Flowers are beautiful, but they are also canceled. Mostly because I cannot think of a single reason why anyone would want a bouquet of flowers when in this Year Of Our Glorious Carbs 2019, you can get your one true love a bouquet of Olive Garden breadsticks for Valentine's Day instead. In fact, I dare you to think of something that expresses true love with near the majesty of taking a dozen Olive Garden breadsticks to the face on the most romantic day of the year.
Aside from the fact of BREAD, this is also the ideal gift for your Valentine because it is ridiculously, gloriously, painlessly easy to do. Per Olive Garden, to make this magic happen for you and your beloved breadstick connoisseur, all you have to do is order the breadsticks to-go from your closest Olive Garden, print and cut one of the Breadstick Bouquet wrappers that OG went ahead and created for all of us, wrap the breadsticks inside, and present it to your Valentine's Day date with love.
This just goes to show that if you can't say it in words, you can most definitely say it in bread. But because words are always nice, Olive Garden has five different wrapping options that you can download and use for your breadstick bouquet-ing needs, depending on what your vibe is this Valentine's Day.
The Traditionalist
This way you don't even have to bother with a card!
The Olive Garden Stan
A pun that can only be fully appreciated by someone who has screamed at their laptop at least once during a rush for the annual Olive Garden Unlimited Pasta Pass.
The Minimalist
Short, sweet, to the point.
The Romantic
May your love, like Olive Garden's breadsticks to your table, be endlessly flowing.
The Foodie
When the only thing you love more than food is each other (well, most of the time).
The Cheesy
Food metaphors are, as always, the best metaphors.
But better than food metaphors is actual food, which is also a thing you can acquire at Olive Garden this Valentine's Day — specifically, a "Valentine’s Day ToGo Dinner for Two." The deal starts at $35.99, and includes either soup or salad with breadsticks, your choice of one of two dipping sauces (Alfredo or Five Cheese Marinara), a shareable entrée for two (Five Cheese Ziti al Forno or Chicken Alfredo, and a shareable dessert of either Black Tie Mouse Cake or Tiramisu. Then you can eat all your cheesy, carb-laden deliciousness the way it was meant to be eaten: on your couch, in the comfort of your own Netflix glow.
Here's where you can go on Olive Garden's website to order your "ToGo Dinner for Two" through Valentine's Day; and for the extra romantic and bold, here's where you can go to download full-size versions of the breadstick bouquet wrappers to gift your one true love. Wishing you love, light, and bread on this romantic day of days, and for all the ones that follow.