Finding the perfect porn site can be tough, especially for women. Many of the mainstream porn sites feel geared towards men, which I'm reminded of every time I'm bombarded with sidebar ads offering to help me enlarge my non-existent penis. Every. Damn. Time. Not to mention that in many of the videos, women scream, squirm, and are totally dominated which is totally some people's thing, but it's not everyone's.
Luckily, there are some very talented directors out there who understand that. Erika Lust, the author and indie adult-film maker behind XConfessions and other cult favorites, is one of those directors. She makes porn with women in mind — and it shows.
"I keep in mind this strange thought that women are sexual beings and that female pleasure matters!," Lust tells Bustle. "Women also have pleasure watching people having sex. However, mainstream porn shows the female body as inherently subjugated and passive to men and male sexual desire, which in turn is depicted as the aggressive active counterpart. In this respect, both men and women are shortchanged and forced to contort themselves into a role that does not allow for self expression or any true emotion."
"What empowers women is to have a voice on the story and to seek their own pleasure."
Her videos are amazing — and they've tapped into something that many women are missing from mainstream porn. "That is the reason why there are less female viewers in mainstream porn because women in general don't want to deal with porn that is constantly not only not taking care of their pleasure on the screen but completely neglecting it," Lust says. "My films represent people as subjects and they promotes role equality. Both female and male characters are human beings, not machines, and women have their own sex drive and desires and are not passive objects exclusively focused on pleasuring the men. It doesn't matter if the film contains BDSM elements, role-play, it's romantic or anything in between; what empowers women is to have a voice on the story and to seek their own pleasure. "
If you look around, there are actually a huge amount of amazing porn sites that are made by women, for women. Whether you're kinky, vanilla, a regular porn user, or just trying to figure out what all the fuss is about, there are places on the internet where you can watch porn and not feel flung into a masculine space. Here's what you should check out.
1MakeLoveNotPorn
Cindy Gallop, the founder of MakeLoveNotPorn (NSFW) is one of the OGs of feminist porn. Dedicated to portraying a realistic view of sex and understanding how formative porn can be, this user-generated site shows real people having real sex. The authenticity of this model makes all the difference. In fact, they've even done some badass behind-the-scenes footage where you can get to know the people and see how normal they really are.
2XConfessions
Erika Lust is a badass feminist porn director who turns sex scenes into works of art. You can check out Lust Cinema (NSFW) for a look at her top picks, but XConfessions (NSFW) is a truly special project. She took real people's fantasies and made them into porn films with an authentic flair. It's a total cult favorite.
3PetraJoy.com
She's a sex-positive artist whose porn focuses on female pleasure, so really, what's not to love? Petra Joy (NSFW) is making some great porn that is definitely female-friendly. "Since 2004 she has produced erotic films from a female perspective," her site explains. "Her alternative, feminist porn caused a stir in the media and won many awards. Petra is also a published author and curator of female-made porn. She hopes to make more dreams come true and inspire other women to realize theirs." Sounds good to me.
4Ersties
A totally female team making porn for women? I'm in. They label themselves the 'finest handmade erotica' (NSFW) and say they're "all about 100 percent real girls experiencing 100 percent real intimate moments. This is porn…done differently!" A lot of the videos feature real couples and you can see behind-the-scenes interviews to get to know the women involved.
5CrashPadSeries
I can't get through a favorite porn list without mentioning CrashPadSeries (NSFW), the queer-friendly site from Pink And White Productions. The founder and director of Pink and White Productions, Shine Louise Houston, creates ethical, inclusive material that promote sexual health and equal pay — oh, and scenes that are sexy AF.
From erotica to hardcore, there are plenty of options available that are fun, ethical, and feminist. Get out there and start looking.
