Whether it's a one-night stand or relationship sex, sometimes you have the insatiable urge to feel connected to your partner during sex — extra connected. Luckily, there are many ways to do that. For example, a 2017 study found that saying "I love you" during sex can make partners feel emotionally connected (though this would be very awkward during a one-night stand), as well as other things like eye contact, breathing in sync, and practicing mindfulness. While all these things can take intimacy to a whole new level, they're not the only things.
A recent survey of 994 people, ages 18 to 74, by Superdrug Online Doctor, found that when it comes to feeling connected to a partner, sex position plays a big role.
“Sex can be the perfect conduit to build intimacy between a couple because it addresses both the emotional and physical aspects of intimacy. Skin-to-skin contact allows for the release of the 'bonding' hormone oxytocin and helps you build trust — an important component of intimacy,” relationship and sex expert Dr. Kat Van Kirk tells Bustle. “Emotionally, sex can help you learn to open up and become vulnerable with your partner by being willing to try new things and discuss sensitive topics related to your sexuality."
The 994 respondents consisted of 49 percent women, 51 percent men, and less than one percent who didn't identify as either. While the group was primarily heterosexual, these sex positions work with two women as well. Here are the sex positions women said were the best for connecting to their partner, according to the survey.
1Missionary
Although it goes without saying, but for the majority of the women surveyed, 60 percent reported that missionary was the position that made them feel most connected with their partner. It might have something to do with all that eye contact, which makes things supremely intimate.
2Spooning
Part cuddle, part sex, for 15 percent of women, the spooning sex position is their favorite when it comes to connecting with their partner.
3Cowgirl
According to the survey, 28 percent of women cite cowgirl as the position that gives them the best orgasms. When we orgasm, our bodies release oxytocin, which doesn't just make us feel good, but makes us feel closer to our partner. So while the face-to-face aspect plays a role in that connectedness experienced in this position, the fact that it's also likely to result in an orgasm explains why 10 percent of women might have this one high up on their list.
469
Nothing says: "I'm totally connected to you," like having your faces in each other's crotches. Oral sex is a very intimate sexual act and requires a level of vulnerability. Vulnerability, naturally, helps us lower our guard, resulting in five percent of women reporting that this position helps them feel connected to their partner.
What makes people feel emotionally intimate varies from person to person, but if you're looking to inject more connection into your sex life, these positions just might do the trick.
