Entertainment
The 2017 Movie You Need To See, Based On Astrology
I have a confession to make: I'm a total sucker when it comes to astrology, and I always have been. Ever since I was a kid, I've pored over the distinct traits of the astrological signs or judged relationship compatibility based on the star signs of friends, co-workers, and lovers. And though I can't say with any certainty that I completely believe in it all, I genuinely would like to. If for nothing else, it brings a little fun and magic to the world. Astrology can also come in handy for providing some much-needed guidance in times of doubt. Such as, for example, what movie to see in theaters. And judging from all the awesome movies being released in 2017, you're definitely going to need a little help in deciding which one not to miss.
And you can totally trust my authority on this, guys. Because not only do I know movies, but I also know my astrological signs. And these are movies which don't just reflect the specific personality traits of each sign, they're also movies which will complement who you are. As a result, these are cinema experiences which will bring catharsis to the moody, philosophy to the thinkers, and absolute beauty to those who sincerely crave it.
So, hunt down your astrology sign below, discover which 2017 film is your match, and be sure to set a date with yourself to go see it.
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Blade Runner 2049 (Release Date: Nov. 22)
Although you can be spectacularly hilarious when you want to be, your closest friends will know you as someone with great insight about the world. You got depth, kid, even if you hate advertising that fact. Blade Runner 2049 looks full of the sort of depth you secretly crave, while still delivering you with the joys of Ryan Gosling to let your fiery passions go wild upon.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Thor: Ragnarok (Release Date: Nov. 3)
Much like Thor, you can be kind of stubborn and know how to stand your ground in order to make a point (or, you know, save the world). But as well as being strong, you're also completely lovable and affectionate. So Thor: Ragnarok will be the perfect date movie for you to revel in stubborn, godly superpowers, while showing some love to a honey.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
The Lego Batman Movie (Release Date: Feb. 10)
Like Batman and Bruce Wayne, you can be something of a dual personality, incredibly mysterious, and highly unpredictable. But damn, are you a charmer with a wicked sense of humor. You'll definitely benefit from taking the gloomy side of your personality along to the movies to howl with laughter at The Lego Batman Movie. Thus unleashing your lighter side.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
John Wick: Chapter 2 (Release Date: Feb. 10)
Listen, I know you have an absolute heart of gold, so don't take this the wrong way, but sometimes you can be kind of moody. But that's cool, because all you need is some alone time, right? And a movie theater is the best place to grab some. With that in mind, the second John Wick installment — which stars Keanu Reeves as the titular, brutal assassin trapped in a seemingly endless bad mood — will be the essential and cathartic movie magic you need.
Leo (July 23 - Aug. 22)
Wonder Woman (Release Date: June 2)
I don't even think I need to tell you this, do I? Because you're an absolute boss who is probably already totally obsessed with seeing Gal Gadot's Wonder Woman given her own movie this year. And just like the powerful, Amazonian superhero, you're also brave, smart, and a natural leader. So, go get inspired.
Virgo (Aug. 23 - Sept. 22)
The Dark Tower (Release Date: July 28)
As a natural and intelligent storyteller, you crave remarkable tales which allow you to indulge your inquisitive side. The long-awaited big screen adaptation of Stephen King's sprawling fantasy, The Dark Tower, is precisely the sort of story you'll want to lose yourself to in 2017.
Libra (Sept. 23 - Oct. 22)
Justice League (Release Date: Nov. 17)
As someone who's all about keeping the peace, restoring balance, and sticking up for justice, I can think of no better movie for you to get pumped for in 2017 than Justice League. Hell, you should probably be a character in it.
Scorpio (Oct. 23 - Nov. 21)
Fifty Shades Darker (Release Date: Feb. 10)
You're so cool. As well as being unbelievably confident, bold, and pretty powerful when you want to be, you also happen to be the sexiest (and thirstiest) sign of the zodiac. So obviously, a naughty little movie like Fifty Shades Darker will likely tick off more than a few of your personal interests. Come for the kink, but stay for the idealistic portrayal of Mr. Grey's impossible business prowess.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22 - Dec. 21)
Ghost In The Shell (Release Date: March 31)
With your fierce intelligence and inquisitive nature, you're basically the philosopher of the zodiac. And if you can stand to take a couple of hours off from the many different books you're probably reading at once and the multiple projects you're working on, then you should definitely go and see Ghost In The Shell. The original is renowned for its philosophic depths, and this remake starring Scarlett Johansson looks to be no different.
Capricorn (Dec. 22 - Jan. 19)
Alien: Covenant (Release Date: May 19)
Like Sagittarius, Capricorn is also a super smart and philosophical sign, albeit one on the slightly darker side of the zodiac. Your practical nature means that though you may go through gloomy spells, you also know exactly how to use those moods constructively for a set purpose. With that in mind, you should totally take one of those dark moods to the cinema so you can truly revel in the intelligent horror of Alien: Covenant.
Aquarius (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18)
Beauty And The Beast (Release Date: March 17)
Introverted and secretly poetic, you're something of an old romantic even if that's something you find difficult to share with people. Which is fine, because what you lack in showy displays of affection, you more than make up for with actions. You possess the most important personality traits of both Belle and the Beast, making this live-action remake of the Disney animated classic a must-see movie for you this year.
Pisces (Feb. 19 - March 20)
Coco (Release Date: Nov. 22)
Gentle, empathetic, and hugely creative, you need a movie brimming with beauty and magic to soothe your sensitive soul. And what better choice could there possibly be than Pixar's newest creation, Coco? Not only will the movie indulge your artistic and musical spirit, but it'll also speak to your deep appreciation of families, friendships, and loyalty.
And just remember, if you are going to choose one of these movies to enjoy on a date with someone, then be sure to make sure that their sign is compatible with yours beforehand. Otherwise, they might just hate that film which you happen to love. Happy viewing, folks.
