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Taylor Sheds A Bright Light On The Impact Of Verbal Abuse On 'Bachelor In Paradise'

by Lindsay Denninger
Paul Hebert/ABC

Is the Grim Reaper coming for Bachelor In Paradise 4's best couple? Derek Peth and Taylor Nolan have been smooching since day one (literally) in Mexico, but now it seems like a storm is coming. Taylor was seriously triggered by something Derek said to her on Bachelor In Paradise and now she is considering splitting. How can we stop this power couple from saying goodbye?

Taylor and Derek were having a conversation about their communication with each other and Derek said "F—k you" to Taylor after she told him that the way he runs from confrontation is troubling to her in a potential partner. He seemed to be saying it in a kidding matter, but Taylor freaked out, and Derek didn't know why. Turns out that Taylor has been verbally and emotionally abused in other relationships, so even though Derek didn't seem to mean what he said in a serious way, Taylor was triggered by the words and it brought back flashes of her terrible past relationships. At first, I thought that Taylor was overreacting and flying off the handle over something that Derek was obviously kidding about, but as she recounted what's happened to her in the past and why she is so sensitive about language that she feels is belittling to her, I totally got it. According to a study by Florida State University, people who were verbally abused when they were young "had 1.6 times as many symptoms of depression and anxiety as those who had not been verbally abused and were twice as likely to have suffered a mood or anxiety disorder over their lifetime." The affects of verbal abuse are long-felt.

Paul Hebert/ABC

It's hard to erase that stuff from your brain, but from where I sit, Taylor should give Derek a chance, especially after seeing how he ultimately handled the situation. He didn't mean to hurt her or offend her, and they certainly haven't known each other long enough to explore deeply in the ex files. If this was a relationship in the real world, Derek and Taylor would have probably already explored this trigger of hers in a deeper conversation, and Derek would know to avoid it or at least work through it. But since they're on Bachelor In Paradise, everything is too fast and sometimes, things come out wrong. Heck, they come out wrong in real life, too, but at least you have some time to recover from that.

Fortunately, Derek had the emotional maturity (which is rare on this season of Bachelor In Paradise, it seems) to realize how Taylor feels, and he apologized. Taylor apologized, too, for reacting the way that she did. This is the moment in every season of Bachelor In Paradise when you know that one of the couples can make it after all — Taylor and Derek are it. They can do the fun stuff, but deal with the real-life stuff, too, the stuff that really defines a relationship.