How To Report Sexual Harassment If You Can't Go To Your Boss Or HR

“A general rule when dealing with any internal organizational issues is to document it,” Pontrelli tells Bustle. Save emails; take detailed notes on what happened, what was said, when, and in what context; the works. Take all these notes as soon as possible after an incident occurs, so you get the details down while it’s all fresh. “If you did seek therapy, be sure to document that as well,” Pontrelli says. “Be sure to CC/BCC both your work and personal email addresses so you have multiple time stamped copies of your complaint. Cassidy adds that texting yourself details of the event on your personal phone is an easy way to keep track and hold onto evidence.

“Even though your company may not have a formal HR representative, they will usually have a person who has purview over these responsibilities. If there is no individual appointed to deal with such matters, the right person to approach is your immediate supervisor,” Pontrelli says. If your immediate supervisor is the person harassing you, or you’re otherwise uncomfortable looping them in, Pontrelli advises approaching their manager.

“An employee is never required to report harassment to their harasser, even if that person is their direct supervisor or the HR manager to whom they would normally report,” Cassidy adds. “If their harasser is in management, the law assumes that the employer knows what is going on and is therefore responsible. However, it is still a good idea for the employee to document the harassment and, if they can, report the harassment to another member of management.”

Being sexually harassed can be isolating, but you don’t have to go through it alone. “Identifying who you can talk to about sexual harassment is both strategically and mentally important,” says Pontrelli. “At work, you want to identify the individual(s) who you trust and can go to bat for you or give you advice — it can be helpful, but not necessary, for this to be a superior,” Pontrelli notes. “In your personal life, you should seek out therapy, if necessary, and try to build a social support group to help you cope through this emotionally stressful time.”

While it could be a good idea to talk to a co-worker for support, Cassidy says, “reporting to a co-worker will not change whether the employer is responsible for the harassment.”

If your workplace is unionized, you may have built-in resources. “Unionized employees have more layers of protection, and their shop steward can generally advocate on their behalf to management,” Cassidy tells Bustle.

“File a formal grievance through the union and try to get a shop steward or other union official to help you work through the grievance process,” suggests the non-profit organization Equal Rights Advocates. “Get a copy of your collective bargaining agreement to see if it discusses the problems you are experiencing. Keep in mind that if you use your union’s grievance procedure, you must still file a complaint (or ‘charge’) of discrimination with a government agency before filing a lawsuit in federal or state court.”

If, even after you report the harassment, no investigation is launched, no resolution is offered, or no solution ensuring your safety is put into place, you might want to consider taking it a step further. “At this point, you should look up your city or state’s Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) office,” says Pontrelli. “Once you file a complaint, also known in this case as ‘filing a charge,’ they will investigate your organization, their handling of the matter, and importantly, your particular case of sexual harassment.”

Pontrelli says a civil suit found in your favor could award you damages for emotional distress, backpay if you’ve missed work because of harassment, or lost benefits. These suits are important not just for the individual affected, but for the safety of other employees. “Such lawsuits can mandate the employer to institute procedures to protect other employees from harassment, and require sexual harassment training to educate the employees on the importance of how to conduct oneself, how to spot harassment, and how to stop it,” says Pontrelli.

Before embarking on this step, you may also want to talk to an employment lawyer first. The AAUW has some good pointers on how to find one.

Sometimes, even when you talk to all the right people, and follow all the right procedures, the person who’s sexually harassing you may come away without a punishment. You might even have to continue to work with them. In this case, the best course of action for your well-being may be to leave that workplace, as unfair as it is. Consider job-hunting, putting aside an emergency fund, and building a fall-back network of people who can support you while you look for safe work.