We managed to put a human being on the moon 50 years ago, yet we had to wait until 2019 for the simplest, most necessary innovation of all: we finally exist in a world with chocolate-stuffed marshmallows. It's a hack so brilliant that mere mortals can only look at it and weep. No longer will you have to endure the tyranny of remembering both your marshmallows and your chocolate, or of trying to perfect the delicate marshmallow-and-chocolate ratio in your s'more — the burden of that responsibility does not belong to you any longer. You are ... free.
The marshmallows in question are called "Stuffed Puffs," which, as a Hufflepuff who enjoys food, is how I identify most of the time. Per the Instagram recently launched by the product, the filled marshmallows are made with real chocolate, and will hit shelves at Walmart on April 28. In case you are feeling especially impatient, the company has a live countdown clock keeping time on its website right now. Just so you're fully aware of the emotional brink this is about to put you on, that means you'll be subjecting yourself to the Avengers: Endgame premiere, the rumored new Taylor Swift music, and the best thing you've ever tasted in your entire existence in a 48-hour span. Which is to say, we are all calling out of work that Monday.
While we don't have a lot of information to go on yet from the product's Instagram or website, we do have the above picture to give us a preview of what the end result will look like when you s'more it up — and the answer is gooey as heck. There are waterfalls of melted chocolate coming out of that s'more, and waterfalls of tears coming out of my eyes.
Once the countdown reaches its end on the website, here's hoping that we'll have more info to go on — particularly whether or not this will come in flavors. My kingdom for a peanut butter-stuffed marshmallow. My firstborn for a chocolate caramel-stuffed one. I'd go on but I am running out of bargaining chips to sacrifice for marshmallow flavors, so I'll quit while I'm ahead.
In the meantime, if you're looking to get your marshmallow on, remember that we are in the thick of prime Peeps season. This year the company launched a Pancakes & Syrup flavor as part of its iconic, multicolored lineup, and I'm not going to lie — despite the fact it isn't stuffed with chocolate, it sounds like the s'mores filling to rule them all.
Speaking of, relevant question for all you brave s'mores-making souls out there: What will happen if you light these chocolate-stuffed marshmallows on fire? And relevant question for my fellow fire-fearing cowards: What will happen if you pop these chocolatey babies in the microwave? There's a whole world of marshmallow anarchy to discover, thanks to Stuffed Puffs, and this is all just the beginning. Keep your eyes peeled for these to drop on Walmart shelves on April 28.
