Here’s How To Sleep Better When You Share A Bed With Someone Else

If you're struggling to compromise on how much personal space you have in bed, sleep expert and psychologist Dr. Janet Kennedy tells Health, it's a good idea to articulate what you need. "One partner might like snuggling before bed and falling asleep in the other's arms, while the other feels crowded and can't relax unless he or she turns away. It's just a difference in sleep styles," Kennedy says. Once you determine what everybody needs, try to find a sleep style that works as a compromise. "Agree to cuddle until the snuggler drifts off, at which point the other person can retreat to their side of the bed and sleep solo for the rest of the night," she suggests.

Sleep is highly affected by temperature, and everybody has their own comfortable range of degrees. But some might like it toasty hot, while others like it ice cold. The National Sleep Foundation recommends working it out mathematically. "If your partner likes the room on the cold side, you could use a separate comforter to keep warm. Or vice versa. Alternatively, if you like the room at 66 degrees and your partner likes it at 62, perhaps you can compromise on 64," they suggest. "Whatever you choose, it’s best to stick within the range of 60 to 67 degrees." Too hot and neither of you will sleep; too cold, and you'll suffer from shivers.

Women seem to sleep better with partners in long-term relationships rather than those who are single or have just lost a partner, according to a study from the University of Pittsburgh in 2009. No, this isn't a reason for married women to feel smug; it's an insight into why you might find sleeping with a less stable partner a bit less restful. "As sleep is critical to health and longevity, this finding supports the idea that sleeping with a partner provides real health benefits," the Valley Sleep Center explains — and if you're not completely comfortable with them yet, sleepovers might not help your rest.

One partner's snoring can seriously affect your sleep. The Better Sleep Council recommends that snoring be dealt with progressively. "Because snoring can be part of a serious health issue, consult your physician first," they suggest. "If your partner’s snoring is run-of-the-mill, try investing in anti-snore pillows, sprays or nasal strips designed to help people breathe more easily. These products often alleviate the worst of the issue. And if your partner’s snoring persists, try foam earplugs before you try a different room."

Tune your sleeping space to both your sleeping needs (yes, if they've basically moved into your place, that means making adjustments). It doesn't mean a full renovation, either. Eco-friendly mattress producer Amerisleep suggests small practical changes. "If you like to stay up and read, set up a nook on the other side of the room instead of reading in bed, where the light is more likely to disrupt your partner. If they have to get up earlier for work, have them lay out their clothes the night before and get ready in the bathroom," they advise. "Want to take things to the next level? Consider investing in a canopy bed with dark, heavy curtains to block outside light." These changes are cheap and easy, and help coordinate radically different sleep schedules and light needs.

Starting to share your bed for the first time in a while? A standard double might not cut it. "Did you know that a standard double bed (135cm x 190cm) only gives you and your partner the same space to sleep in as a cot?" says the Sleep Council. "With the average person tossing and turning up to 60 times a night you’re bound to be disturbed by a restless sleeper. You’d be amazed what a difference a king size (150cm x 200cm) can make even though it’s just 15cm wider and 10cm longer. Not only is it investment in your sleep, it’s investment for your relationship." And you'll always feel like you're sleeping in a luxurious hotel.

If your partner (or you) still finds sleeping together difficult and constant restless is disturbing both of you, try to identify the cause. Not down to light disturbance, temperature, snoring or being kept awake by their late reading? It could be your mattress. "If your mattress is uncomfortable, it can lead to restless sleep. Evaluate the comfort and support of your mattress every five to seven years to determine whether it’s the culprit," recommends the Better Sleep Council. New mattresses — on your king-size bed — will help everybody stretch out, feel supported, and sleep like angels.

The essence of dealing with sleep issues when snoozing with a partner, say experts, is talking about them and finding compromises. Not every solution is right for everybody, but with open communication, you can find something that works for all parties involved.