinge found.
1Physical Touch Was More Important For Men
While Quality Time was the most common love language overall, there was some discrepancy between men and women in how they looked at the other love languages. For men, Physical Touch and Words of Affirmation were both neck-in-neck for second place, but for women it was just Words of Affirmation comfortably in ahead.
2People In Cities Love Quality Time
There must be something about hectic city life, because Quality Time was the most common love language in every major city. New York, Los Angeles, DC, San Francisco, and Chicago all choose Quality Time as their top love language, showing that when you're feeling short on time, those little moments together can become so much more important.
3Women Who Are Acts Of Service Are Very Popular Online
Women who answered that Acts of Service was their love language of choice received a whopping 6.6 times more likes than other women.
4Quality Time Gave Men A Boost
If Acts of Service made women more popular, men who chose Quality Time also got a boost — they got around 1.8 times as many likes than other men.
5Daters Want To Know About A Match's Love Language
Interestingly, women who answered this prompt on Hinge about their love language were much more popular — receiving five times as many likes. It makes sense, because love languages can tell you so much about a person, so keep that in mind if you're looking for conversation starters.
Love languages are a really useful tool to understand your partner — and yourself. It was interesting to see that Quality Time was by far the most common love language — and an important reminder to make time for the people you love.
