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The high you get from being in the honeymoon phase of a relationship can make you feel like you've finally found "The One." When your relationship is picture perfect, as it tends to be in the early days, it's easy to overlook any potential red flags. So how can you tell if your partner is truly your person? According to experts, your partner's post-honeymoon phase behavior can clue you in.
"The honeymoon phase can be deceiving," Amica Graber, relationship expert for TruthFinder, tells Bustle. "When you first meet someone, lust and attraction can scramble your judgment. Calling someone 'The One' early on in a relationship may be putting too much pressure on the relationship before it’s truly developed. So it’s wise to take a step back and see how things develop over time."
There are many red flags and dealbreakers that only pop up once the honeymoon period is over, like major incompatibilities and how your partner responds to conflict. These are things that tend to unfold over time.
But it's equally important to observe the positive things about your partner once the honeymoon phase has ended. According to experts, if your partner does the following things after the honeymoon phase is over, you may have found "The One."
1Make An Effort To Keep The Relationship Moving Forward
"Contrary to what the latest love story movie might suggest, love is a choice," relationship and marriage counselor, Kevon Owen, M.S., LPC, tells Bustle. "Practice that and you will perfect it." According to him, your partner will be "The One" if they make a conscious effort to be that person for you. That means, they'll keep working at the relationship, they'll prioritize romance, and they'll find ways to hold on to the love you have for each other. They know relationships need nurturing to last and they'll keep putting in the effort to make things work.
2Share Their Feelings
Whether they're feeling happy and in love or sad and hurt, your partner should be OK with sharing their feelings with you after the honeymoon phase has ended. "In a real relationship, a person should be able to share feelings, thoughts, and information with their partner on a deeper level," Holly Zink, relationship expert for Grapevine, tells Bustle. If you want to have a strong emotional bond with your partner, it's essential for them to be vulnerable and open up.
3Show You Their True Self
In the early stages of your relationship, it's common to put only the very best version of yourself on display. But that can only last for so long. Once the honeymoon phase is over, Zink says your partner should be completely comfortable being their authentic self around you if they're really "The One." This is important for building trust in the relationship.
4Accept You For Who You Are
We all have our little habits, quirks, and behaviors that can annoy other people. When the honeymoon period ends, it's easier for you and your partner to start noticing these things about each other. But as relationship expert Kryss Shane, MS, MSW, LSW, LMSW, tells Bustle, "You can tell a relationship is built to last if those 'annoying' behaviors are silly or inconsequential to you, and vice versa." This shows that your partner loves and accepts you for who you are. If they get annoyed or try to force you to change, Shane says, this doesn't bode well for the future of the relationship.
5Work With You To Resolve Conflicts
Another thing to look for after the honeymoon phase has ended is how your partner deals with conflict and miscommunication. "[They should] work through difficult interactions and hang in there when things get tough in the relationship," relationship therapist, Julie Williamson, LPC, NCC, RPT, tells Bustle. "If so, that's a good sign that they'll be willing and able to work through potential problems in a longer-term relationship."
6Make You Feel Like A Priority
At the start of a relationship, it's common to want to text, call, and see each other all the time. But as you get more comfortable with each other, that can start to fade a bit. But if your partner treats you as if they're still trying to "woo" you, that's a good sign. As therapist Jordan Madison, LGMFT with Friends in Transition Counseling Services, LLC, tells Bustle, a partner who will make you feel special long after the honeymoon period is over is a keeper.
"This isn't to say that they constantly do big gestures and romance you 24/7, because that is a very high expectation to put on someone," Madison says. "But if you notice they still make time to make you feel like a priority in small ways, that is a great sign."
7Remain Positive And Consistent
During the honeymoon phase, couples tend to be on their best behavior. For instance, you're more likely to respond to messages right away, and you're less likely to cancel on dates last minute. "If your partner continues the positive behavior once these initial lovey-dovey feelings have worn off, it's a good sign that this is a pattern of behavior for them," Williamson says. Consistency is a big deal if you value stability in your relationship.
The early stages of a relationship are great, but you can only stay in that bubble for so long. That's why paying attention to your partner's post-honeymoon phase behavior is important. If they keep working at the relationship, do things that make you feel like a priority, and remain consistent, you may have found "The One."
